Get your weekly dose of funny with the best tweets on dating, sex, and bust size! Every day, women take to Twitter to share their hilarious musings on the highs and lows of relationships and singlehood — and I'm here to share the most relatable, giggle-worthy ones. You may even learn some new lingo. Find out the meanings of "fort-play" and "buysexuality" with this week's tweets girls say!
It just makes sense.
I sleep alone bc I like to leave some space in my bed in case Ryan Gosling ever wants to come over.
— Maritza Lugo (@PolaRoid_Rage) August 3, 2013
single, not sure how to mingle
— 50 Shades of Awkward (@OhWowThatsAwk) August 5, 2013
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The way to a woman's heart . . .
I'm buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual
— sorry i'm not sorry (@sorrynotsorryy) August 3, 2013
I'd take fort-play over foreplay any day.
Foreplay? Meh, I'd rather build a tent out couch cushions and blankets and do fort-play.
— Bez (@Bez) August 6, 2013
Well, it is what it is.
Answer a girl's text in under 5 seconds and you're a stalker; in over 10 seconds, you're an asshole who doesn't give a shit about her heart.
— Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie) August 6, 2013
A practical approach.
I don't call guys daddy because I think it's sexy. I do it because I want an allowance and to be added to their health insurance.
— Lori (@HeyitsLori) August 6, 2013
Just think how those guys feel.
some guys have bigger boobs than me but hey, that's life
— Typical White Girl (@TypicalGirI) August 3, 2013
Love isn't free.
http://t.co/92ftU9C9DU: "The longer you stay, the less you pay!"* *offer not valid on actual relationships
— Megan Ganz (@meganganz) August 6, 2013
I think so?
is sex still a thing?
— Morgan Murphy (@morgan_murphy) August 3, 2013
Get it, girl.
The art in my hotel room is very sexual and it's putting a lot of pressure on me
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) August 6, 2013
He had me at "naked titties."
At the start of the date the guy opened with "I'm going to a strip club in Portland tomorrow, mainly for the cheap beer & naked titties."
— Mandi Harris (@MandiHarris) August 7, 2013
It's a rough world we live in.
Listening to this girl complain about a boy unfollowing her on Twitter AND instagram. I commend her for being able to go on with her life.
— Kristin (@Kristin_Mahoney) August 1, 2013
I'm pretty disturbed by this new information.
Oh, the hole in Spanx is for SEX??? WHY ARE YOU HAVING SEX WITH CLOTHES ON??? ARE YOU AN APE???
— Molly McAleer (@molls) August 6, 2013
Is that too much to ask?
i need to date a boy who can pick me up. that's about the only standard i have.
— steph in space (@spacecadetsteph) August 3, 2013