Handle This: He's Coming on Strong

August 20, 2008

On Monday night you had a decent first date with a guy you met the previous week. Though it wasn’t ground breaking, you’re definitely up for a second date and would expect a phone call from him later on that week.

Tuesday morning you’re shocked when you receive a bouquet of two dozen long stem red roses from your date with a sappy card expressing how amazing he thinks you are. You’re not sure what to make of this very direct gesture, which your coworkers think is creepy. How do you handle this?

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19 Comments

designerel 4 years 38 weeks

It wouldn't creep me out to get the roses, but if similar behavior continued after that I'd be careful.

sparklestar 4 years 38 weeks

It would creep me out. I'd ask him to turn off the charm if he wants to impress me.

ladychaos 4 years 38 weeks

I'm with Alyssa on that...

Jude C 4 years 38 weeks

Yeah. It's not that there's anything wrong with the big romantic gesture, but I've found that those guys who don't know that something like that isn't appropriate so soon also tend to be problematic later on with not knowing what else isn't appropriate.

Alyssa9986 4 years 38 weeks

All I know is that every time that this has happened (about 4 times) I will say to myself: "Stop being so judgmental. He's nice." And EVERY dam* time, the guy ends up being a stalker to the 9th degree. I don't know, for me personally, waaaaaay wayy too much...then again, I'm single so maybe I should let the stalkers hang around a little more next time :)

pippins_halfling 4 years 38 weeks

I'm with Asia84. It totally depends on how I felt the date went.

itsme3683 4 years 38 weeks

I would give him the benefit of the doubt, at least for a while. I mean maybe he really is just that sweet and liked you that much or is old fashioned or something. If you go out a couple more times and he's weird then just call it off.

lickety split 4 years 38 weeks

why would my coworkers think ANYTHING? that part actually weirds me out more than the flowers and card. i don't like coworkers in my business.

Asia84 4 years 38 weeks

i would feel bad...he obviously liked me more than i liked him. i wouldn't find it creepy per se... i would still go on another date with him...it would depend. I usually get the vibes on the first date, so if they weren't there like that, then it usually doesn't work out. the second date would be out of boredom or giving him a chance since he's sweet...or both

Muirnea 4 years 38 weeks

I would like it,(romantic and refreshing like Fallen said) but I would back off from the relationship a little, b/c like others have said, it very likely might be a case of him falling to fast, to hard, like guys tend to do, and I wouldn't want to be to caught up in it and just hurt myself in the end.

Sun_Sun 4 years 38 weeks

well i think it depends. if i also liked him after that date and felt some kind of mutual chemistry i'd think 'aww how sweet'. but if i didnt think it went so well, id feel creeped out. its happened and i wouldnt even acknowledge the bouquet. left them right there outside my doorstep till they dried up and died MWAAAHAHAH :P

Marci 4 years 38 weeks

Well,..........it's kind of sad that so many of us find that someone sending roses and telling you they think you're amazing is construed as creepy. Sometimes people fall hard fast, which doesn't necessarily make them a stalker. I had a guy bring me the biggest bouquet of flowers I ever saw on a second date, when I was only thinking he was worth a second shot. I ended up having a very long relationship with him. However; I think my guard would also go up a little, but if I had enjoyed the first date, I'd go out with him again.

apothecary06 4 years 38 weeks

It would creep me out, and I've actually had something like this happen. A mutual friend set me up with this guy, and after we went out a couple of times (and it was pretty meh, IMO, we didn't have much in common), he starts calling me all the time, even when I didn't have time to talk. So then I had a talk with him, basically saying that even though he seemed like a nice guy, I have a pretty busy life of my own and his weird clingy behavior didn't exactly jive with that, especially given that we'd only been out twice. So guess what his next move was? He shows up at my workplace with a giant bouquet of flowers! Bear in mind that at that point I hadn't even told him where I work, so I'm more than a bit creeped out at the fact that he found out (probably through our friend, but still) - and worse, he'd completely missed the point of our previous conversation! That night, I told him that whatever thing we had was over.

princess_eab 4 years 38 weeks

It would creep me out a little - I've had too many bad experiences with guys who come on too strong - but I'd give him another chance. It's a nice gesture. (Though, see, here I go again with another guy who comes on too strongly.)

Jude C 4 years 38 weeks

Creepy! Run for the hills!

cubadog 4 years 38 weeks

I would slam on the brakes with this guy. Too hard too fast equals really annoying!

pjamgrl 4 years 38 weeks

He's either a player or desperate. I think a little thank you for the great date call or email with a I'll call you later this week to see if your available would be more normal.

GlowingMoon 4 years 38 weeks

Truthfully, my guard would go up a little. He may be falling too hard, too fast, and I don't feel the same way. Having a lovesick man fawning all over me is annoying, and it's a turn-off. However, I would be polite, and thank him for the flowers and note, but I would brake a little bit on the dating. I would do this to be more honest about my lukewarm feelings. Also, I don't want to lead him on. JMHO.

Fallen85 4 years 38 weeks

I think it would be romantic and refreshing so I'd go out with him again. If he started going from romantic and refreshing to controlling, obsessive and annoying I would dump him but maybe he was just trying to show me how fun and special I was to him. Just because it was a mediocre date for me doesnt mean it wasnt fabulous for him.

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