Good Idea or Bad Idea: Registering for your Honeymoon

June 26, 2007

If you and your fiancé already have cabinets full of flatware, pots and pans, and don't have any use for fine china, then why not register for your honeymoon? While your honeymoon should be the vacation of a lifetime, some couples have to stick to a tight budget, so what I want to know is, do you think it is a good idea or a bad idea to register for your honeymoon, or ask for cash donations to go towards your romantic getaway?

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22 Comments

jeng111 4 years 11 weeks

I just wanted to say that I am getting married soon and we registered our honeymoon through a site that allows people to to contribute to activities to the honeymoon, if they want. The reason we did this was because 1) live together already and have everything we need 2) are moving soon after we get married and are not sure of what else we need 3) it's what we really wanted. Nobody has to contribute or give any gift if they do not want to or can't afford to. It's never been about the gifts and we would appreciate just seeing everyone at our wedding but we registered for what we wanted. Your honeymoon is about your first special experience/trip as a married couple. I would love to give a gift that made those first memories so special and I have many times in the past. Nobody is asking to have their entire honeymoon paid for but it would be great to be able to stay an extra night, upgrade a room or have breakfast in bed and know that your friends and family helped make it a little more special. We plan on taking lots of pictures doing different activities that were on our registry (like surfing lessons) and sending one with our Thank You cards so everyone can see how much we enjoyed it and appreciate them.

GuysPOV 4 years 19 weeks

I don't have an issue with gift registries and wish lists necessarily, providing people aren't greedy about it. It can certainly be helpful in providing ideas. I personally didn't register because we already lived together for several years and didn't need anything. But I'm in the camp that feels that asking people to pay for your honeymoon is tacky. I understand we all want gifts we'll actually use, but contrary to popular opinion, gifts aren't obligatory. That's why they're called "gifts". It's a gesture on behalf of friends and family on a special occasion. It's not a reward for being allowed to bask in your fabulousness for a day. Of course I would never attend a wedding and not give the couple something. But there were guests at my reception who didn't give gifts, and I didn't think any less of them for it. I invited them to share in the joy of my new life. Period.

trendyindc 5 years 47 weeks

I really like the idea about people being able to do contribute for an activity for a honeymoon. something like lessons, or a nice dinner etc. The honest truth is all registeries are a bit tacky, but you're expected to have one. If you don't like the idea of getting something, simply say No gifts. Whatever type of gift you get it still will cost something.

mlmoreno47 5 years 47 weeks

A honeymoon is NOT a vacation! I have always felt kind of weird about wedding registries in general, don't people already have most of what they need? I would rather my grandmother pay for my once in a lifetime snorkeling trip than come crystal decanter I will never use. I love the idea of a honeymoon registry. When my best friend got married they registered at American Express and all the guests put $50 (or whatever) toward one gift card so they could put that money toward a down payment on a condo. I thought that was a great idea too!

baybridget 5 years 47 weeks

I think it's great! That way people can give within their budget rather than trying to find something on a registry that they can afford.

LaLaLaurie06 5 years 47 weeks

I would assume that if you only wanted money for the honeymoon, you wouldn't also ask for gifts at the bridal shower and the wedding. Now THAT is tacky.

PrissyLilBadAss 5 years 47 weeks

Ethiopian_princess, I applaud you. Well said darling. Tacky tacky tacky. And I think the bridal or couple's shower, along with the wedding present, along with the guests actual presence is ENOUGH! If they want a lavish honeymoon, then save for it!

tinyspark 5 years 47 weeks

Don't get me started on "greenbacks" either...

tinyspark 5 years 47 weeks

Gift registries are tacky in general! A wedding gift is not mandatory and I'll buy someone what I want to buy them. This soliciting of specific gifts is already out of hand.

auddie 5 years 47 weeks

Extremely tacky! And no one owns you a gift period. Just because you register, doesn't mean anyone has to buy you stuff. A gift is completely voluntary.

Tiinnaaaa 5 years 47 weeks

tacky.

LaLaLaurie06 5 years 47 weeks

p.s. a honeymoon is not all about sex. My bf and I are treating ours (yes, we're planning way ahead) as a vacation. We want to see stuff, share some quality time together, and just be with each other as we explore before we have to go back to the real world of jobs, etc.

LaLaLaurie06 5 years 47 weeks

I think asking for money toward a honeymoon is completely acceptable. A lot of couples are already living together before marriage and so already have a lot of the things that they need, such as eating utensils, sheets, etc. I'd rather pay for them to have a wonderful honeymoon as opposed to helping redecorate their entire house especially if the salt and pepper shakers they request are $50 per shaker!

ethiopian_princess 5 years 47 weeks

Also, as there is no way the couple in question would ever shell out ~$1400 to go to a wedding AND give the other party money for a honeymoon, there is no way it's appropriate for them to ask. There are just soooo many etiquette rules being broken. As for the money dance, it's common in some cultures. If it's part of your culture, then fine. A lot of those cultures tend to be ones in which there's an open door policy on weddings and they tend to be quite extravagant. Many African, Asian and Central and South American weddings I've been to are like this. People just show up and that's fine in those cultures. The money is supposed to help pay for the wedding and get the couple started in life. Having helped collect the money from many a money dance, I can tell you that the money collected would barely cover the cost of the cake. There are lots of ones. You'd think it was a strip club.

ethiopian_princess 5 years 47 weeks

edit: there is NO reason why someone should be paying for you to have sex in a fancy place.

ethiopian_princess 5 years 47 weeks

It's T-A-C-K-Y! If you can afford to be married or have a wedding, there is NO reason why someone should be paying for you to have sex. The only people who should be given money are those who NEED it like very young people going on to a pricey phase in life (college, grad school), teen mothers, etc. The couple that did this is TRASH. Not only are they having a destination wedding, but they expect their 200 guests who are each probably shelling out $700 at least just to be present there and they want people to pay for them to go on their fantasy honeymoon. While I don't think sticking with the old staples (toaster, plates) is necessary, there's a certain set of manners people should have regarding gift giving. After the age of 10, it makes sense for people to know this. It's tacky. End of story. 48% of you are wrong.

pinupsweetheart 5 years 47 weeks

Isn't it just as tacky as the traditional 'money dance'? Yet people still do it....

gbrsgirl 5 years 47 weeks

I think it's a bit rude to ask for money, or to donate to an account. Even if the account is for a honeymoon, or a downpayment for a house or something. I understand why you would want to ask for the cash but I don't think it's a good thing to do.

Pinkgirl88 5 years 47 weeks

I wouldn't

starla619619 5 years 47 weeks

If your family is not well to do, it's pretty impolite. People should give what they want and can afford.

bfly1133 5 years 47 weeks

On one hand I can see it, but on the other I don't like it. I tend to be more traditional when it comes to etiquette and this would be a no-no according to that. The honeymoon is part of your wedding budget, so it is kind of like asking them to pay for your wedding in a way. I am against asking for cash donations. If you are going to do it you should register for surf lessons or dinner for two at a nice restaurant or something that is more of an activity. I would rather people get creative with their registry by having one set-up at Home Depot or a sporting good store.

rubialala 5 years 47 weeks

We didn't register for our honeymoon, but my honey and I lived together before we got married and didn't need a lot of the "traditional" items you would put on a registry, like dishes, small appliances, linens, etc., so I can totally see a use for registering for your honeymoon.

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