A Do or a Don't: Thanksgiving Together Before Marriage

November 21, 2008

The holiday season is all about family, and while it's also about welcoming others to the table, I think most people look forward to being home every November. Married couples are often forced to alternate holidays if both families can't be together. But what about when you're in a serious relationship, just not married? Is spending Thanksgiving with your significant other a do or a don't?

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Kat E 4 years 24 weeks

I spent Thanksgiving with my boyfriend this year because I live in San Francisco and my family resides on the East Coast. It was just cheaper to stay home with him, invite a bunch of our friends over and cook dinner together. After all, they have become my San Francisco family in a way. Other than my family, there's almost nobody I'd rather spend it with.

xopiperxo 4 years 25 weeks

it depends. i am spending thanksgiving with my bf this year because my family isn't doing a big dinner or anything big.

allourregrets 4 years 25 weeks

I live in Kansas City and my boyfriend asked me to go to Oklahoma City with him and his family for Thankgiving. But, as it turns out I am also going to Oklahoma for thanksgiving with my family, so we will only be about an hour apart, so we might try to work something out where we can see eachother. But I have been in serious relationships before and during the holidays we usually go to both families. Do one early in the afternoon and the other later in the evening, but maybe Ive just been lucky that we've had families who are willing to oblige.

sassy_chick 4 years 25 weeks

We've done two together and this will be our first apart. He's an intern and has to work that day, but his sister and brother-in-law are going down there to be with him. We're doing Thanksgiving and Christmas apart this year, then we'll be married the next time the holiday season rolls around. Then it's all about alternating, if he's not at the hospital.

LadyAngel89 4 years 25 weeks

We do both on Thanksgiving together, two dinners FTW! Then we do christmas at our house.

oh cecilia baby 4 years 26 weeks

A do! Not because i can't stand to be apart from my boyfriend, but because i'm in a serious relationship with him, that's not quite to the point of marriage. i still wanna spend holidays with him!

glampop20 4 years 26 weeks

My boyfriend and I are pretty serious and we still celebrate Thanksgiving apart. He doesn't celebrate Christmas so he comes to me for that and for the Jewish holidays I always celebrate them with him. Its a good balance.

italianblonde 4 years 26 weeks

I think it's a definite do. Spending time with someone you love on the holidays is always great!! And they really get to know waaayy too much information about me at Thanksgiving, because my family just recalls embarassing memories and cracks jokes about each other the whole time!! I love it.

nina24 4 years 26 weeks

I dont see the problem with spending Thanksgiving or Christmas with a loved one, even if you are or arent married. I dont feel like it matters whether or not you're technically family, its the holidays!

cravinsugar 4 years 26 weeks

over 7 thanksgivings, we have only had 1 together, and it was because his nephew was in chemo on thanksgiving so his famly had thanksgiving a different day so they could all be together. Siince we are now engaged, i think it is more important that we spend this last holiday with our own families as starting from May we will be celebrating holidays together and starting our own traditions! hooray! I always miss him on thanksgiving, but soon I won't have to miss him anymore!

GScott86 4 years 26 weeks

Frankly, I don't see why there would be a problem with doing any holiday with the significant other. The only issues I see is if you're still living with family or extremely close and there's the general consensus that you do holidays with family. Thanksgiving and Christmas are like the only 2 holidays where my entire family such as extended family I have never heard of before get together and eat and have boring conversations, so might as well do the family thing. But frankly, when I move on to have my own life with my wife or otherwise, they should know not to expect me to hang around their get-togethers EVERY year.

ilanac13 4 years 26 weeks

my man and i did thanksgiving together pretty much from the first time that we started dating. i don't think that there's anything wrong with that!

ShePirate2010 4 years 26 weeks

y not? now Christmas TO ME is a diff matter, but wuts wrong wit hstuffing ur face with turkey with ur significant other b4 marriage? i mean if u can have sex....y not Thanksgiving???? idk...lol

kia 4 years 26 weeks

My husband and I did T-giving together twice before marriage. Both our families lived far away and neither family is really pleasant to be around for the holidays. Honestly I never enjoyed Thanksgiving with my family in the past and my husband has helped me enjoy this day immensely. This year my father is flying in to spend it with us and friends.

oohsexypenguin 4 years 26 weeks

This will be my fiance's third Thanksgiving with me and my family. He isn't that close to his family - they don't even celebrate, and his parents are divorced. I definitely think it's a do, but only if a) you are in a serious relationship, and b) both families are comfortable with it.

oohsexypenguin 4 years 26 weeks

This will be my fiance's third Thanksgiving with me and my family. He isn't that close to his family - they don't even celebrate, and his parents are divorced.I definitely think it's a do, but only if a) you are in a serious relationship, and b) both families are comfortable with it.

AlexE70 4 years 26 weeks

In my last relationship, it was always a big deal if I wasn't able to spend the holidays with her. I'm fortunate enough now to be with someone whose world wont come to an end if we're apart for a day or so. ;-)

melizzle 4 years 26 weeks

Me and hubby MET on Thanksgiving. So it's a major do. :) He also proposed on a Thanksgiving. And we got married the week of Thanksgiving. Yeah. It's kind of "our" holiday. ;)

melizzle 4 years 26 weeks

Me and hubby MET on Thanksgiving. So it's a major do. :)He also proposed on a Thanksgiving.And we got married the week of Thanksgiving.Yeah. It's kind of "our" holiday. ;)

356UIK 4 years 26 weeks

I voted Dont cos I cant be away from my fam for holidays, but I say its DEF a DO if you or he can afford to be away from fam. :)

Deidre 4 years 26 weeks

When the fiance was the boyfriend, we spent holidays apart. We lived in the same city, and our parents each lived in separate places from us. Since neither of us got to see our families a lot, we would each travel to see our own for the holidays. Definitely wasn't a big deal to be apart for a few days, and we'd have our own little special T-Day or Christmas celebrations before the actual holiday. Now that we're engaged, we're splitting holidays between the two families. So it's exciting since this will be our first season spending them with each other! We didn't purposely hold off until we got engaged; it's just sort of the way things worked out.

Deidre 4 years 26 weeks

When the fiance was the boyfriend, we spent holidays apart. We lived in the same city, and our parents each lived in separate places from us. Since neither of us got to see our families a lot, we would each travel to see our own for the holidays. Definitely wasn't a big deal to be apart for a few days, and we'd have our own little special T-Day or Christmas celebrations before the actual holiday.Now that we're engaged, we're splitting holidays between the two families. So it's exciting since this will be our first season spending them with each other! We didn't purposely hold off until we got engaged; it's just sort of the way things worked out.

Chrstne 4 years 26 weeks

We are celebrating a second thanksgiving, just him and us, alone. We are both not too keen on family, though we spent last Christmas with his parents. We have moved to a different part of the U.S., and frankly don't feel like booking plane tickets for one holiday. We are spending all the holidays this year alone. I feel a little sad, but I am excited, still. Honestly, marriage is not the status quo anymore. No one gives a crap if you are married anymore, and most people don't feel the need to do or not do things because they do or do not have a ring on their finger. I think looking at marriage as being the "ultimate", and the only time you can do a, b, and c is wayyy too 50's.

Chrstne 4 years 26 weeks

We are celebrating a second thanksgiving, just him and us, alone. We are both not too keen on family, though we spent last Christmas with his parents. We have moved to a different part of the U.S., and frankly don't feel like booking plane tickets for one holiday. We are spending all the holidays this year alone. I feel a little sad, but I am excited, still.Honestly, marriage is not the status quo anymore. No one gives a crap if you are married anymore, and most people don't feel the need to do or not do things because they do or do not have a ring on their finger. I think looking at marriage as being the "ultimate", and the only time you can do a, b, and c is wayyy too 50's.

brookberrys 4 years 26 weeks

We hop around - my dad will host his Thanksgiving early (noon-ish) so we can stop in for that, then stop by my boyfriend's parents' house afterwards, and at 4 my mother's side for the family meets at my grandfather's house to eat. So we get to hop around to each house together, the only problem is trying not to eat too much food at each stop.

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