Hes just got problems with confronting his emotions. and guess what? ALL men are like that You need to sit him down and work out a plan. If you guys fight, you should have a routine almost, like, ok, we fight, sit down talk about what we are REALLY fighting over then work it out. Try not to scream, yell, insult or anything like that, it tends to just make it worst. Also tell him that when he says "its over" it hurts you cause it makes you feel like he can drop you any minute and not care, at least thats how i would feel. GOod luck!

Hes just got problems with confronting his emotions. and guess what? ALL men are like that You need to sit him down and work out a plan. If you guys fight, you should have a routine almost, like, ok, we fight, sit down talk about what we are REALLY fighting over then work it out. Try not to scream, yell, insult or anything like that, it tends to just make it worst. Also tell him that when he says "its over" it hurts you cause it makes you feel like he can drop you any minute and not care, at least thats how i would feel. GOod luck!

Here's a suggestion: say it to him and actually mean it then get rid of his immature butt and find yourself someone mature enough to handle the arguments without all the unnecessary drama.You deserve better than that. Good Luck!

So if he doesn't get his way he's taking his game and going home?

Tell him (when you're not fighting) that you can't live your life with a sword over your head. When he says something like that, he'd better mean it. If he says it again, don't pick up the phone when he calls. Living like that isn't living.

I'd make his wish come true and end it, that would of been the last time I'd have to hear this jerk tell me it's over!

I hate to say this, but I actually used to do this with my boyfriend. Often we would fight to the point where I wouldn't want to speak to him or even look at him, and I'd get so frustrated that I'd just blurt out we should break up. It's taken a while to get over using this tactic because I know it doesn't work for either of us. He accepted that I was a difficult person and worked through it with me, and now we rarely fight and I definitely don't go that route anymore. Your guy obviously has some issues he needs to work out but you can help him through it. Just be honest and keep your chin up

When you're both calm, sit down and talk it over with him. If he still yells "it's over!" whenever he's not happy with something, maybe it's time to move on to someone a little more mature and willing to work out the problems rather than stomping home and sulking.

My BF of 10 years did this all the time years ago when we were both young and immature. I got very sick of it. I decided that instead of getting bent out of shape and falling for his crappy "it's over" bull, I made it perfectly clear to him that he was more than welcome to leave since he felt that our relationship wasn't worth dealing with the problem at hand and talking things over.

Come to find out he didn't want to leave, he just wanted me to feel bad so that he could turn the argument around, so he could storm away and then come back when everything was peachy and all he had to do was say sorry I love you because by then I was afraid he was leaving me and had forgotten about what we were initially fighting about.

Needless to say...he doesn't do that anymore since the time I took it upon myself to pack his things for him right after he said it. Your BF is using this against you to basically shut you up and not have to deal with an argument.

This happened to me with my ex. Remember, every situation is different.

He would say this to me so I would break up with him for it, or actually agree to it. He didn't have the balls to just break up with me. He didn't want people to think that he was the bad guy. He wanted that all on me.

I found out a couple days after he said "It's Over" for about the 80th time that he had been cheating on me. So, I picked all my stuff, threw his stuff on his front porch, and never talked to him again.

My boyfriend is the same way, but he's gotten better. We used to go out drinking a lot and that was part of the problem (we'd have terrible fights) and he would say "if you hang up the phone, it's over!". Afterwards, he couldn't believe he said it because he was under the influence and would have been devastated if I took him up on it at the time. As for your guy, take him up on it sometime-- honestly. He'll learn his lesson.

Show stoppers!

Some guys just don't want to deal with an arguement. My boyfriend tends to pull this one out of his hat when I'm being seriously emotional about something or he doesn't know how to deal with it. Then he doesn't need to apologise for what he's done wrong because I'm already freaking out about him saying it's over.

When my boyfriend and I started dating and got in fights he would say "I can't take this anymore!" and once or twice we broke up in the heat of the moment. It's for guys who really suck with stress and aren't mature enough to deal with the situation like a man.

I agree 100% with ReverendZelda.

He sounds like a giant baby. Crap like that might be tolerable in junior high, but you're a grown up now. I suggest losing the excess baggage.

"It's over!" Hahaha Sorry, but that sounds too corny. Tell him he needs to find another way to express what he feels a last time and if he still says the same thing, pack your bags and leave for a while. See what he says "then".

It's so time to break up! Do you really want to stay with him, get married and then have him threaten divorce all the time? You deserve someone who is mature enough to stick things out without threatening to leave or saying it's over everytime things get hard. And this is only two years in! The problems are just going to get worse and worse...

I'm not proud of it, but I started saying similar things and it totally back fired on me; it's not right to shove something like ending a relationship in someone's face. I have since stopped saying such things (and I'm still w. the same guy).

I actually used to do the same thing with my boyfriend, and it truly goes back to how you were raised to handle disputes. If you don't handle arguments well and aren't used to just communicating an argument that doesn't result in ending it all, it just seems like the thing to do. I remember a few months back coming to that "aha!" moment and i was speaking to my mom about it all, saying how finally I got to the point where I can realize that arguing is OK and that you don't have to say "we're through" at the end of it. You can just argue or dispute or go to your separate corners to work off steam, but that you can keep mum about the breaking up part. Again it's just a bad habit that some people have and it takes quite a bit to get rid of it, and the only way it will stop is if you be honest with him about how much you don't like it, how much you don't actually want to break up if you two just are arguing, and that he really needs to make an effort to stop- b/c it won't stop on it's own!

Good luck!

Berlin - I really like your non-judgmental input/explanation, and I very much agree with you.

My ex pulled this on me so many times but couldn't leave and being immature and unexperienced as I was, I accepted him back, even FOUGHT to get him back again and again. I think that's what he wanted, to know that he could hold that against me every time he's in an argument that obviously stemmed from his wrongdoing. So it's not about learning to argue/compromise, it's become him 'winning' argument by holding the "It's over/done" on me.

I hope you're not doing what I did I was a complete doormat when I accepted him back and begged him to stay.

But thankfully, I grew up and finally told him don't let the door hit his @$$ on the way out. And now I'm very happy without him! Some people need growing up and it's not your job to help them grow up.

I honestly think that he wants to break up with you but is just taking the coward's way out(enabling you to do it instead). And you should, this isn't funny, this is immature and definitely sets thew precedent for how things will be. Someone who doesn't respect your feelings is not someone that you should be handing your feelings to. Your neither a child or a moron, don't let anyone treat you like this.

yes, my boyfriend and i have this same problem. but i think it is more that he is just insecure not so much that he just wants to break up w me and doesn't have the balls. whenever we fight he goes immediately into the "i can live without you" mode, and says things that he totally doesn't mean. (including, "its over") and it's just to protect himself. i know for a fact that he has fought with every other gf the same way. it's a HUGE problem for me. in fact, i would say that is the only problem in our relationship. how we fight is not healthy. lately, we have been trying to work through this by not letting things get so out of hand and we reach a breaking point. we also have been using a "safe word" that tells us both when it is getting out of hand. we use "ZEN" to remind us to just chill out and nothing is as bad as it seems. i know how hard this is, and hurtful. but ultimately, you need to realize that it is his own insecurity and you need to be stronger and not deal with it, because it is unacceptable. i am not sure if this is something i can deal with for the rest of my life (like, what if we get married and he is always saying "its over" or "i want a divorce") it is so unhealthy and hurts both of us. hopefully things will get better, and i will hope that for you too. xo.

i also totally agree w Berlin. from his side. i just think it was how he was taught to communicate. he also confessed to me that his mom used to say that to his dad whenever they used to fight...so unhealthy. but if you really want to be w him it is ok to work through it, relationships are hard. just make sure he knows that it's not ok to treat you like that.

Completely agree with Berlin.

This is not a breakupable offense- this is just a guy who doesn't know how to fight or express his anger.

My fiance and I fought very unfairly at first, and he would say things that hinted at breaking up. After the argument settled I would tell him, "You can NOT say things like that during fights. I don't care how mad you are." I explained to him that it makes it sound like his love for me is conditional, and that - if true - is unacceptable and reason for a real breakup. He realized I was right, and has been working on it. We always address it if he slips up and does it, but I have to remember he's working on it, too. (Basically, I wouldn't threaten to breakup with him the next time he says it, but talk to him about how much it hurts/frustrates you and how you perceive it. If he cares for you, he'll [hopefully] understand and work on it.)

I have the EXACT same problem...only he's supposed to be my fiance...

I don't think he's an *sshole or anything.
He most likely just feels hurt and wants to defend himself but doesn't know how.

When he says "it's over", he might just want to hear you say "I love you, don't go". He might just want to feel that you care.

Give him the benefit of the doubt, but also do talk with him and tell him exactly how much it hurts you to hear that he wants to give up your relationship every time you argue.

my ex used to fight with me like that he used to say "what- you want to break up?" instead dealing with whatever issue we were fighting about and i would give in and say no, i don't want to break up, so we wouldn't and we wouldn't get anything resolved. this went on for a while until he pulled that again and I said yeah, i do want to break up. talk about foot in mouth. he was sorry but he couldn't settle an argument without threatening me so that was that.

My boyfriend did it couple of times. I got very upset about each time and then I just told him that it hurts. I explained to him that i hate it when he says it and one day I am just not going to be there. Your boyfriend has hard time dealing with his emotions and to get away he just says that its over. Now when my boyfriend or me are upset I write it down and give it him and he sometimes responds inn writing and sometimes he talks about it. We have problem communicating but we are slowly getting through it. When you get into fight just tell himto cool off and then talk about whatever the fight was about.