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DearSugar Needs Your Help: Should I Relocate For Him?


My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now. Everything is great with us and he is the first guy that I can definitely see myself spending my life with. The only problem is that he lives 40 minutes away from me (south) and I work 20 minutes north of where I live now. He's recently started to move forward with plans to build his dream house, just a few blocks from his current home, on family land. He's asked me to move in with him and while that sounds amazing, I'd have to drive an hour to work and another hour home (without factoring in traffic and/or potential accidents). He said he understands my point and knows a relationship is about compromise, but he isn't willing to build elsewhere.

I am a teacher and often have to stay late for various things during the school year, and at times, come in to catch up on the weekends, so living an hour away from work seems like a major headache. I even thought of finding a school closer to him, but I would have to take a $10,000 - $15,000 pay cut due to different state laws. Another con on my list is that my family and friends live an hour or more away from him. I brought this up and he said, "It's not like you will never see them. It's only an hour drive." I'm just so used to living in the city where everything is close and he has a more "country" mindset.

I love this man and want to spend my life with him, but I don't know what to do! I don't see myself living that far from work, family, and friends but I also don't see myself with anyone other than my boyfriend. Help!

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