Good Idea or Bad Idea: Friends Dating Friends

January 22, 2008

When you spend a lot of time with your best friend and her boyfriend it's inevitable that you find yourself spending time with his friends, too. Sure it is nice for everyone to get along, but what happens when your friends start to date each other? Is that a recipe for disaster if things don't work out? Staying neutral is easier said than done and even though celebrities make it look easy, do you think friends dating friends is a good idea or a bad idea?

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44 Comments

2 years 27 weeks

If your lover cant be your best friend too then your likely hood of ever lasting in any relationship will always fall apart within a 5 year period, this is proven stats. The longest and best marriages always talk about how much of best friends they are, it makes sense if you cant be friends then you cant be lovers for long. I see alot of people here who say it doesnt work, wouldnt work, blah blah seem to care too much about what other people think and seem to focus on the if doesnt work out then this and that,lol, with a mind set like this i guarantee your in and out of relationships all the time, thats a negative law of attraction to begin with,, good luck .

2 years 49 weeks

Im in one of these situations right now. I made a friend, and she introduced me to my current boyfriend. He then introduced her to her current boyfriend. Its really fun when we all go on roadtrips and etc... but for me it can also make things really awkward. for one, I learned the hard way that its almost impossible to vent about relationship/girl stuff with my friend, because she is automatically loyal to my bf(her friend) and vice versa. At this point, me and her havent been close for months over arguments and dissagreements, but Im still forced to hang out with her b/c we are all dating mutual friends. It can be really fun sometimes but it can also be a huge mess when friendship loyalty/dating loyalty gets in the way. Best thing if this happens -- keep everything light and fun-- dont spill your guts to everyone/anyone in the group.

3 years 11 weeks

i truly can't decide, i mean if they're your best friend then you must love spending time with them and they feel the same way but if you date and it doesn't work out then all of that is gone and its just well plain akward.

Asia84 5 years 16 weeks

it's cool if you all met as a couple on both ends. the girls hang with the girls, guys with guys.but it sucks of you were friends with one side first, and then you divorce; like how courtney cox and david arquette were friends with Jennifer aniston first, and then cool with brad. then they get divorced and she's publicly embarrassed, but david is cool with Brad still . . .that sucks.

Asia84 5 years 16 weeks

it's cool if you all met as a couple on both ends. the girls hang with the girls, guys with guys. but it sucks of you were friends with one side first, and then you divorce; like how courtney cox and david arquette were friends with Jennifer aniston first, and then cool with brad. then they get divorced and she's publicly embarrassed, but david is cool with Brad still . . .that sucks.

JaimeLeah526 5 years 16 weeks

My best guy friend and my best girl friend got together and it was a disaster. He would tell my husband his side of the story and she'd tell me her's and my husband and I would swap stories and of course tell the other person. It was a huge mess. Maybe if we didn't all live together it would have been fine. In the future I'd like to see them together but I'd never put myself in the middle like that again.

fashion_addict 5 years 16 weeks

This post could not have come at a better time! I am having this dilema right now. My best friend's bf's roomate (confusing, i know) and I hooked up twice and we're still cool and nobody seems to care. This past weekend I met another one of my best friend's boy's friend and even though i wasnt into him, he asked me out. Now Im in a dilema...i don't want the boys to think im trying to date all of them! As this is all happening, I've started to date this new guy who's not in the group....what should I do?

fashion_addict 5 years 16 weeks

nnelson84 5 years 16 weeks

It's a formula for trouble, no matter what the circumstances are. In fact, one of my best guy friends and I just made a pact to never date each other's friend. He recently broke up with one of my best girl friends and what entailed after wasn't pretty. During their relationship, I steered clear of them both simply b/c at times I almost felt like a middle man and I wasn't about to play that lose/lose game. After they broke up and broke up they did, there was this "awkward" cloud hanging over all of our heads so much that even our mutual friends felt that they had to choose either one or the other (but never both) to attend parties they were planning. All in all, it's just not a good idea b/c all parties experience "the breakup".

veronicaraye 5 years 17 weeks

...it never works out

veronicaraye 5 years 17 weeks

...it never works out

lilwildone1202 5 years 17 weeks

meh ive had bad experiences with it in the past but i wouldnt rule it out again. sometimes people dont really mesh as well as you'd think they would...

jmeyer 5 years 17 weeks

This definitely depends on the situation. One of the best relationships I have had was with my ex-boyfriend's best friend. My ex-boyfriend and I only dated a few months, but I loved hanging out with all his friends. After we broke up we all remained friends (I even set up my ex with one of my friends). A few months after my ex and I broke up I started having feelings for his best friend. After a night out at the bar, and a very PG-13 hook up, we both admitted that we were attracted to one another. With my ex's permission we started dating. We were mature enough to handle it and thought that we would always regret not giving it a shot. We spent nearly 2 years together. I think the fact that we were friends first (and had friends in common) made our relationship work that much better. We ended up splitting due to the fact that I was moving to a new city for work. Our breakup was mutual. We live in the same city again, and hang out all the time. We both are in new relationships and are happy. I think it depends on the people. If you are inclined to live a drama filled life, than it is probably best to date outside of your friend circle. I have friends who have tried it and it ended horribly. But I also think that if two people are attracted to one another they should give it a shot. I would hate to be living with that kind of regret.

jmeyer 5 years 17 weeks

ninjastarlett 5 years 17 weeks

I'm dating my friend from a certain group of friends... it was a little awkward at first and took some getting used to but now we can all hang out in a group again. I guess it would pretty awkward for the group if things don't work out but here's to hoping it does.

emalove 5 years 17 weeks

My husband and I met at our mutual friends' wedding...the four of us hang out all the time now and we're so close. In the past I've been set up with friends of friends and it never transpired into much...but I've never had any bad experiences with it.

RockAndRepublic 5 years 17 weeks

Errrr, no. Wouldn't touch that if my life depended on it. Sometimes you can't just go back to the way things were.

pklotus 5 years 17 weeks

Dating the guy's friend could is a double edge sword situation. I mean every girl would love to date their best friend's boyfriend's friend. It's like getting the best of both worlds. But when things don't work out it's a tad bit awkward...for everyone. Take it from someone who's been there done that, not the best idea. And if you do decide to do so keep it very casual and innocent.

CelestiaLuv 5 years 17 weeks

I voted bad idea, I know how my friends are (especially the guys), and its basically a setup for unneeded drama.

gab6784 5 years 17 weeks

I don't see anything wrong with this as long as everyone gets along and as long as both parties get their share of alone time.

1QTPIE 5 years 17 weeks

nope it's not all that. One minute your with one friend and the next your with another. Then your sitting there and your ex is looking at your new guy like "I had that, yup." NO I've seen this to many times with my old friends.... Not a good idea to date friends.

Greggie 5 years 17 weeks

To me, it's no different than becoming friends with people once I start dating their friend, and then they break up.For instance, the "breaking up the day before our wedding" scenario. That happened to us, but it wasn't because we were all friends dating friends. It was because after I met my husband, I became friends with a lot of his friends' girlfriends. I ended up asking one to be in my wedding.They handled it very well, though. No discomfort over their break-up impacted our wedding day.

Greggie 5 years 17 weeks

To me, it's no different than becoming friends with people once I start dating their friend, and then they break up. For instance, the "breaking up the day before our wedding" scenario. That happened to us, but it wasn't because we were all friends dating friends. It was because after I met my husband, I became friends with a lot of his friends' girlfriends. I ended up asking one to be in my wedding. They handled it very well, though. No discomfort over their break-up impacted our wedding day.

bingkaycoy 5 years 17 weeks

There's nothing wrong but it just doesn't look good and feel good. It's okey if a friend dates another friend--for example a girl-friend dating a guy-friend. But it doesn't look good, when they break up, and start dating again and one of them dates another friend in the group---just like what';s happening in the show "Friends".

lily8206 5 years 17 weeks

I don't see anything wrong with it. I think some of the best relationships come from friends introducing friends that they think would be a good match.

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