Gonna sound corny but my best advice...and I've been completely single for 4years (basically)...is one day at a time.

Might help to get some hobbies and learn how to go out on your own, i.e. movies, shopping, museums, etc. The more you do things on your own, the more you will get used to it. I know a lot of women that fear being single end up in one destructive relationship after the next, try not to fall in that trap - just figuring out what you want and learn how to be alone. Men come and men go, you're not always going to have people in your life.

Look into meetup.org. I'm totally in the same situation as you, but luckily I'm in school so it's been easy to meet new people. Also, I know this sounds weird but try eharmony or match. I've heard they work (my aunt has been married for 5 years now after using it and one of my best friends has met a few guys on it).

Also, something I've realized. I'm not over my ex and in no place to date so I'm focusing on meeting new people (friends) and getting back into hobbies I forgot about when I was dating him. You never know... the right guy might come along when you least expect it.

You just went through some major changes . . .don't worry about what might happen down the road. I lived in a foreign country for a year and a half, moved to Los Angeles, still ended up traveling and going to grad school. Like the first person said, take it one day at a time.

Don't waste your time and money on anyone else, at least for a little while, except for yourself. I'm not going to presume to tell you that you're not ready, because only you can answer that question. It just seems that you need to take the time to figure out where you want your life to head. You must figure out what you want from life, before you can include others in that. I'm not saying doing be with anyone else. By all means, try to make some friends. Just don't settle and jump into a relationship right away, unless you feel it out first, or know it's something you may be ready for and want. You're single! Being with someone is great, but it's fun being a free agent. You have so much more time for yourself, and if you ever decided to more of plan a future goal for yourself, it's all about you, and noone else but you.

I think you just need to make yourself less vulnerble so build up your network of friends and pick up new or old hobbies where you are able to meet new people and make more friends (high heat yoga or golf... etc.) and when you have a new network of support, you will miss your old network less and slowly ease into your environment. After you are more stable (know your surroundings more, have set activities and friends to hang out) in the new city, you will feel more comfortable with yourself and the thought of being single or remaining single forever will less likely to re-surface. When you are more comfortable with your new city, you will attract the right guy when the timing is right. You just have to believe that 1) you have just moved to a new city and it is normal to feel some fear and uncertainty. 2) It is important to develop yourself and focus on what you need first (i.e. develop your career first and money for grad school and other travel plans will come in time) and 3) there are right guys out there for you and you will meet him when the timing is right (when both of you are ready). 4) You deserve to have support and network of friends wherever you go and you can re-create what you have in your home town. The new networks can never replaced your old networks but if they would be essential to sustain you when you are away from home. Hope I help. Best.

Try joining a new group or club that makes you feel empowered, maybe its a kickboxing class or a society where you express your views in opinions. You'll meet new people and feel totally awesome after every meeting. Feeling great about yourself and being comfortable with being single will make it much harder for you to settle for the wrong guys.

New hobbies - even gym goals can help! Do you have any alumni organizations in your new city you could join? Put yourself out there with things that you already have connections to.

GF, you are depressed. Participate in activities you enjoy and will get you mingling with new people. Keep striving for your goals. The ones that are meant to be will happen. Never settle!!! Sometimes we forget this, we're in charge of our own happiness. Get out there and get what you want!

This letter could have been written by me. I'm in a different situation, I've come out of not a long term romantic relationship, but a 6 month intense one with a male therapist who made a huge impact on my life. Our time together has now ended and I'm finding myself feeling very lost and unsure of my place in this world. The work we did together made me realize that a lot of people in my world aren't very healthy for me-- so that makes me feel quite alienated, in addition to that however, I'm scared of dating and being vulnerable. I'm just not in the mindset right now to do it.

The advice to do things for yourself and not put pressure on yourself to find another relationship to fill that void is a great one. Just do things that you enjoy and that will help build up your trust in yourself (and your surrounding support system).

You sound a little depressed You need to stop worrying about being single forever (that's just silly) and try to refocus yourself on your dreams and aspirations. Build a new life where you are, meet people, take action. One day at a time - it takes a while to make a new place home and find your marks, so don't be too hard on yourself. Try to go towards things you like - join clubs for your favorite hobbies and you will meet people, make friends, and maybe even a nice guy some time in the near future! But the most important thing right now is taking care of the foundations of YOU, in that new place. Concentrate on taking care of yourself. That was my shrink's advice, and it's a darn good one! Love will come when it comes; mostly, unexpectedly! Maybe try to have a friend or close family member visit you soon, and show them around town - you'll get to appreciate your new surroundings, find new spots you'll like to hang out, and make warm, cosy memories with someone you know and are comfortable with in this new setting. You'll find your way, just give it time. And the same goes for love... Good luck!

i have to agree with the advice to check out things online for where you can meet up with different people with similar interests in the area. think about it this way - if you're feeling this way about not having many friends in the area and that you want to do all these different activities, then there's most likely someone else out there who feels the EXACT same way. i think that you'll find that after you've settled in more...you'll start to find that it's a bit easier. hang in there, and save some money and hopefully you'll be able to take some time off at some point to travel a bit more...and think about the grad school thing - a LOT of companies will help finance it for you - so look into that with your current employer.

First of all WELL DONE for moving!!!!!! I live in a big city myself. It can be really loney honey. I think ilanac13 is right above. You just focus on filling your days with various activities and you WILL BE FINE! Go to museums (if they have any). The next you know..you're going to the movies alone and actually you are having a fantastic time! I am rooting for you girl

By the way do you do yoga? I highly recommend it if u are down. It helps to lift your mood

i don't really have anything to say that the others haven't said, except you're not the only one who feels this way. i am there/have been there too, except in another country. make sure you at least attempt to begin every day positively. i also say make little goals for yourself everyday that are working towards one big goal. for me personally, i had to change a few of my goals around that had started to shape more around the person i was seeing.

just think, a new city means there is always something/someone new for you to discover.

I agree with all of the above. It seems that you are focusing on the negative things about your move, start thinking about the positive. I know it sounds trite, but really, sometimes making a list of the positive can really bring home the point...you are young, in a new city, new opportunities, new adventures. You just need to make a start, a small start, be it a yoga class, joining a club of your interests, dating online, whatever. Look at this as the beginning of a whole new life...it doesn't mean you forget your old one or the people that were important to you in your past, it is just a new phase.

I think of life in layers...people come in and out of your life, and ultimately help you discover the kind of person you are. Just because they may not be in your life right now, doesn't mean they are not important and are forgotten. They helped you build the foundation of your life. Now it is time to continue building.

Sorry so long winded...to much Chardonnay!