DearSugar Needs Your Help: She's Afraid to Be Intimate Again

by DearSugar 22

DearSugar and Weary Wendy need your help. After an unexpected pregnancy and miscarriage, she's afraid to become intimate again with her boyfriend. They love each other very much, but she's scared. If any of you have been in a similar situation, she'd love some advice.

My boyfriend and I recently found out I was pregnant. It was a shock because we've always used multiple forms of protection. We were in a really bad position to have a child, both still in college and living 400 miles apart. When I told him the news, we both broke down. We fell asleep holding hands and crying on the couch. Two days later, I had an early miscarriage. As upsetting as an unplanned pregnancy was, this miscarriage was also pretty hard on both of us, but my boyfriend has been unwavering in his support for me. After the first night, he apologized for reacting so selfishly and for not acknowledging what I was going through. Since then, he's been the most amazing partner I could ever hope for. In the wake of these sad surprises, our relationship has become stronger and our level of intimacy has grown exponentially.

My problem, though, is that both of us are nervous to be sexually active again, especially since when we conceived, we were using a condom and I was on the pill. Neither of us wants to be in this position again so do you have any advice for us? Was this just a fluke?

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