Engaged But Holding On To Past

Group Therapy: Engaged but Holding on to Past

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Hiya I am new to this but I do have a dilemma that's horrid and can't talk to anyone about it.

Two and a half years ago I started having a relationship with a colleague at work with no-one knowing about it. I spent more nights at his than mine. We went on holiday together after 2 months and from then i noticed that things were not right with him and that we were not going to last. I tried to break up with him twice and he would no hear of it but after 5 months of dating he dumped me by text and went out with another colleague who is junior to me at work. I was devastated with the way this has transpired and left the city and moved away to try and recover.

I spent one and a half years being miserable until I decided that maybe I should move onto another relationship as trying to get over it on my own wasn't working. I went online and met this lovely man and we started dating and things were good. He was very different to my ex, he introduced me to his mum after 3 months and and he was really lovely. He made it clear that he wanted to marry me and needless to say I got engaged after 5 months but I have said we would wait till at least 18months before doing the deed. Problem? Well I don't think I have gotten over the hurt of the last relationship and more recently although my ex is engaged to this girl now (last year) I heard that they have set the date for next year and that sent me into a spiral of depression.

Read the rest after the jump.

Now my mum says that I have not gotten over him but I disagree as I do NOT want him back, I just want him to suffer the way I have one so and it pains me to know that he is happy and moving on after trying to destroy me. He avoids me whenever he can and is quite rude to me at work (he will walk into a room and not say a word to me and greet everyone else) and that all is quite unnerving. I don't want him to destroy my current relationship and I do want to be with this man but at the same time how do you bury the past like that? How do I let go? I even tried to say hello yesterday just because I thought it was the cold war that I didn't like and that did not do anything. Am I making a mistake by getting engaged if I have these issues? Do I lose the last chance of happiness? I'm in a mess, ideas would be welcome..

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