You're not going crazy. It's partly true that when you're in love you probably want to spend all the time in the world with that other person, should you? No. Everyone needs their time, time with family, time with friends, and time alone period. Without that, you lose who you really are as an individual. I gave/am giving my gf her space, and she called me earlier after class and basically told me that me understanding and respecting that she needs some space, and that I was giving her that space made her even more in love with me. Everyone needs their space to be themselves.

this guy sounds really insecure if he cannot let her be by herself for a single minute without questioning her motives. Alone time in a relationship is VITAL. It's good for your relationship as well as your sanity..otherwise we'd be tearing at each others throats all the time.

He's controlling and will likely be an abuser, if he isn't already.

Agree with luisa...guy is a control freak. I shudder to think what happens in that house when she disagrees with him, if she ever does.

Of course you can truly love someone and still want time away from them. That is healthy, having your own interests and individuality is important to you and helps keep the relationship fresh, if it is a normal one.

Wonder if this guy had parental abandonment issues as a youngster...he seems deathly afraid of being left.

Hmm...not a healthy relationship, this guy has issues!!

Of course you can truly love someone and want time away from them, that is normal! I agree with Luisa, he sounds controlling and abusive. In fact, not allowing your partner time away is not healthy! She needs to make this clear to him or end it. Unfortunately, she doesn't seem to realize how controlling and manipulative he is being.

Oh trust me, she realizes, it's hard not to, she's just being passive and accepting it. If they live together, she needs to move out. She doesn't not need to explain where she's going or who she's going out with. If she does, it's because it's a courteous thing to do in a relationship, but at this point, I don't blame her for just walking out the door without even a bye. Does he stay home all the time and wait for her or something? Or is this a double standard where he can do whatever, but she can't? This is just beyond clingy and controlling. This is already in the abusive realm if you ask me. She's already started to get emotionally drained at this point. She needs to get out and get her own space before she loses her individuality.

control issues.

Issues issues issues. Big huge issues.

Like others have mentioned I would be concerned for your friend's safety. A man that possessive is that much more likely to be abusive psychically in addition to the clearly emotional abuse he's already doing.

She needs to cut him loose.

i agree with luisamapacha . while it might seem like a bold statement without knowing a lot of details, having been in an abusive relationship myself there small red flags you can see. this is one of them. while alone time is important to have with eachother, not allowing your SO to spend time with his or her friends is unnecessary, controlling and could just be a small glimpse at bigger problems in the relationship. she needs to get rid of him!

Pretty much echoing everyone else. This guy sounds like a possessive bastard. Who knows where this will escalate to if they get married. The fact that he had to tell her she should want to spend all her time with him should let her know where the truth is. Some couples are best friends and romantic partners. They hung out all the time before they were dating so it only seems as if they are separated at the hip with no friends, but that is their choice and everyone deserves to have the opportunity for alone time.

to be honest, i love my boyfriend A LOT and i do want to spend all my time with him. when i'm out on a girls' night, if he rolled into that bar, i would be thrilled. and by the end of a night with the girls, i'm dying to go home to him or, if that's not happening, i always anticipate his call and get butterflies hearing his voice. that's the way it is for me. but it doesn't mean i don't also need my girlie time! the best of both worlds is when he hangs with my best friends' boyfriends watching sports while i get girlie time over on the other side of the room!

BUT spending a night out with the girls is still important, i still do it, and he WANTS me to do it. he also does it with his guys...sometimes more than me, because my girls live kinda far away. you shouldn't ditch all your friends because you're in "true love"! just because i MISS him when he's not around, doesn't mean i don't also have tons of fun with my family and friends when he's not there!

this guy sounds controlling and mean and borderline abusive. the answer is, "yes, it's normal to want alone time with your girlfriends when you're in a relationship." don't let her brainwash you because he's brainwashing her!

Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Of course you need alone time in a relationship. It isn't healthy to spend every waking moment with someone, even if you love them. This guy sounds abusive and controlling, and that relationship is not healthy, at all.

I agree with most everyone here... it sounds like the guy is a little controling and your friend isn't in a healthy relationship. I think alone time in a relationship is a good thing. I dated a guy for a year... and one night a week there was a guys' night and a girls' night. We went out with our friends, did want we wanted, and usually didn't even talk to each other. The next time we saw each other, we had things to talk about... we got to tell each other about our day/night.

If you are with someone 24/7, life gets pretty dull. And if you are with someone who demands to know where you are 24/7, then life just gets painful and that relationship needs to be over.

Research has shown that couples who have healthy amounts of time spent in other areas of their life have a stronger relationship. It may be tough (esp at the beginning of a relationship) to keep up with friends, but it's really important. Codependency can have a real downside when things go sour. This guy sounds very controlling and weird...

I good to spend time apart. Distance makes the heart grow fonder or something like that. Ha, I just think you appreciate each other more when you spend time apart. Having independence makes your relationship stronger and it gives you more stuff to talk about when you are spending time together. This guy sounds controlling and insecure and will not improve over time. Who would want to be in a relationship where you are constantly forced to prove your love and explain yourself? Been there done that and let me tell you it was the pits.

This man has issues ... everyone pretty much pointed that out here various ways ...
I would suggest your friend to get away from him ... as he could maybe turn dangerous ...

Pretty much agree with everyone else. This guy is controlling and insecure, and possibly dangerous if it gets worse. Everyone needs alone time at some point or time with friends. And you can love someone to death and still need alone time here and there.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because people who mind don't matter and people who matter don't mind."

This guy is insecure and controlling, and soon they will get sick of eachother. I wouldn't go so far as to say he's abusive because many people want to spend all their time with someone, and when they're insecure they do get upset about it when it doesn't happen, so no I don't think hes abusing her but I do think he needs to grow up.

One of the key elements of a healthy relationship is space/time alone and being able to be happy by yourself, doing your own thing, or spending time with others OUTSIDE your relationship, whether it's family or friends, etc. This sounds like an unhealthy, co-dependent relationship that will end poorly.

I'm exactly the same as skigurl. I totally want to spend 99% of my time with my husband, but I do make myself have girls nights once a month, and always have a good time. My husband encourages this and I don't think he loves me less because he wants me to have friends! That's crazy!

This is going to get worse, unless she puts a stop to it. I don't know how much you can do, op.

Of course wanting alone time is normal. It's also healthy. You can't get everything from one person, nor should you expect to or want to. Anyway, being away from each other, recharging and pursuing your own interests should give both parties more to talk about when they reunite and show them why they appreciate each others' company.

agree with Luisa.

There are couples that are completely co-dependent, and actually it's usually the girl that is more like that. But in this case it's all about what HE wants, and what HE says. I assume she wasn't like this in previous relationships? Beginning every sentence with "my boyfriend says" is very, very worrying. I definitely see warning signs of an abuser, at least emotional, if not physical. Getting rid of friends and support system is the first step.

This relationship sounds very suffocating and sounds just like a situation of my friend's. Both her and her boyfriend are very clingy and with each other 24/7. We used to be pretty good friends before they got serious, but not so much anymore because she doesn't make time for anyone else. If/when they break up, she will have no friends to turn to because she put EVERYTHING into that relationship. I think she's losing herself in it. This may possibly happen to your friend as well? It's not healthy.

I also second what everyone else have said about it potentially (if not already) an abusive relationship. He's far too controlling. Time away from a significant other is healthy because you can keep you friendships strong and continue to develop interests outside of the S.O., stuff that makes you an interesting person.

My boyfriend showed me how amazing it is to have two independent lives - we're so happy to find each other when we've been separated for a bit, even just an evening. He comes home and jumps into bed all happy to see me! If he'd stayed home, maybe it wouldn't have been exciting and we'd have gone to bed all blah. So yay for evenings, weekends, or evening vacations apart! It's always wonderful to see each other again, and we have a ton of stuff to talk about and share.

Being glued to each other is okay for the first 6 months. After that, it just becomes pathological.

Tell your friend to get out of it now. It's unhealthy. All of these are red flags. Pretty soon he'll have her alienated from her friends and relatives and people like this guy could become physically and/or emotionally abusive.

Alone time is essential in a relationship. Every relationship is different however, some couples need more alone time than others. What is IMPORTANT is that both parties are on the same page though. So the red flag here is that this girl's man won't let her hang out with her buds which is something that's important to her. He sounds pretty controlling like everyone else said and that will lead to a problem.

Time apart is definitely a good thing, if not a great thing. It helps provide things to talk about when you are together, as well as enhance the feeling you get when you are together. being around your sig/oth 99% of the time, even if you live together, isn't healthy for a relationship so young. I'm not one to judge, but he does sound a bit insecure by insisting that if you don't spend all of your free time together then it isn't "real love." But define "real love." Shouldn't you love your partner, regardless if you in the same room with him/her, or miles away? And vise/versa? Also, when you're spending that much time together, certain things are bound to start being taken for granted. The "I love yous" are not as frequent or may sound less sincere, because it's just expected. And even constant sex may be expected. Of course there's nothing wrong with having sex frequently, especially great sex with someone you have a deep, emotional/physical connection with. But even the most caring partner may tire of having sex with someone he/she's been all up under all day or even all week long. Then it becomes more like a task or a chore than what it should be, a fun, pleasurable experience. I may sound like a broken record with this, and I say it almost every post, but talking to your sig/oth REALLY can help in times like this. Better to lay everything on the table than to begin hiding feelings of unhappiness or even resentment at your current situation.

He's insecure and afraid she will meet someone else who's a better match for her.. Insecurities suck and I've had to deal with that before.. With my current beau, we have our own lives but make time for each other when we can. i HAVE TO HAVE alone time to be by myself, unwind, have a glass of wine, watch a show i like, take a long bath etc etc. If I couldn't have my own time with someone I was dating, he wouldn't be in the picture. He probably doesn't have many friends or a full life of his own because if he did, he'd have no problem being away from her longer than 2 seconds.

Well im kinda split on this my boyfriend is always with his friends and though i am happy that he is spending time with them to get his space from me i kid you no that sometimes his friends see him more than i do then when on the phone his cousins come over and he has to go with them. But then now im thinking i should give him some space i might be getting a little over protective maybe. Now my boyfriend when on a trip he's been gone for a week and i miss him so much and though its hard on me i guess its a good thing because absence does make the heart grow fonder and if he haden't have left we would just see each other like normal and i guess its a good thing to feel excitment to see him the next time otherwise it wold just bee like any other normal day.

Been there...REALLY BAD! When someone else, ANYONE else, demands and makes your decisions for you...you are being manipulated and controlled.

The really sick and controlling people have a way of wiggling into your life and it isn't until you feel suffocated that you begin to see it. Often when concerned friends and family say things about it, you are quick to defend this person. Having experienced it, it is hard when you see this happening to someone you care about.

When I was involved with someone like this...being controlled...he started by telling me how much his family was out of control and demanding. He told me they would warn me about him and that it was their way of being jealous and making sure he was unhappy. They did warn me. I should have listened.

Another thing I noticed was that the sicker the are...the quicker they want a commitment. They want you to sign the line before you realize how messed up they are. Because of this I now look at people differently and if I feel I am being pushed at all, my first reaction is a big red flag.

Unfortunately many people that seem to fall for someone with a controlling personality over and over, they never realize why they are making that choice. It is a choice if it is repeated in your life. The way I got out of it was to make a list of what I would put up with and what I absolutely wouldn't, and what I needed in a relationship. When I met someone new I always checked my list periodically.

Now I am married to a wonderful guy and tossed the list. The list did help me keep on track and kept me from repeating some really bad mistakes. A close friend that had been in my life and had watched me write my list, recently found herself making a list. She called me and said that somehow seeing it in writing was like drawing that line in the sand. We had different issues, but the list helped each of us make a difference in how we made our choices.