- Two Girls, One Psychotic Breakdown: Jan Brady meets Carrie
- Who enters a grocery store, shoves a turkey up her muumuu, and then tries to waddle off like it ain't no thang? This lady.
- Want the private phone numbers of beautiful people? Save yourself some time and don't call this hot line.
- Jesus loves the little children . . . even the ones who hate Jennifer Horton. That biatch.
- Larry King and Snoop Dogg sit down and chew the fat— literally.
- Abercrombie and Fitch does not sell clothes, it sells crack.
- Little girls got over themselves and went to rock camp— hells yeah!
- Infomercials have finally found their calling: prank time!