Etiquette For Baby Shower Gifts

Awkward! Backing Out of Baby Shower Gift

July 30, 2010

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I am going to a baby shower at the end of August and was asked to bake and bring the cake, which I am excited about and more than happy to do!

I was also told that everyone is going to collect money and get the mother-to-be a large gift, like a high chair or car seat or stroller. As a single girl on a semi-strict budget, I'm not sure I want to give money towards the group gift, plus make the cake.

Would it be rude if I didn't contribute to the gift and just brought the cake?

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17 Comments

nicole121482 2 years 42 weeks

Yes, you should bring a gift for Mom-To-Be...a cake is not a baby shower gift. I understand that times can be tight, but a cake can be made in under $10...the purpose of the party is to celebrate this woman bringing new life into the world and to help her along with the things that she needs to be ready for the baby. She does not need a cake to be ready for the baby...I understand you were asked to bring it, but I'm sure whomever asked you didn't know about your money situation. If you can't do both, I would back out on doing the cake and just get a small gift for the baby, a packet of onsies off the registry and a blanket would be sufficient but you can't go to a Baby Shower without a gift...that's just wrong no matter your money situation....

danakscully64 2 years 42 weeks

I like the idea of getting a onesie or something too. They're completely affordable. I have a feeling this isn't a family member just by the tone of the post. Doing a favor and bringing the cake is a little different for friends/co-workers, so you're not really obligated to get a gift on top of that. It's always nice and appreciated though. If everyone is bringing something (apps, dips, chips, drinks, pot luck style), then yeah, definitely get another gift.

Happsmjc 2 years 42 weeks

I would maybe not pitch in for the gift, but still bring a cute onesie or baby item in addition to the cake. Again, in my family we always always bake (or cook) for events AND bring gifts, so this is not out of the norm, even when we are strapped on cash. Somtimes it is cheaper to go in on a gift at that point, but if not I would bring a cute onesie or gift from Etsy. Maybe a onsie with a cake on it to be cute. I know many consider the cake to be the gift (and believe me I know it is considered time consuming and expensive) but we always bake for events in addition to the gifts.

Happsmjc 2 years 42 weeks

danakscully64 2 years 42 weeks

Your gift is the cake, so there's no reason you would be obligated to get her a 2nd gift. If someone asks, just say you're already covered in the gift department :)

JoneyStar 2 years 42 weeks

I say one or the other. You can't be expected to do both on a budget. Tell them that.

amandachalynn 2 years 42 weeks

I will be having a baby shower in a few weeks, and if I found out my friends were asking other guests to pitch in for a large gift, I would be embarrassed. I want my guests to look forward to a good time celebrating life and friendship, not worrying about a gift. For me it's much more meaningful for someone to put together something like a cake(which is very time consuming and can get hectic if you don't bake often) instead of throwing 20 bucks at a larger gift. I would politely tell them you'd rather do your own thing, and give the momma to be a lovely card along with the cake. If anyone is bothered by this at the party, they need a reality check. A baby shower is about celebrating and socializing, not about seeing who can give the best gift.

jelibeann 2 years 42 weeks

i often get asked to bake cakes for friend and family events and, depending on the level of complication, it can get pricey and time-consuming...so, i try to take it cake by cake and event by event...consider that if the mother-to-be is that good of a friend, you'll probably wind up giving her a little something when the baby arrives, as well, so don't stress about going crazy for the shower

PiNkY PiNk 2 years 42 weeks

no it's not rude. I think that no matter how much they're asking to contribute, obviously it's too much for you. Be friendly when telling them that you can't contribute and if they don't understand then be firm. I agree that baby showers are more about being social and having fun.

lawchick 2 years 42 weeks

I recently hosted a shower where one guest's gift was a beautiful cake (homemade, but professional looking). The mother-to-be loved it! So, I think that's a great gift in and of itself. Lenay has a good idea with giving a nice card and explaining inside that the cake is your gift.

postmodernsleaze 2 years 42 weeks

I agree with Betty Wayne. How much are they asking guests contribute? I would put in a small donation, but if a large amount is being asked, I would just be honest and simple and say you are unable to afford it at this time.A great card and a delicious cake is more than thoughtful! Don't stress it.

postmodernsleaze 2 years 42 weeks

I agree with Betty Wayne. How much are they asking guests contribute? I would put in a small donation, but if a large amount is being asked, I would just be honest and simple and say you are unable to afford it at this time. A great card and a delicious cake is more than thoughtful! Don't stress it.

spacekatgal 2 years 42 weeks

Yeah, I wouldn't stress it. For the baby showers I've been to, it was more about letting the future mother celebrate their pregnancy. Play some games, be social, help clean up, be direct about your financial situation. I don't think there's any logic in stressing your own budget to save them a couple of bucks. Having a kid costs like $20,000 in just pregnancy costs - so an extra $100 for a stroller or whatever isn't going to ultimately matter. I think these showers are something for older women to enjoy anyway.

spacekatgal 2 years 42 weeks

Lenay 2 years 44 weeks

You should tell the person collecting for the group gift that you cannot afford to contribute monetarilyand will let the mom-to-be know that you were part of their group gift. Then purchase a nice greeting card instead, and present it with the cake that you bring. (Write in the greeting card that the cake is your gift.)

Bettye Wayne 2 years 44 weeks

I guess it depends in part on how much they're asking you to contribute... if it's only like $20 I think you should just do it but if it's like $100 bucks, just tell them you can't afford it. It also depends on how close you are to the mommy-to-be. If she's a close friend then absolutely contribute to the large gift! But if she's just a casual acquaintance, I think baking the cake might be enough.

Bettye Wayne 2 years 44 weeks

Link Love

17 Comments

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