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DearSugar Needs Your Help: I'm a Punished Bridesmaid!

DearSugar Needs Your Help: I'm a Punished Bridesmaid!


DearSugar and Being Punished Betsy need your help. She's a bridesmaid in her cousin's wedding and the bride doesn't want her to bring a date. She feels like she's being punished because she's not in a serious relationship, so what should she do since she doesn't want to go alone?

Dear Sugar,
My cousin is getting married in the Spring; she's a month older than me and we've been raised almost like sisters. I'm in the bridal party and am flying in with my parents from out of town. I want my best friend (he's gay) to be my date for the wedding, but when I asked her, she said that she "really needs me to be there for her 100 percent," even though her sister is the maid of honor and she has four other bridesmaids. We had this conversation several months ago but I didn't tell my friend that my cousin said no because he wasn't sure if he would be able to come anyway.

He just told me today that he is free that weekend and that he'd love to be my date. The more I think about it the more I feel that I should be able to bring someone. If I were to get married next year and had my cousin in my wedding, it would be understood that she could bring her husband the same way it would be understood that my friend would come if he was my boyfriend.

My parents love him so I know that if I were to be busy or preoccupied with helping her or doing something for the wedding, he'd be OK — he's a big social butterfly as it is — so I don't understand what the big deal is. I get that my cousin wants this opportunity to have the spotlight, (as she should ) but is asking to bring a date an unreasonable request? I feel as though I'm being punished for being single! I don't want to cause problems before her special day but I truly don't want to go stag. What should I do? — Being Punished Betsy

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