Friends

It's the classic mom meets mom story. You're at the playground, park, or library and your tot has found his new BFF. They're singing, playing — even sharing — so you casually introduce yourself to the kid's mom. Miracle of miracles, you two get along as well as your kids do. Just as you're getting past the prerequisite small talk to the good stuff, it's time to go. Your kids clearly adore each other, and you want to see them both again. Now what? Dig for a pen and paper? Fumble with your iPhone? Or just hand over a "mommy card," a business card with your contact info, with a casual, "let's get together for a playdate"?

They may sound silly, but in the rush to get out of the park before a toddler tantrum occurs, or just to make things easier, mom cards are designed to help mamas out when they're making new friends. Interested parents have plenty of cards to choose from, depending on how much information they really want to share with every random nice-seeming person they meet. While kids are certainly an important part of most parents' identities, not all moms and dads want to be known as "(Mom's Name), mommy to (Child's Name) and (Child's Name)."

Keep reading for some options for moms (or dads!) looking for another way to navigate the playground scene.

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

Hi! So I just moved to Florida 4 months ago and I haven't made any friends yet. I'm really shy, so that doesn't help! I'm 22, so I'm no longer in school. (All of my friends back home I made in school.) I'm a graphic designer, and I work at an ad agency. I've made a few "work friends," but I need people to hang out with outside of work! I've tried Craigslist but that's going nowhere fast. I like art, dance, the beach, music, animals, social drinking, going out to eat.

Any tips would be appreciated!

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I recently got engaged to my longtime boyfriend. We have been together for 5 years now more or less. The problem here is that we have a mutual female friend who has started acting really strange since my engagement. The day I told her I got engaged, she told me he was better looking than I was. Recently she has started making up false stories and tells them to each of us separately. For example, my fiancé and I decided to get married in December and she recently told him that I do not intend to get married in December and am only agreeing to it because he is pressuring me. On the other hand, she told me that he has issues with December because his brother won't be able to attend. Other than that, she constantly mentions that she called my fiancé and then goes on to tell me random things they talked about. She also acts like she knows him better and tries to give me advice about how to deal with him. She calls him three, maybe four times a day and whenever something is wrong, even if he has a slight fever, she comes over and tries to take control. It is irksome.

The lies she is telling are not creating any issues with me and my guy because we generally discuss everything that goes on and have made a silent pact now to never believe what she tells either one of us. But what disturbs me is that she is getting into my personal space, yesterday I caught her going through my phone.

I try not to confront her because she gets hurt easily and I have a temper I am not very proud of, which I try to keep in control as much as possible. But now I am at a point where her constant interference is getting on my nerves. My fiancé is of the opinion that he or I should directly confront her. Would that make her stop? I have tried telling her that I like my personal space to myself but she pays no heed. What should I do?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

Friends With Benefits opens tomorrow and it's got us asking ourselves: how do people make these things work? Can we truly find a solely sexual relationship fulfilling, or will there always be that nagging question in the back of our mind, "Maybe this is something more?" If you're choosing to embark on a FWB relationship, or you've already taken the leap, try these five tips to keep things feeling positive and on an equal playing field.

1. Understand what you're signing up for. No matter how you look at it, FWB does not translate to boyfriend. If your guy makes it clear from the get-go that he's not looking for anything serious, don't ignore what he's saying and hope he'll have a change of heart. This is a recipe for disaster.
2. Set ground rules. Like any other relationship, there needs to be a level of mutual respect. What happens if you see each other outside of the confines of your bedrooms? Is there no texting during the day in order to keep things separate? Make sure to discuss your qualms and get those issues out of the way.
3. Leave expectations at the door. This dude is not your boyfriend, and you can't expect him to act like your boyfriend. With that said, a relationship with a FWB may challenge you to be more straightforward. Without the worries of a future and the comfort of a close friend, you can leave your sexual inhibitions at the door. Get ready to get vocal!
4. Be prepared that there may be others. There is the definite possibility that there may be other girls in your boat. With no strings attached, you are free to see whomever you wish and the same goes for him. This sounds fine in theory, but what do you do if you see him out with another girl? Or what if he sees you out with another guy? It's a good idea to discuss these circumstances when you lay out the ground rules.
5. Realize that there's no turning back. Your relationship will be forever changed. If he is a very close friend, or you run in the same social circles, you have to be prepared for the potential fallout. No matter how you try to rationalize this, sex changes things. Period.

Do you have any thoughts on the friends-with-benefits phenomenon or any tips to add to the mix? Share your comments below!

Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis's Friends With Benefits comes out next week, and while I thought it was funny and entertaining — plus who can complain about the JT eye candy? — some of the scenes miss the mark when it comes to the realities of a FWB relationship. The movie has several digs at the formulaic Hollywood rom-com, but even with a raunchier edge to it, the just-sex arrangement has been Hollywood-ized. Here are some unrealistic FWB scenarios from the movie.

• Grand gesture: The whole nature of a FWB situation is that it's casual, which means grand gestures like the "running after the girl scene" and last-minute flash mobs probably aren't in the cards (never mind the logistics of organizing a flash mob).
• Not jealous: When Mila's character Jamie starts dating someone else, Dylan (JT) seems a little down that he can't hang out with her, but not really jealous. Then it ends, and Jamie and Dylan go back to being FWB. In real life, it would have completely complicated things to go from their arrangement to dating other people. The new boy would have been jealous she was talking to a friend she used to sleep with, Dylan would have been angry and jealous, and they probably would have ended up sleeping together while she was still dating the other guy.
• Meeting the family: For both Dylan and Jamie to meet each other's families is a stretch. Many couples don't even meet the families until the relationship is serious, and Dylan and Jamie aren't even in a relationship because they don't want the commitment. If you don't want commitment, you definitely don't want to involve family.
• Overlooking pet peeves: Dylan has some weird bedroom quirks like feeling emasculated when she's on top (um, really?) and wearing socks in bed and the shower. They act like both are free to do whatever without it annoying the other person since they are "just friends," but in reality if you're sleeping with someone long enough, the quirks are going to bug you the same as if you're in a relationship. It can't be separated that easily.

Disagree? Then share your own FWB experiences in the comments!

The hashtag #reason2haveguybestfriend is currently trending on Twitter. And it got us thinking, what are the perks of your bestie being a guy vs. a girl? Here's what we came up with.

Reasons to have a guy best friend:

• There won't be that underlying competitive streak in the relationship that's sometimes unavoidable with a girlfriend.
• Guys understand their fellow gender better than we do, so they have a more accurate jerk-dar when it comes to potential love interests.
• From "Does this haircut look good on me?" to "Am I being too needy?" a guy friend won't sugarcoat the truth, which we need sometimes.
• Arguments and fights are inevitable in any relationship, but guys tend to put it all out there instead of holding it in and being passive-aggressive.
• As antifeminist as it might sound, sometimes it's nice to have a guy friend when your car dies, you need to put together an Ikea bookcase, or there's some sort of bug infestation in your apartment.

Why it's not such a great idea:

• A guy friend can never fully "get" what it's like to be a woman, so there will always be those moments when we need a fellow lady friend who doesn't run away when we are being an emotional, irrational basket case.
• That inevitable When Harry Met Sally rule: someone in the friendship always falls for the other. We've seen it time and time again; things get complicated the minute one person starts to want more out of the relationship than being "just friends."

Do you think it's better to have your best friend be a guy? Why?

Watching Ashley last night on The Bachelorette was like watching a long, drawn-out car crash. Hearing her cry and sigh over her lost love Bentley, who we all know is a soulless jerk, was so painful that only a drinking game (drink every time Ashley mentions "Bentley") kept my friend and me from losing our marbles. While we sat there dismayed that she could be so clueless about the show's "worst villain ever," my friend said, "this is what happens when you're separated from all your girlfriends." Exactly! What Ashley really needs to help her process these relationship decisions are her girlfriends (sorry, Chris Harrison, you can't quite fill those shoes, er, heels). Here are five reasons the bachelorette needs her besties.

• Tough love: She needs her girlfriends to knock some sense into her, and I don't mean in the boxing ring. Guess what, Ashley, Bentley is gone, move on. Are you really pouting about one guy who left you when you have 11 guys who are obsessed with you? Get it together. And her friends would be able to see Bentley for the scumbag he is — sometimes you need outside perspectives from the people you trust to see a bad guy's true colors.
• Shoulder to cry on: Yes, Ashley needs to move on, but she also needs to allow herself to be sad about losing someone she cared about. Maybe if she had been able to talk through Bentley leaving with a friend and really get all those emotions out, she would have been able to get past it and start fresh with the other guys.
• Fug radar: I'm sorry, but some of the fellas she's keeping around are a bit on the fugly side. We all have those friends, or have been them ourselves, who keep a guy around because he's nice, even though there's no sexual chemistry. She needs her friends to tell her straight up, "why are you keeping him around if you're not attracted to him?"
• Loosen up: Ashley is so stressed out, I get anxiety just watching her. What she really needs are some gal pals around to laugh with and put things in perspective. She's taking everything so seriously right now and is so tightly wound she can't even enjoy the process. It's even causing her to make rash decisions like kicking off both Ben F. and William on the two-on-one date. A much-needed, girls-only venting sesh would help her relax and clear her mind.
• Confidence boost: Why in the world is Ashley so down on herself? She is so self-conscious about the guys not liking her or wishing the bachelorette had been Emily (and that nightmare roast didn't help), she can't even see that these guys are head over heels for her. She needs her friends to give her a heart to heart about all of her strengths and how she's a great catch.

Photo copyright 2011 ABC, Inc.

As carefree and fun as they should be, wedding-related parties can produce some sticky finance conundrums. I received a question from SurferGurl that I figure most brides-to-be have wondered and asked our savvy bride contributor to share her take. You can submit your questions in our Ask Savvy group.

Dear Savvy,

Is there a tactful way for the bride to tell the Maid of Honor or friends she's happy to cover her own bachelorette costs?

To see what a savvy bride has to say about this, keep reading after the jump.