Actually, I lied. Paris Hilton has nothing to do with this story- but I bet she'd be hot for it if she knew anything about it. Did you hear? A Dillard's store in Ohio caught fire. Yep. ...and that's the story.
No chaos. No frenzy. No hurried pushing and shoving during a mad, mass exodus out the department store doors. No, none of that. Just your run-of-the-mill shopoholics in zombie-like stupors.
Despite the heavy smoke and decreasing oxygen levels in the room, everyone remained calm and on task. Shoppers kept shopping. Buyers kept buying. Fire fighters even had to block off the doors to keep people from entering the store. Wait a minute-- aren't the doors used to enter and exit buildings usually pivotal to fire escape routes?
Eh. As long as the sale rack wasn't torched- no big deal.