Dumbass Instructions


"Lather, rinse, and repeat" has always seemed like a poetic phrase to me, keeping me entertained in the shower while I'm reading the shampoo bottle.

But the people who wrote the following product directions have got to be kidding me! I must admit, though, that I have thought of ironing my clothes while they're on my body. (I have some tardiness issues).

  • On a Korean kitchen knife: "Warning: keep out of children."
  • On a string of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
  • On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
  • (More nuts) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: open packet, eat nuts."
  • On Rowenta iron packaging: "Do not iron clothes on body."
  • On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."
  • On Nytol sleep aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

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