Friend Is Having an Affair With a Married Man

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

One of my friends has been having an affair with a married man. Part of me feels like this is none of my business. Another part of me feels like this is so much not my business that I shouldn't hang out with her anymore. I'm recently engaged and getting married in a few months and her tales of intrigue are robbing me of my peace. My fiancé is really not the type of man that she would be interested in. But if he ever became uber-rich, I just might have to watch my back.

This choice that she's making makes it difficult for me to be honest with her. I think that what she's doing is destructive to someone's marriage and to her self-esteem. I'm not jaded about love and marriage. My parents were together until my father passed away. My fiancé's parents are still together and going strong. I don't want to be judgmental, because I think that all people have their own path and need to learn things in their own way. But this seems so basic to me. You know, the golden rule, do unto others, what goes around comes around, karma . . .

Keep reading to read the rest of her predicament and offer your two cents in the comments.

I don't think I want to spend my time with someone who can be so callus and removed from the fact that even if the man's wife doesn't know, she's hurting her. The man also has two teenage sons, who are at the point in their life where they're going to start learning about how to treat women. I feel that if these boys found out they would do one of two things: (1) cling to and defend their mother, or (2) model their father's behavior and treat women like they were disposable objects to be used and enjoyed but ultimately done away with.

I'm torn though, I feel that as a friend I should be loyal and stand by her. Another part of me is really angry that I have to be burdened with her secret, right while I'm about to exchange vows that I intend to uphold. And I hope that other women can be respectful of the promise that I'm about to make.

She has a host of other wonderful qualities like being smart, and a good listener when she's not talking ad nauseum about her lover. Maybe I'm parochial, and conservative, and overly conventional. But I'm having a hard time. I'm trying to phase her out but she's the kind of person that would demand an answer eventually. What should I do?

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