Alright Sugars, I'm dealing with something that I'd like to think everyone deals with at some point of another. I have a really close friend "John" who has been dating "Jane" for about six months. John and I have known each other for a few years; I've helped him through some major problems (drugs, depression, etc.). We are super close.
The two of us dating has never been on the table. When we were both single we may have cuddled up to watch a movie or something, but never anything more, and might I repeat, a relationship more than a close friendship has not been on the table. Jane is insecure, bottom line. She flips out if she finds out that we've been hanging out without her. The three of us do hang out sometimes and it's fun, but sometimes John and I need to talk about things alone . . . i.e. some of his issues from back in the day bother him and he knows she can't help, because she doesn't understand them. Or even for me, when I felt the need to harm myself, I knew he would be the only one who would understand . . . I don't feel like she needs to know the details of my life!!
He knows that it bothers me that we, in essence, "sneak" our friendship. He will tell her we've been hanging out if she asks, but if she doesn't . . . he doesn't volunteer that info. I feel like there is nothing that I can do to appease Jane other than stop hanging out with John which is not going to happen. I know that we aren't doing anything wrong when we are together, but she damn sure makes it feel that way!! So what can he or I do to make her realize that he and I are friends, we need to have our one-on-one time?