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Dear Sugar
Help! My best friend and I have been inseparable for years. But lately I feel like I've been let down by her. She dated a guy who dumped her for another girl and now that he's single again she wants him back. She tells me that she's so in love with him that she can't live without him, but I just can't trust him. She wants to give him her virginity too and I don't think he's worthy. I know this guy and he's a dog. I couldn't bear to see her end up in the same situation as when he dumped her - broken hearted. My issue is that when she's with him, she totally disses me. I feel betrayed, forgotten and substituted. She promised never to let a guy come between us. I feel like I've lost a best friend. How can I deal with this? Neglected Natalie

Dear Neglected Natalie
Understand balance. You can't ask her to choose you over him; love and friendships are not mutually exclusive. Besides the fact that you don't like your friend's choice in men, she is allowed to date and still have you as a best friend. Wouldn't you want her to be there for you if you started dating someone? As far as her virginity is concerned, check out this post from another DearSugar reader My Friend Is About To Make A Sexual Mistake. Realize that this decision is her own. Explain to her that sleeping with him isn't going to ensure that he sticks around and returns the love that she thinks she feels for him. He could very well use her and leave her, but ultimately all you can do is try and get her to see this. Just be supportive, isn't that what everyone needs in a friend?

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