i woke up today completely heartbroken. i've been in a love triangle for almost a year with my boyfriend's friend. i know its a terrible terrible thing. first of all...i would never imagine myself to be someone who can do such a thing. second of all...i never condoned hooking up with an ex's friend let alone a boyfriend's friend. so i know what i've done is wrong. but over the course of the year...i came to realize that this guy is exactly what i've been missing in my life and has everything that is missing in my current boyfriend.
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he's just one of the best guys i've been lucky enough to have met. needless to say...i've fallen completely in love with him. i think i'm ready to breakup with my boyfriend. i should have done it awhile ago. he doesn't deserve this. but anyway...i come to find out that even if we (the friend and i) were to give it a go...things probably wouldn't work out because he'll be put in a situation where he has to choose between his friends and me. i don't want to put him in that situation...mainly because i feel i would lose. he's known his friends since college and have some of the closest bonds i've ever seen in a group. i know he cares about me and i know i truly love him. but what should i do now? should i just walk away? how can two people care about each other and not be able to end up together? i can actually see myself being with him in the long run.
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6ixty 8ight
No matter what, you should let your boyfriend go find someone who loves him and wants to be with him above all others. Don't keep him around as your consolation prize. As for his friend, you need to let some time pass. If you are truly meant to be together you will find a way.
1I've been on the other end of this kind of situation, and it's going to hurt him no matter what you do. You should let him go now and don't drag it out.. he doesn't deserve to be lied to and led on. If the relationship with his friend is meant to be, it will last. If not, then you just have to learn from it and move on.
2"how can two people care about each other and not be able to end up together?"
i've been in this same sitaution before and it sucks for everyone. you can only try and be honest and bear the consequences...
and hun, you're going to learn in life that relationships don't always end/fail because of lack of love/caring - usually it's other things that get in the way...
3Well first of all-if he does or does not want to make that leap to be with you-you shouldnt hold on to the guy that you are not in love with just to be with someone. That is quite heartless. Second, if this second guy is in a love triangle with you, he has already jepordized his friendship with your current boyfriend. There is responsibility in that and if he cannot take his part in it, then he may not quite be that stand up guy you think he is. If you all are meant to be-it will happen. Time can be quite helpful in this situation as well.
4look it's cath: you are so right.
I also agree with kendalheart: don't hold on to a guy you know you don't go for anymore. it's unfair to him.
having said that: I do think that in time, the two of you could end up together if you're really meant to. But there's no way to rush this. Break up with your current bf, get over that. Then slowly see if the two of you can be more than friends. Perhaps you only like him now because you need an excuse to break up with your man, of because you do not want to be alone if you do. Good luck
5I'm sorry but he can't be "the greatest guy" if he's so good at lying to one of his best friends. And you can't possibly be a good girlfriend to either of them if you think cheating is alright. Take some time off from dating, and figure yourself out before you try to figure out any more relationship issues.
6I'm not sure if you're speaking in absolutes for dramatic emphasis, but I will say that I seriously doubt that this guy is “everything missing from your life and your current boyfriend.” I think you are seeing this guy through rose colored glasses since you know you can’t have him.
If you feel that there is a lot missing from your life and your relationship, you need to spend some time being single to sort those issues out, particularly the former and more important issue of what’s missing from your life.
7I think you should let your boyfriend go and if you and the 'friend' are meant to be you will work. The fact that the friend is with his buddies girlfriend should show how little he cares about his friends feelings...so you could win the battle after all. If your boyfriend finds out he will most likely kick his friend to the curb too. I hope everything works out for you. Just remember "if it is meant to be, it will be."
8Wow. Well, firstly I feel really sorry for your boyfriend because he's got a girlfriend AND a friend who have been lying to him for a year. With friends like that, who needs enemies!
That being said - and it had to be said - life is short, and we sometimes fall for people who aren't optimally aligned in the strata that everyone likes to run their life. Meaning: We sometimes fall in love with people who being with will hurt other people. It happens.
If you and this guy really are it for each other, c'est la vie. Go for it. Finding that perfect partner is much harder than finding new friends. IF you are really THE one for each other.
The thing I can't get on board with is the lying for a year. What was the point of that? If you have any shred of decency at all, break up with your boyfriend. He deserves an honest relationship.
9Being a bystander it's easy for me to stay: Walk out without neither of them.
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