if i were her and anything more was said..i would feel like i was being called fat.... does she really NEED to lose the 10 lbs? if she complains anymore... i would stick with the "that stinks dude" approach... you've already given her a little advice...unless she outright asks for more.. i would stay away..weight is too touchy..

I agree with 1hotmess, pushing too much could be a disaster. Maybe you should suggest you two workout together for motivation or eat something healthy or even that she could check out the restaurant's menus online before she goes out so she can really make a good choice, but even that you should approach carefully... It totally depends if she's EVER asked you for advice or if she just likes rant about those "extra lbs" with you.
I'm also a fitness enthusiast but the only one that ever listens to me is my SO whenever he's trying to lose weight for a trip to the beach or whatever. Mostly I just stick with being a good example and some people just pick up on eating almonds for snacks or whatever and start asking questions that you can help with.

Sounds like she's fishing for compliments - not diet tips. Change the subject next time she brings it up.

maybe only give advice if she asks.

one of my friends always complains about her weight but has horrendous eating habits. I don't say anything because I just know it would come across wrong -- she would interpret it as criticism and not that I'm actually interested in helping her.

I think 1cigarette gave good advice: see if you can work out together and be a good example.

I'd say only give advice if she asks...woman are very delicate with weight. Although, if it were me I'd hope my friends would help me out. But then again, I'm do not lack confidence and don't care if people said I was fat. Giving people diet "tips" isn't calling people fat. I can't stand women sometimes...

Eh, there needs to be an edit comment feature... i always have a mass amount of typos in my responses/comments. Oh well.

If she doesnt ask for advice about losing weight, dont give her any. If she does, than give her some pointers but in your point of view example "I tend to eat smaller meals throughout the day, you could try that!" or "I have found that its better to bring a lunch from home rather than eat out or ordering in"

Yeah, weight is a tricky one. I've found that even when people ask for advice, they usually don't want it. Since I've maintained some serious weight loss for almost 10 years, my boyfriend came to me for dieting advice after he had noticed that he had put on some pounds. I just gave him a few brief pointers and suggested a few things to change (all of which he claimed he "knew") and then offered to help him make healthier choices when grocery shopping. He said that sounded great. Then, when I would actually DO that, he'd get super offended. The same thing went for exercise tips, too.

CG offers a great PR solution--using your own point of view can really soften the blow and take your friend off the defensive. You could even disguise your own opinion through saying something like, "I just read something about how foods high in sodium can cause waterweight gain. I wonder if it's true." Engaging her will force her to commit to an idea and that may help it sink in. Just make sure to be objective and gentle.

I agree with the stock photo. Just walk up to her and say "Tomato?"

Do you two eat lunch together? Maybe she could learn through example?

Lol fallen!

I have a friend just like hers and honestly I get tired of saying the same things over and over to her when she complains about not being able to lose weight. I've given up with giving my advice (even though I've been successful at managing my weight for years), I ended up suggesting a professional consultation. She still thinks her way is better even though she hasn't made any lasting progress. Oh well.

no offense but some of you sound like you would do the opposite of what id want my friends to do. If this friend is indeed a true friend than you could tell her that you dont really think she needs to loose any weight, but if she really wants to that you could give her some tips. maybe offer her some healthy food when you have it, or do more physical things with her. Just be a good friend about it, and for gods sake dont give up on her.

Does she actually look like she should/needs to lose 10 pounds? Because if she's obsessive about it and is of normal weight, that's not healthy.

Don't give her diet "tips". It really does come across as "you're fat, do this!"

Unless you know her REALLY well, and know her eating habits backwards and forwards [just meeting her for a lunch or a dinner isn't enough - she may be eating healthy any other time and uses your time together to *enjoy* food!], then maybe you could offer her some healthier options that YOU like and that she might want. Or, even better, make more of your activities with her centered around exercise/being active and less around food and drinks. That's not as insulting, and she may find she's lost the weight once she finds something healthy she likes to eat, or an activity she likes to do that you've introduced her to.

You should *always* try to sympathize with her... something like, "Yeah it's hard when you don't see the scale going down" or "Gotta hate it when you hit the plateau." Really she's looking for some confidence-boosting and reassurance, I'd bet.

I also don't think it hurts to suggest working out together, and you could always be each other's coach and push harder than usual. I also like pioneer's suggestion of saying, "I read this article that said..." You could also go with the line, "You know, muscle mass weighs more than fat, perhaps you're building muscle."

In the end, though, it's pretty easy to find nutrition, exercise, and weight loss tips. You can give her all the advice she asks for, but she's not going to change her eating habits until she's good & ready.

I don't know why I didn't think of this first -- just ask her if she wants advice, or just wants you to listen. Then you can be a good friend and give her exactly what she needs.

rofl @ Fallen!!

Honestly, she's making it your business by complaining about her weight!

I think sympathizing is a good strategy but you could also drop some hints every now and again.

Or you can do what EvilDorkGirl suggested and just ask!

my friend bugs me like that all the times. the things is i'm 30lbs overweight, and she is perfect. sometimes too skinny.and still every conversation we have she talks about losing weight. she eats A LOT, a eat like a bird and still can't lose my weight and she is always like "oh my god you don't eat anything... how come you're not losing it?" so yeah, it annoys me that she's beent alking about it for 7 years now and just tell her to shut the f*ck up sometimes )) sometimes i support her and advice, but if i'm not in the mood i just tell her and i tell her if she's doing something wrong. you're friends, so what can't you say it to her? she brought up the subject, so it's OK. if it's not and she freaks out you can always appologise and tell her to stop overreacting )

I would avoid giving her any advice when it comes to her food. Chances are, if she's eating badly, she knows about it (when I'm on a junk food kick, I sure do). Giving somebody diet tips to lose weight will almost always end badly, unless she asks you specifically about it.

As far as exercise goes, though, I have never been insulted by somebody I'm working out with giving me tips, and I think my workout buddies feel the same way. I mean, it's different if you're working out and some random stranger tells you you're doing it wrong (and that is truly seriously annoying), but if you go with her, just be like, "I like to do these types of exercises" or "I usually do those like this", because a lot of times the actual working out part can be hard if you feel like you don't know what you're doing

My coworker does this. Very annoying. I watch her stuff her face all day then have to listen to her whine about how she eats absolutely nothing all day and is gaining weight. I have gently called her out on it and she immediately got defensive so now I just ignore her when she brings up anything to do with weight or food. It depends on your friends personality and whether or not she is in denial about her eating habits. Some people you can be bluntly honest with and others can't take it. Nobody likes to feel like they are doing something wrong so point out some positives first then ease into the constructive criticism if that's the route you choose to take.

My good friend is always 'trying to lose 10 more lbs.' And she looks just fine the way she is. What I usually do is NOT give advice unless ASKED by her. And I'd be telling her 'Oh you look just fine.' But I participated in exercising with her (the gal is exercise maniac ) because she asks me to, which is cool.

I would just go up to her and say "don't eat crap. This is why the scale doesn't budge!"

I do it to my partner, so I also do it to my friends.

I would recommend some items that you enjoy...for example say to your friend, "I just love the taste of these new sea salt almonds, wanna try some?" or "this tomato is delicious, i've been eating one every day this week because they're so good!" then you are not only showing by example, but not making it about her weight, you're just sharing your food!

~~~~~

The man who speaks to you of sacrifice, speaks of slaves and masters. And intends to be the master.

if she brings up a sensitive subject she should be prepared to take the advice. there are no short-cuts and eating healthy is a must.

I'll do this to my friends...
One of them eats a whole bag of crisps *family size*, a pot of hummus and washes it down with a chocolate bar every day because they're all "gluten free". Um... and also 2000 calories worth of lunch?

So when we were in the supermarket and he was buying his crap I was like "you know that whole meal comes to your daily allowance of calories?" "NAH hummus doesn't have any calories in!" "try 500 per pot". I think he just genuinely didn't understand how calories relate to weight gain!

Maybe this is the case?!