I'm afraid I'm turning out just like my mother. All she ever did when I was growing up was nag at my father. I have been living with my boyfriend the past five months and so far so good, however, I've become a nag! All I do is complain and nit pick at his every move.
I am not just picking on "why don't you do the laundry," it's more like "why don't you do xyz in our relationship." I then become resentful when he doesn't change or doesn't do everything as I wish. I can't believe the person I've turned into and he can't either.
My boyfriend is really a great guy, I'm really happy with him in 90% of our relationship, but there are some things I want to change. He still wants to stick by me but I have a feeling he won't stay forever if I don't make an effort to rectify my attitude. What do I need to do? How do I stop being such a nag? Badgering Betsy
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Dear Badgering Betsy
Unfortunately, it is inevitable that some characteristics of our mothers will rub off on us as we get older, but luckily if you catch them in time, the ones you dislike, you can nip in the bud. It sounds like your nagging is stemming from some unhappiness you are feeling in your relationship.
What do you feel is missing on his part in your partnership? Does he push back when you speak up about your gripes? Since you have obviously taken the next step in your relationship by moving in together, I think it would be best to get to the bottom of that 10% that is making you dissatisfied in your relationship.
No one is perfect and every relationship has its ups and downs, so you need to figure out if you can live with your boyfriend even with his faults. People don't change, but you can work together to understand your differences and understand his intentions.