I broke up with my boyfriend of two years yesterday. It was very peaceful at the time and he admitted that he was in the wrong for everything. We have been long distance and he started to talk to me less and I delayed the inevitable until recently. He was telling me he loved me, talked about future plans and made it known that he didn't want me going anywhere. I was going to go there next week but somehow our conversation just turned into a breakup. He got choked up and sounded like he was crying which is very unlike him. He doesn't show his feelings ever. But he didn't fight to keep me around. He seemed okay about it, which is what is really killing me. I made the mistake of texting him this morning basically asking if we can work things out but now he is set on doing his own thing with law school and work commitments. He said maybe in the future we will both have stability and be able to get back together. I broke up with him but I'm the one feeling the most rejected. It's only the first day and I have been in bed since 7am until 1pm crying and can't seem to stop. I feel hopeless, empty and like there is nothing else at the end of the rainbow. We were both 24. I thought without a doubt he was the one. I had such a strong feeling about it. Now I feel like he died, I'll never get to talk to him again and his voice and face will become a distant memory.
I can't handle it. I have been throwing up, crying and shaking uncontrollably and it doesn't seem to be stopping. I'm not sure why I'm handling this so horribly but I really need support. I don't have a support system and have been having to do this alone. I don't even know if he is upset. It feels worse to think that I'm the only one feeling bad.