POPSUGAR Love & Sex

#TweetsGirlsSay: Porn, Pizza, and Pretty Great Compliments

Mar 14 2014 - 10:15am

The funny women of Twitter cannot deny a few crucial universal truths: we love a good compliment, and we often think about pizza and sex at the same time. In this week's edition of Tweets Girls Say [1], our girlfriends on Twitter pontificated on porn, pizza, hobos, and nuts. Check 'em out now, and for even more funny, follow us on Twitter [2]!

Watched a pretty great porn, the girl goes "I'm sad" then the guy says "here's some pizza & my credit card I'll leave you alone" end scene.

— Bez (@Bez) March 14, 2014 [3]

Complimenting me is the same as pushing one of those big red EASY buttons.

— Lori (@HeyitsLori) March 8, 2014 [4]

I love it when guys close their eyes right before they kiss me because it's a perfect time to start crying

— AmberTozer (@AmberTozer) March 12, 2014 [5]

Being shocked when it's cold in winter is like being shocked when sex stops after marriage. Duh.

— Stacey Lynne (@NervousJr) March 13, 2014 [6]

Engagement photos but it's just me reuniting with a slice of pizza. Black and white. Very romantic. Very airbrushed.

— jacqueline carbajal (@jackiecarbajal) March 14, 2014 [7]

The most attractive facial feature a man can have is disinterest

— Alison Agosti (@AlisonAgosti) March 9, 2014 [8]

Hehe pic.twitter.com/OELC1XwCYB [9]

— Amy Schumer (@amyschumer) March 13, 2014 [10]

A guy who broke my heart ten years ago just posted a long "milk is murder" diatribe on Facebook, so I guess I really dodged a bullet there.

— Mandi Harris (@MandiHarris) March 13, 2014 [11]

A hobo just hit on me and I stopped to listen to what he had to say. So, that's how I'm doing.

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) March 6, 2014 [12]

If your ex texts you, it's probably because they tried to replace you, but failed.

— sorry i'm not sorry (@sorrynotsorryy) March 13, 2014 [13]


Source URL
http://www.tressugar.com/love/Funny-Tweets-About-Sex-March-14-2014-34355679