Friends with Money

Dear Sugar
A good friend of mine called me to ask if she could borrow a large sum of money from me after she extended a loan to a different friend. She liquidated her and her husband's joint bank account and is asking me for the money to put it back in the account until her other friend re-pays her.

Oddly enough this is not the first time she has done this. I feel that she is making things worse by trying to hide what she has done as a band-aid to "fix" the situation. She is convinced that if she tells her husband what she did, he will divorce her.

Do you have any advice for me? Do you think that l should I lend her the money and be a good friend? I want to talk to her about coming clean to her husband because I really think she needs to tell him before things get worse. Asked for a Loan Joan


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Dear Asked for a Loan Joan
Borrowing money from friends can get very sticky, and I feel should be avoided if possible. Of course there are extenuating circumstances, but it is a decision that should take careful condideration. It sounds like your friend doesn't know how to say no when people ask for a loan even though she knows she is jeopardizing her marriage.

I have always been taught that if you lend money out, don't expect to get it back. Chances are, when they get on their feet again, their first priority isn't going to be saving money to pay you back. It sounds as though you are hesitant to give her the money, in which case I advise you to follow your first instinct.

Try sitting down and talking to your friend. Tell her that she is going to dig herself into a deep hole if she continues to cover up her lies to her husband. It is completely up to you if you choose to give her the money, but learn from her example that mixing money with friends can result in a complicated transaction. Good luck to you.

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