Friend or Foe?

Dear Sugar
My cousin and I grew up together and we are best friends. We live in different towns but we speak at least a few times a day. I am a senior in high school and she is a sophomore in college and when we get in stupid fights, she always blames my age. I have never thought that the two years between us was a big age difference, but apparently she does.

About a month ago, my cousin got in trouble for sneaking around with her boyfriend. Her parents are extremely strict and somehow she managed to blame it on me. She argued with me when I confronted her about it and then she told me never to call her again.

I thought she was just upset with her parents and I assumed that she would call me the next day to apologize. However, three weeks have gone by and I still haven't heard from her. I tried to give her some space, but I miss my best friend.

My birthday was two days ago and I really thought she would call me and we could put this fight behind us, but instead she wrote me an e-mail telling me that I was too immature for her taste and she needed some space for a while. What did I do? Why is she writing me off like this? Am I missing something? Confused Katrina


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Dear Confused Katrina
It sounds like your cousin is very angry and she is taking her aggression out on you even though you did nothing wrong. Could there be something else going on in her life that is making her push the people that she loves away? Is she fighting with her other friends or family members?

Instead of waiting for her to make the first move, be the bigger person and try reaching out to her. She might just be needing a friend right now. If she doesn't feel like talking, write her an e-mail letting her know that you miss her and want to resolve the tension between you two. Try saying something like this:

"I understand you need your space right now, but I just wanted to let you know that I miss our friendship. I am not sure what it is that I have done to upset you, but when you are ready, I would really like to talk so we can try and work it out."

Your cousin is claiming your age is the reason for your immaturity, but it sounds like she is the one that is being immature. Stand up for yourself and hopefully you can get to the bottom of your cousin's anger and put this fight behind you. Good luck.

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