A Do or a Don't: Living With Friends

September 5, 2008

Living with someone can give you an entirely new perspective, and unluckily it’s not always for the best. The close proximity created by a living space creates many opportunities for butting heads, and so I often hear people say that it’s better to live with someone you don’t know, rather than with a friend. It’s easy to lose a bad roommate but harder to lose a good friend.

But I’ve never agreed. I think friends are the ideal roommates, as long as you’re aware that you’ll be facing their good along with their bad. But do you agree? Or do you think it's only a recipe for disaster?

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28 Comments

karen7782 4 years 37 weeks

I've lived with two friends. The first one turned out to be a freak who spent the entire day in her pajamas sitting in front of the computer. Every day. She also would not contribute to mutual expenses such as utilities. The second one was more of just an unfortunate situation, where I was having personal problems, and she just wasn't a very understanding person. Ultimately, I ended up ending the friendships with both of them. On the other hand, I lived with a girl at university who ended up being one of my best friends, but we were strangers when we first moved in together.

karen7782 4 years 37 weeks

I've lived with two friends. The first one turned out to be a freak who spent the entire day in her pajamas sitting in front of the computer. Every day. She also would not contribute to mutual expenses such as utilities.The second one was more of just an unfortunate situation, where I was having personal problems, and she just wasn't a very understanding person.Ultimately, I ended up ending the friendships with both of them.On the other hand, I lived with a girl at university who ended up being one of my best friends, but we were strangers when we first moved in together.

Autumns_Elegy 4 years 37 weeks

There are some friends I would NEVER live with. One of my best friends has the worst taste in people, she befriends creeps, drugs users and kleptomaniacs. I love her to death but if I moved in with her I know my things would either go missing or be ruined. She's also terrible with money so rent would never go in on time. I would be perfectly happy moving in with another friend though. He's as clean as I am, refuses to let the fridge turn into a biohazard and wont invite dickwads over for tea.

Autumns_Elegy 4 years 37 weeks

There are some friends I would NEVER live with.One of my best friends has the worst taste in people, she befriends creeps, drugs users and kleptomaniacs. I love her to death but if I moved in with her I know my things would either go missing or be ruined. She's also terrible with money so rent would never go in on time.I would be perfectly happy moving in with another friend though. He's as clean as I am, refuses to let the fridge turn into a biohazard and wont invite dickwads over for tea.

MissFonzie 4 years 37 weeks

I've lived with several friends, but only had a problem with one because she didn't understand how to respect our common space or my private space. It was hard to deal with because she was my best friend at the time and I couldn't stand our constant fighting over such petty living space issues... it ruined our friendship. I've also lived with a few random roommates and had similar issues with one. All in all, I don't think it matters if you choose to live with a friend or a random roommate because a good living situation boils down to individuals and their compatibility.

Jeny 4 years 37 weeks

I say living with ANYONE is a bad idea.. I did it with my ex fiance and will never live with a guy again until marriage. I DEFINITELY WOULD NOT live with any of my girlfriends.. My best friend lives 4 doors down from me and it's so perfect because we hang out all the time, carpool to the gym, have movie night at her place, dinner and wine night at my place... but the great thing is, is that she can go home whenever and has her own apartment and privacy.. PERFECT!

Jeny 4 years 37 weeks

HeidiMD 4 years 37 weeks

I would feel more comfortable living with someone I knew prior to moving day, but that's just me. I lived with my best friend when I was in medical school, and it was a great decision. We'd known one another so long that we knew what each others' buttons were, and it was great to have a friend to come home to when I had a crappy day and just needed to blow off some steam.

LoveSarah 4 years 37 weeks

Depends on the friend. Some friends I could live with, others I wouldn't even want to think about living with!

LoveSarah 4 years 37 weeks

Depends on the friend.Some friends I could live with, others I wouldn't even want to think about living with!

chocolatine 4 years 37 weeks

Successful cohabitation is all about lifestyle compatibility, friends or not. I'm an introvert, so I *need* my peace and quiet, otherwise I get very cranky. I'd never move in with anybody who I know is very social and likes to have lots of people over all the time. It's not wrong, just not who I am. I've lived with a friend who is also an introvert, and we got along great; I've also lived with strangers who turned out to be extravets, and it was a disaster.

sparklestar 4 years 37 weeks

I lived with friends at University and I only speak to one of them now. ;p I moved in with somebody who I considered to be one of my best friends after a breakup at the start of the year. She needed a room mate and I needed somewhere to live, sharpish! Anyway, we don't speak now and she claims I owe her money. She went skitz during my dissertation and I got lower grades on most of my essays because I was so scared to be in the house and had to turn off my laptop at 11pm so it wouldn't disturb her! Crazy. Bad idea I say.

sparklestar 4 years 37 weeks

I lived with friends at University and I only speak to one of them now. ;pI moved in with somebody who I considered to be one of my best friends after a breakup at the start of the year. She needed a room mate and I needed somewhere to live, sharpish!Anyway, we don't speak now and she claims I owe her money. She went skitz during my dissertation and I got lower grades on most of my essays because I was so scared to be in the house and had to turn off my laptop at 11pm so it wouldn't disturb her!Crazy.Bad idea I say.

g1amourpuss 4 years 37 weeks

Oh gosh, I really love living with other girls/roommates/girlfriends whatever... but I really LUV living alone much more ultimately.

foudini 4 years 37 weeks

There is a reason finances are the number one problem in relationships. In the case of roommates, it's non-paying friends. You can kick out a delinquent stranger but a friend is a different matter. You're far less likely to really confront the issue head-on. I know someone going through this right now. Their friend has been delinquent for almost a year. Obviously there is a lot of other backstory to this but that remains the main point. Unfortunately the delinquent has a parasite bf also milking the generosity of their friend/landlord. It's sickening.

ilanac13 4 years 37 weeks

i've lived with a variety of people, some who i was friends with and some who were complete strangers, and to be honest, i think that i've had a better time with complete strangers. the roommates that i went into it as friends, well 75% of them i am no longer friends with. you find out a lot more about someone when you're living with them, and sometimes you don't like what you see, whereas with random people, you have no expectations so you form your own opinion as you go along. i actually still talk to a few people that i lived with years and years ago that i didn't know until i walked in the door to my apt and we met.

mnp 4 years 37 weeks

I think living with your friends is a better idea than living with strangers. I have lived with strangers who became really good friends with me. And, I have lived with strangers who I never got close to and that was not good. We never had dinners together or chat. It was awkward all the time. Anywho, at least with friends, you know them well enough that you know which ones will make good roommates and the ones who'll drive you bonkers.

pippins_halfling 4 years 37 weeks

I've only done the living with someone I don't know, but I am living with friends this year. The first one didn't work out so well with me. I hope living with friends works out well for me.

Seka21 4 years 37 weeks

you have to be careful and BOTH in relationships. Casual dating doesnt work as the second you becomes attached or starts dating more the other starts getting angry and feels alone. CUE THE FIGHTS.. but not big ones. Small catty comments that eat away at you. I was just a nightmare with me. I had such jealous friends and they turned out to be so nasty. They always stole my stuff and ruined my make up. I didnt really know them at all until i lived with them!

Seka21 4 years 37 weeks

you have to be careful and BOTH in relationships. Casual dating doesnt work as the second you becomes attached or starts dating more the other starts getting angry and feels alone. CUE THE FIGHTS.. but not big ones. Small catty comments that eat away at you.I was just a nightmare with me. I had such jealous friends and they turned out to be so nasty. They always stole my stuff and ruined my make up. I didnt really know them at all until i lived with them!

allourregrets 4 years 37 weeks

Ive never lived with someone who I was already friends with. So Im not sure. I did move in with 2 other girls that were total strangers and we ended up becoming really good friends.

bluebellknoll 4 years 37 weeks

I have lived with all of my close friends at one point or another. I bought a house in my early twenties and needed roommates! My friends still joke that I was operating a half-way house for all of them.

Lavinie 4 years 37 weeks

i moved in with a friend as a roommate and i don't recommend it.. we were friends but never super close... and i think if you are gonna move in with a friend, then it should be someone that your super close with - because than you won't mind being who you are or afraid of stepping on some toes - but when it's someone your friends with but not that close - your still a lil more careful and may easily get annoyed.. so next time - i'll just go for a stranger

Lavinie 4 years 37 weeks

Pallas Athena 4 years 37 weeks

I agree with what the other posters said. I know that my best friend and I would be perfect living together and even some of my other friends. I know there are some I definitely wouldn't live with, but then again we aren't extremely close.

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