I think this is a big decision, obviously, and too many unknowns to give you a pat answer.

I am a bit biased about this, because I think career is important, but I personally would not give up a job in a competitive field in a city you obviously love to move in with a boyfriend of a year and a half. I personally would not move anywhere for a guy unless I had a commitment and a ring on my finger.

Before you make any decisions about this, I would research the job opportunities in Connecticut. If the job situation there sucks, and you move, you will be unhappy and eventually it will affect your relationship. It puts pressure on your boyfriend, because you are the one who made the sacrifice, and now it is HIS turn to follow through with moving the relationship forward....will he do that during a time frame that is satisfactory to you, or will you be in a bad job there until he is out of Law School, through his first years as an associate in a firm, etc.?

I think you need to get more information about available jobs in Connecticut and also what is going on in your boyfriend's head about the relationship before you decide.

I think you should stay in New York since it's probably the best place to advance a career in fashion. He won't be in school forever - perhaps consider long distance?

I live in NY and am in law school and one of my really good friends at school is from CT and she goes home all the time. I would say consider doing a long distance relationship for a little while. CT and NY are not that far apart and it wouldn't be that hard for you guys to see each other. Also, if you really love your job you should wait and see if your relationship can continue to grow stronger while being apart to see if he is really worth quitting your job for. Law school is a lot of work and makes you crazy so even if you did move to CT with him there is no guarantee your relationship would survive the new changes in your lives--him being in school and you being in a new place and a new job, and you wouldn't want to risk giving up a job that you love, especially since NY is one of the best places to work in the fashion industry. Also you have to take the economy into consideration. Now is not really the time to be quitting jobs when you have one and looking for another one since the job market isn't exactly booming right now.

Whatever you decide I wish you the best of luck!

NY and CT aren't too far apart. I vote stay.

Why move now? When I moved to grad school my boyfriend planned on moving across the country to be with me, but had to plan for 6 months. Don't move first - have a job there first and be able to pursue your own dreams there. Also, you'll be able to see how strong your bond is be doing long-distance, which is a real make or break for a relationship. Just do 6 months of that, and see if you're ready to move at the end. How long is his grad school? If it's only a Masters, I'd say stay put, do long distance, and if you are still together when he finishes, move somewhere together. If it's longer, so long distance for a few months and see if you can possibly find a job there while re-evaluating your relationship's strength. But I definitely wouldn't ove immediately from New York - especially if he's just in grad school and you might not have a job. That's also a stressful financial situation.

*move

Personally, though it might be really hard, I think you should stay. Moving and changing everything for a guy you have been with a year and a half might not work out in the long run. Your relationship is so new. As smileyface said Law school is hard and time consuming. You may start to resent him if you moved there for him but he doesn't have time for you... I would say if you two are meant to be together you can make the distance thing work. Good luck! I wish you the best.

This is crazy of him to ask of you, I think. Are you really really serious about this guy, like about ready to marry him serious?

Both of you want the same thing: to make something of yourself, get your careers set up. Unless you're not getting anywhere in New York *right now* with your fashion career, why move? He can go to school and get a job as a lawyer almost anywhere - especially in New York. It's only three years, and he'll be pretty busy and stressed out with law school, which will probably put a lot of strain on your relationship even if you DON'T move with him. Why would he and you want to put yourselves through that?

I could understand maybe if you were about to marry him or something, it might be worth considering. But he should recognize that you're in one of the better environments to make YOUR career a success - is he afraid your relationship won't survive the distance? If he's THAT insecure about it, it's something to question.

While you have to decide what's more important - moving away from the best opportunities for your career and possibly resenting him for it, or staying so that you can stand independently of him, whether or not your relationship lasts, you should know that your career will be what stays with you. Your boyfriend may not.

Don't give up your dream. Stay in New York. Connecticut is not that far away. I also agree that now is not a good time to be quitting a job when so many people are out of work.

If you are going to make a career-changing decision there needs to be a ring on your finger. You know that and he knows that (yes, he does). Think about if that is what you want and talk to him to see if that is what he wants. If you start a long-distance relationship without this talk and without any firm plans to be in the same city in the future it won't work.

And like you said, your priorities have changed over the years. Don't let anyone tell you to stay with your career or to move with him, because their priorities may be different. Do what will make you happy in life.

Stay in NYC, CT is not that far away you can visit on the weekends and you both can focus on your careers.

I'm in graduate school in Connecticut right now and I know so many people with significant others in New York. There is absolutely a way to make the long distance work, and if you really like this guy you owe it to yourselves to give it a shot. If this particular law school happens to be along the coast, the Metro North has over 20 trains a day back and forth to the city and it's a relatively cheap commute (around 30 dollars round trip if you travel at off peak times). Don't give up your job or your relationship. It will take some adjusting, and in the long run it will either work out or it won't, but I highly recommend trying (heck I've been doing DC to Connecticut for 2 years with my BF and things are still going great). Good luck!

NY and CT are right next to eachother. why don't you see him on the weekends or why don't you move in the middle point of where you both are that way your relationship still has a middle ground. theres so many options. you don't need to give up your dream job or your boyfriend.

I agree that you should stay and have a long distance (more like short distance) relationship. NY and CT aren't that far apart, and it's important for both of you to develop independently at this point in your lives. Law school is really important for his future, and so is advancing your career with all the job opportunities available in New York. Neither of you should be sacrificing those things. It's not like you're a married couple yet.

However, keep looking for work in CT. If you find something good, that'll be perfect.

Stay in New York - my cousin commutes every day from NY to CT so he can stay in the city but keep his job in CT...so it is not that far, you can visit every weekend or he can. It'll be long distance but your career matters a lot which you have clearly stated. I think it is kind of dumb of him to expect you to move, but it is sweet of him to ask.

Uh, trust that this is not that time in which you can say nonsense such as, "I could probably find a fashion editorial job in Connecticut". You'd probably go a very long time before finding steady employment in Boston. Stay where you are.

Having gone to law school, I can tell you that your guy will barely have time to sneeze when it comes to anything but his education. If I were you, I think that I would opt to stay in New York and commute on the weekends. Best of luck, which ever way you opt!

Go after your dreams and let your heart follow them. If your dreams are something you really want let no one and nothing get in your way. Resentment usually follows if you do. My ex and I used to get into mini fights because I wanted to go into law enforcement, and I was willing to give it up for her because she didn't want me to. My dreams eventually changed but they're still there and may surface. Basically we almost broke up because I wasn't willing to let her get in the way of them. After all, there are more cows in the field. If she couldn't follow through even if she supported me, then I'm sure someone else would =P.

ny and ct are so close- do long distance for a while. you just need to put in the effort. my roommate and her bf are in ny and ct too and they are doing just fine.

This sounds similar to my life - I've been in a relationship for 3 years w/ my boyfriend, he got accepted to law school at Michigan, and he has asked if I want to go with (+ I live in NYC). In terms of fields, however, I could go anywhere (education), and I have decided to go, but also more because my family & friends are IN Michigan.

I hear a lot of women saying, "Make sure there is a ring on your finger before you go, and have major commitment," but I don't think that's always necessarily the case. For me, law school is going to be an opportunity to see if this IS someone I want to spend the rest of my life with due to the stressful environment law school and being a lawyer brings that my boyfriend is currently unfamiliar with. I have rarely seen him overwhelmed as his work hasn't caused him to be. I dated a lawyer before, long-distance, and there really was no time for me. We tried, but it just wasn't working. This time I go guarded.

My current boyfriend and I have decided that once he has secured a stable job (after his 2nd year, fingers crossed), we'll get engaged. We have a plan, we just know right now, w/ the finances law school brings, it's not realistic.

I do, however, agree with these ladies. You are in NYC vs. Connecticut, and during the week, he won't have as much time for you. You have a great job, and I think you can make it work from the distance. You can always stay here, and if you find that it's not worth it, then start pushing your resume out there first. Secure something for yourself before you take the leap. That way, if something does end poorly, you know how you're going to handle yourself and not resent the choice you made.

Good luck to you!

I wouldn't make the assumption that you could find a good job in your field just anywhere, that's all I really have to add to this discussion. Times are tough and I think I would look for jobs in CT before really thinking this through. Being in love but unemployed isn't exactly a fairy tale either.

Connecticut is not exactly offering up jobs by the dozen right now. I just had to change jobs and it was not easy! Granted it's not in the same field at all, but I hear that all markets are kind of tough. Personally I would stay, and do the "long distance"...It's not even THAT long of a distance really! He won't be in school forever, and while he is, he's not going to have alot of time for you even if you are right there. The weekend commute is the best option for you guys if you ask me. It seems like its going to be terrible but I promise, it's not excruciating..you will survive!

Fuzzles is absolutely right. The first year of law school sucks up so much of a student's time that it won't matter that you don't live in the same town. As CT and NY are so close, you can always visit when you both have time. And if you are able to ride trains to visit, he can study while commuting to see you! Or, you could ask him to stay in NY. If he can ask you to sacrifice something, you can ask the same of him!

Fuzzles is absolutely right. The first year of law school sucks up so much of a student's time that it won't matter that you don't live in the same town. As CT and NY are so close, you can always visit when you both have time. And if you are able to ride trains to visit, he can study while commuting to see you! Or, you could ask him to stay in NY. If he can ask you to sacrifice something, you can ask the same of him!

stay in NYC. thoses kind of jobs in fashion industry is hard to come by. and i live in ct and i can tell you now your gonna have a hard time finding work. there arent many creative jobs here. i tried.

It sounds like this is a non-issue. How many trains run between NYC and CT a day? None of those are very long rides, either.

ESPNgirl, good luck with that securing a job after his 2nd year we'll get engaged. Not all law students secure a job for post graduation their second year. And especially now with the economy the way it is a lot of firms are not hiring and rescinding offers they already made. Hopefully since he is just starting law school by the time the end of his 2nd year comes around the economy will have changed for the better, but even if that happens there will be a lot of already graduated and passed the bar lawyers to compete with. I'm not trying to be a downer, but I'm just trying to offer some realistic expectations from someone who is currently in her 2nd year of school and having trouble trying to find a summer associate position, let alone a job for after I graduate next year. But good luck to your boyfriend in school and to you in your move and new job.

Smileyface, I mean, that's our goal. We are really practical people who want to make sure that we have financial stability before getting engaged. Knowing he is going to a top ten law school definitely makes me optimistic, but I know the realities of what could happen (and remind him of them daily). Hence, the fingers crossed

I also wanted to add - at 25, without a ring and with a good job somewhere, I wouldn't have moved for *anyone*. 29, 30 is a very different matter especially if the two of you are thinking about children. NY to CT is an easy commute - I have a couple of friends who live in midtown and commute to Connectict every day for work. Not a big deal. The 20s are a time to build up savings and develop your education or career, so stick with that.

You can have both, follow your dreams and your heart! Like others said, CT is not far away! You can see each other on weekends. If your relationship is strong, the distance won't be a problem... Don't give up on your dream career, you won't be able to go back to the position you're at now. It's a one time oportunity!

NYC is an EASY train ride to CT. Don't leave your dreams, but also let him live his. If your love is meant to last, it will survive this little long distance rift that might happen for a bit while you two are apart. You can hang out on the weekends too, its not like he is in California or anything!

You don't say no to Yale Law, even if NYU and Columbia are great.
And you don't leave a fashion editor position in NYC.

Date long distance (though to be honest --is it long distance when a significant amount of people commute from CT to NYC?). First of all, law school sucks that first year. He is going to be busy-- so why move up to be with somebody who should absolutely be bonding with his 1L class and working his a$$ off. Be together on the weekend. It's manageable really it is.

Good luck!

Emjay, I 100% agree! It's not even really long distance. Seriously, OP, you can work it out. After all, you're not going to have a lot of weekdays spent on quality time with each other.

u can move and commute (metro north)

This is a huge decision that could potentially change your life forever. I have been in a similiar situation. I too live in NY and my fiance was offered a job in CT. We really had to talk about compromise and where we saw our future long term. Is he from NY? If so, most likely after school he will want to return. This should be discussed. How important is your career to you? Do you see yourself settling down, raising kids or is your career something you want to pursue long term? You need to be happy too. In this situation, someone needs to compromise. It seems to me that his situation maybe a little more flexible than yours. It really depends on what your priorities are. The last thing you want to do is feel resentment against him for following his dreams and abandoning yours. Good luck!

This is a huge decision that could potentially change your life forever. I have been in a similiar situation. I too live in NY and my fiance was offered a job in CT. We really had to talk about compromise and where we saw our future long term. Is he from NY? If so, most likely after school he will want to return. This should be discussed. How important is your career to you? Do you see yourself settling down, raising kids or is your career something you want to pursue long term? You need to be happy too. In this situation, someone needs to compromise. It seems to me that his situation maybe a little more flexible than yours. It really depends on what your priorities are. The last thing you want to do is feel resentment against him for following his dreams and abandoning yours. Good luck!

Pick your career. If he wants to try a LDR, then that's great, but I wouldn't move for him.

If your relationship can't stand a 5 day out of 7 separations, why bother? I am sure you could make it up to him every weekend. I also think that you would have a lot of 'separation to the demands of earning a LLD. Your boyfriend’s early career will depend on making the law review, which means excellent grades, and the competition is keen. That means STUDY

Follow your hearth whispered and you will get the answer.... at the moment you're on big confused so keep mediate and reflecting it and ask your deep hearth that there are only comes as a dream to my life and before you make the decision, please be prayed first and than be argued with him wisely, i am sure that at the end God will help you in solving your worried and confusing...trust me...

Follow your hearth whispered and you will get the answer.... at the moment you're on big confused so keep mediate and reflecting it and ask your deep hearth that there are only comes as a dream to my life and before you make the decision, please be prayed first and than be argued with him wisely, i am sure that at the end God will help you in solving your worried and confusing...trust me...

In this economy I would not give up a great job that you love. I'm not as optimistic as you are that you would find a similar job in CT even if on a smaller scale. And right now, it's unlikely there is a lot of hiring going on. As someone mentioned, you should check out the job market before moving. Consider all your options.

You have only been with him 1 1/2 yrs and even if you have talked about marriage, he hasn't committed and proposed has he. Lots of couples talk about marriage, then end up breaking up. It doesn't seem fair for you to have to give up a great job in such uncertain times while he's going to law school. If he ends up getting a great job in NY after law school, is he going to expect you to move again? I'm not familiar with the area, but don't a lot of people commute from CT to NYC? So wouldn't it be fairly easy to have a long distance relationship? Or maybe you could commute to your job?

If I were you, I would keep my job. Never, ever give up your dreams for someone else. If you do, you might regret it for the rest of your life. If your relationship is meant to be, it will last. Good luck to you and I hope you make the right decision for you.

Do LDR to give yourself more time to make a comfortable decisions. You guys are close enough to commute. It will give you time to see what your life is like without him in it and also give you more time to see where your career is or isn't going.

this is just RIDICULOUS... do you know how close connecticut and ny are? if he loves you - he will do the "long" distance thing so that both of you can continue to work hard and achieve your goals.

I'm sorry, but he can practice law anywhere. You are in fashion. You do not go from NYC to Connecticut to climb the fashion ladder.

As everyone else has said, NYC and Connecticut are not too far. Do the long distance thing for now; if your relationship is strong enough, it will pull through.

One thing you should definitely discuss is if your bf plans on coming back to NYC after he is done with or during his time off from school. After you've had that conversation, start making your decision.

And, not to be all anti-love, but I agree with WeTheLiving: "You have only been with him 1 1/2 yrs and even if you have talked about marriage, he hasn't committed and proposed has he. Lots of couples talk about marriage, then end up breaking up."
Just because he says he will marry you in a few years does not mean that he (or you!) won't change his (or your) mind. Happened to me after 2+ years and a "as soon as I get a stable job and enough money" promise. Has happened to many others! Don't move unless this is something you really want to do for yourself.