Been there.
It was tough and heartbreaking.
But looking back on it, I NOW don't regret my decision of ending my relationship with my first long-term bf (like you, we were together for 4 years from I was about 16). I needed the break up to grow up and be independent.

Sure, there were small regrets especially when you dated that jerk from Hall C or if you ended up sleeping with the wrong dude or when you have no one around who really 'knows' you when you're facing some career disappointment, and whatever. Those are inevitable.

But, you need to do what you need to as an individual too. Don't you think he deserve someone who's going to fully commit to him with full heart? You're incapable of doing that now, so just do what's right. And don't even try to pussyfooting it by saying you need a 'break.' I HATE that term. SO unfair and ridiculous. A break up is best if you don't know what you want from the relationship and you can't see your future with the guy.

I wish I had broken up with my college boyfriend...then I wouldn't have had to divorce him thirteen years later.

Break up with him and say to him exactly what you wrote in your post. He'll be hurt but in the end, he'll understand. He's probably had the same feelings.

Good luck

"Don't fall for someone who's not willing to catch you"

I agree with the last 3 posters just because it will work out in the end but i went through the same thing about 5 years ago when i broke up with my boyfriend in college for the same reasons. he was wonderful but i felt like i was missing something in my life (mainly the experiences that come from being single) after i broke up with him i pretty much regretted it until i met my current boyfriend. i dated other guys after him but i felt like none of them compared to him. I'm not one to ever regret anything i do. i'd rather make mistakes and learn from them rather than everything just being safe all the time and never learning anything.

i would seriously weigh in on the pro's and con's of breaking up with your boyfriend. I wish i had put more thought into it back then rather than just saying we needed to break up. maybe what you need is a break. either way always be honest with him and tell him how youre feeling but definitely don't burn your bridges with him if you aren't sure that you want to completely separate for good, because if you break up with him, i'm sure he will be hurt and won't want to be around you, and you've already said you don't want to think about him not being in your life.

its definitely a hard situation to be in and maybe you both need to do a little bit of compromising and maybe a break and some time apart will allow u to reevaluate your relationship and feelings for eachother. good luck.

You're smart and normal to be thinking about what you want. If it were me I'd break up with him and experience anything/everything I wanted.

It sounds like you're with him out of obligation. That's not good. You'll come to resent him. You're already feeling that way. Sure you'll miss him and wonder if you made the right decision. You'll regret not experiencing everything life has to offer more. I know that's a cliche', but it's true.

Be free and live each day as if it was your last. (Another true cliche')

There's nothing wrong with not wanting to be in a relationship any more. Tell him your relationship has ended and that you need to experience single life. Hell, you're only 20 or 21. Your whole life is ahead of you. Don't let guilt or habit convince you to stay.

People very rarely stay with their first love, it's totally normal to have these feelings - simply put because you're growing up.

I think if you want to go out and f**k other guys at least have the conviction to say it, not only to yourself, but to your boyfriend as well. (obviously not in those words) But I really don't understand it when people say they need to "experience" things, last time I checked you could still experience life while being in a relationship. What it comes down to is that you no longer want to be in your relationship (which there is nothing wrong with) but just have the guts to admit.

I don't know what is the best thing to do in this situation. I think it's normal to have doubts when you're in a long term relationship. Everyone wonders if single life is more exciting, and wants to experience dating, not just being a girlfriend. You're also at a turning point in your life. Graduating you'll have all sorts of options and excitement going on, and you may feel it's time for a change. It could just be a phase, and not mean anything. But it could also mean you are ready to move on. A lot of people with high school sweethearts feel like they never got a chance to be single and be themselves. Maybe you need to give yourself this opportunity. The consensus here seems to be that you should break up with him. I think that might be the right choice, but I don't know. Think about how long you've been having these doubts and what they mean. Think about what your life would be like without him. Also, why are you bored? Maybe you or your boyfriend has been neglecting the other a bit, and it's time to have a talk to get things back on track.

I know what your going through and I'm sure most of us do! I needed space from my ex so I called it off but when I did I ran into this super nice wonderful man that took nothing but pride in me! We dated for at least a yr. and then he wanted to see someone else so if you think about it there's pros and cons to this situation. For your best interest I would get some space just to see if this is what I want b/c you could be making a mistake. When you hit college life you do see more option's that could lead you to a world of fun but it all could crumble right in front of you! Just do whats right for you b/c if the tables were turned then he may be calling it quites!

Guess everyone has felt this way before with their first love. I broke up with mine after spending half of college with him and the end of high school. I hope you don't regret being with him throughout the entire college experience. I don't regret being with my ex, but I do wish I would have ended it sooner because I would have had more time to do all of the fun stuff I am experiencing now! It will hurt a lot A TON when it is over, but trust me and everyone else on here, it gets WAY better! Don't settle!

It's absolutely normal. Also, one grows up and changes quite a bit between 16 and 20, so it's absolutely not surprising that you might have grown away from him.

At this point in your life, I'd advise following your heart, breaking up with him, and experiencing single life if that's what you want. And it sounds as if it is. It will be difficult and sad, but worth it for you.

OK, I'm 32 years old and have experienced as my mom states about 70 years in those 32. My advice is to go be single and try new things. At your age, you haven't really found yourself yet. In order to decide what you want, you have to explore the world. You will go through several changes throughout your life and it seems to me like while both you and your boyfriend are growing, you are growing in differing ways. I would not be the person I am today if I had stayed tied to my first love from high school. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about wanting to try new things. I disagree with the post that you want to sleep around with other men. Just because you want to date around and see what the world has to offer doesn't mean that you are cheap or wrong! I got married about your age. We split up and then he died. We were not happy. We had changed entirely too much. I remarried at 31 and it has made all of the difference because I got the chance to explore life and mature. To stay in a stagnant relationship for comforts sake is robbing yourself. Trust me, I know!

normal. you are young. experience life.

one of my colleague, dated his HS sweetheart for 4 years, then broke it off (broke her heart of course) They didn't have any contact for 6 years, then one day he called her. two weeks later they were engaged. now they have three beautiful daughters and life happily for more than 10 yrs.

so my point is anything happen, just do what you want to do. life is short

These feelings are really normal and the best thing to do is shake things up with the boyfriend and see if that helps. I don't know how often you get to see each other but plan something really fun and see how it goes. If you still find yourself bored then you should really consider getting out of the relationship since it seems to have run it's course.

i think that you have a lot of life changes going on and if you're not 100% into your relationship now, then you should think long and hard about whether it's the right thing for you or if you should be single. i know that there are a lot of people who have met and married their high school sweethearts but that doesn't mean that everyone is like that. i feel like maybe if you're bored and not as into it, maybe it means that you've grown and matured from the person that you were when you were in high school, and that being single and being open to new relationships would be a good thing for you.

If you stay with your bf just because you can't imagine life without him, then you might end up regretting it in the long run. You say you feel like you should explore being single-- then by all means, do it! If you guys are meant to be, you will find each other again.