Handle This: Groped at a Bar

June 30, 2008

At a guy-free night out with a girlfriend, you two have planted yourselves at the bar to enjoy a few drinks and catch up on some much-needed girl talk. As the night wears on, the crowd around you thickens and you have to cozy up to your friend to hear her.

Neither of you are drunk, and you're both minding your own business when suddenly, a very inebriated man walks by and proceeds to stick his hand down your shirt. He gives your chest a quick fondle and then staggers off as if nothing happened. You’ve never been so violated, but you’re also in shock, so how do you handle this?

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43 Comments

JaimeLeah526 4 years 45 weeks

If he already walked off towards the door I think I'd just let him go out the door so he didn't try and do it again. I'd never go there again either and I'd never go out without a man especially to a place where drunk men are. If he wasn't on his way out the door I would backhand him so hard he'd be shitting out his teeth. Or like Janine said kick him in the crotch, that would definitely teach him.

JaimeLeah526 4 years 45 weeks

Janine22 4 years 46 weeks

He would either get a punch in the face, a drink in his face, or a kick in the crotch if I could manage it. I have had my ass grabbed by a guy in a bar once, he was with all his friends. I turned around and threw my beer in his face. His friends all laughed at him. It was pretty sweet.

silly_pickle 4 years 46 weeks

I've had the walk by butt-grab before - at a mall! I didn't react fast enough, but if this happened to me, I'd be swinging.

nikecold 4 years 46 weeks

See that's what I meant fluffyhelen, there's situations where you just can't turn into the karate kid and beat the guy up. But the times thing of this sort have happened to me and I had a the chance to react I've either slapped, kicked, punched, or cursed the idiot out.

bestfriendbritt 4 years 46 weeks

This actually happened to me a couple of years ago at a bar on Halloween. The crowd was really packed and he was right behind me, and he reached his hand under my skirt and gave my ass a full on grab. I turned around and screamed at him while knocking him down and hitting him in the back as he turned around... He was completely wasted and could barely stand up as is. So I shoved him outside (I've never ever ever laid a hand on anyone before) and there were a bunch of cops watching. They came up to me and said "what did he do to you??? do you want to press charges?." That was one of the good things about living in the South - the girl is always right when a man isn't being a gentleman. :) I didn't press charges but he definitely got what he deserved!

designerel 4 years 46 weeks

Ugh. I've never had my boobs grabbed like that but I've experienced the "drive by ass grab"-- you turn around and the guy is long gone. If I did catch him in the act though, he'd get a nice shove. And then I'd find security and get him kicked out. Boob grabs are a lot worse to me though.

RustyAngel73 4 years 46 weeks

I'm with bbkf. I'd be like 'omg wtf' to my friends, but I'd pretty much laugh and forget it if it was that situation. Of course, it'd be a different story if it was in another situation and prelude to a rape or something.

bbkf 4 years 46 weeks

Honestly, I would laugh and forget about it.

BRANDYNICOLE730 4 years 46 weeks

Inform a manager, security, or someone that will be able to prevent it from occuring to another female. I assume you were shocked enough to watch him walk away...

sparklestar 4 years 46 weeks

This happened to me recently. I was standing at the bus stop in the centre of town on a Friday night hugging my boyfriend and waiting for the bus home. A group of guys went past us (they were drunk) and one of them reached out, grabbed my ass and went "nice arse" and walked off. What do you do when it's a group of guys? My boyfriend tensed up ready to lay one on him but figured it wasn't going to be a fair fight if it was four against one. I'd never felt so violated and humilated before. I wasn't even dressed sexily... just my work clothes! :( I couldn't react with violence. All I could do was stare at the back of their heads walking off.

sparklestar 4 years 46 weeks

This happened to me recently. I was standing at the bus stop in the centre of town on a Friday night hugging my boyfriend and waiting for the bus home. A group of guys went past us (they were drunk) and one of them reached out, grabbed my ass and went "nice arse" and walked off.What do you do when it's a group of guys? My boyfriend tensed up ready to lay one on him but figured it wasn't going to be a fair fight if it was four against one.I'd never felt so violated and humilated before. I wasn't even dressed sexily... just my work clothes! :(I couldn't react with violence. All I could do was stare at the back of their heads walking off.

sundaygreen 4 years 46 weeks

SLAP!

sundaygreen 4 years 46 weeks

SLAP!

luckyme 4 years 46 weeks

Something similar to this happened to me in high school. He walked away with a bloody nose.

jodie_ohlala 4 years 46 weeks

Yeah I think violence would be a way to make a bad situation worse. This has happened to me and I just calmly told him to get away from me & had him thrown out.

mnp 4 years 46 weeks

I'm like bella. I'll make a huge scene, too. I don't feel like having to explain the situation to police officers or might even end up spending a night in prison.

snowbunny11 4 years 46 weeks

Well violence would be good in self-defense, but I wouldn't go chase down some guy just to hit him in revenge. Yeah, I'd push him away, if he was in my range, I'd make a scene, etc. but then I would get the bouncer. Seriously.

nikecold 4 years 46 weeks

This is difficult, I've been in similar situations once when I was 13 some guy just grabbed my boobs and I hit him on the back, I probably would've done more but my position didn't allow it. Later we became friends though. Then more than a few times (almost every time I go out) I've been harassed whether verbally or physically and in some cases I've had the chance to react. The thing is you can't just turn around and punch anyone, there's other things to consider, like is the crowd so big you could get lost, is this guy with other guys, is there security, is it in an open space, etc. That being said one time a drunk guy just sort of fell on me tried to hug me or whatever and I pushed him so hard he almost fell to the floor.

nikecold 4 years 46 weeks

POPSUGAR Beauty 4 years 46 weeks

I would make a huuuuuuuuge scene. What the hell, this guy just grabbed me, etc. I've done it before and I have no problem doing it again!

cmill38 4 years 46 weeks

i know at least one employee at most of the spots i frequent. i would prance my angry self over to someone and have the individual removed..and hopefully ban...from the establishment. it's quite embarassing as a college student to see that your name is up on a chalk board for everyone to see as being unable to enter a bar.

Berlin 4 years 46 weeks

I had this happen last night, only it was my to my ass:) But it was at the bar/club that I work at (I was there on my night off) and as a worker there, we know that if this happens to a girl and she's just coming in, you FIND THE SECURITY!! And they have no problem throwing them out on their ass. Which is exactly what they did to this creep. Too drunk guys that do this to women aren't buying any drinks. The women that they are doing this to will only get mad and either not drink or be upset and cause a stir, or leave. Do they want the hot women to stay in the club or do they want the drunk asshole?? Sexy women always win. Trust me, find security, let them know how violated you were and they will be gone. Because as a worker, when a girl "punches the guy in the face", no matter how drunk or sober she may be, she is always the one on the ground at the end of the night with handcuffs on, or she herself gets kicked out of the club at the least. ...so I'm just sayin:)

Berlin 4 years 46 weeks