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DearSugar Needs Your Help: Why Did He Wait to Tell Me This?


DearSugar and Blindsided Betsy need your help. Her husband just came clean and told her that he's unhappy in their relationship and has been for quite a while now. She doesn't understand why they didn't have this conversation before they got married and she's both devastated and angry. Do you have any advice for her?

Dear Sugar,

I have been with my husband for six and a half years (married for one), and two weeks ago, he came to me and told me that he isn't fulfilled in our relationship and hasn't been for some time now. He said that I am a wonderful, gorgeous, perfect wife/woman, but my communication skills are lacking and my conversation isn't stimulating enough for him. He doesn't know what he wants to do, but he does know that he isn't happy. Mind you he's never said anything to me about this before — never!

I feel like I've given so much to this relationship, including moving to another state and giving up the job I loved, and this is what I get in return? The fact that he's decided to tell me that he doesn't feel like we're "compatible" after we're already married upsets me to no end. We are going to counseling for the next three months, but there are no guarantees that anything will change in his mind, and quite frankly, I feel like the damage he's caused is irreversible. I love him and always thought he loved me too, so has our entire relationship been a sham? I just don't know what to think anymore and I fear that I've wasted seven years of my life only to become a divorcée. I don't know what to do now so any advice would be a huge help. — Blindsided Betsy

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