DearSugar and Searching Sandra need your help. While in a five-year relationship, she lost track of the person she is and the woman she wants to become. Now that she and her boyfriend have split up, she wants to find herself, but she doesn't know how. Do you have any advice for her?
My on-again, off-again boyfriend of five years broke up with me a few days ago. We’d had the same problems since the beginning of our relationship and we knew they were never going to get better — we just weren't right for each other. Part of the problem was instead of growing with him, I depended on him for happiness and didn’t bother to discover who I really was. I was never truly satisfied because I didn't know what I really wanted out of life. I know that only I can make myself truly happy, but I just don’t know how to get there. So my question is, how do you get to know yourself? What should I do to get the clarity I need to move on with my life as an independent woman? — Searching Sandra