Dear Poll: If Your One Night Stand Got You Pregnant...

November 6, 2007

In a previous poll, 41 percent of you said you were all for casual sex, but only 11 percent admitted to having a one night stand. Regardless of the kind of sexual partners you've had, sometimes we aren't as safe as we should be, leaving some chance for unexpected pregnancy.

So what would you do if you found out you were pregnant by a man you had no intention of pursuing a relationship with or ever seeing again? Whether you are pro-life or pro-choice, what I want to know is, would you tell the man who knocked you up that you were pregnant or would you make your decision on what to do all on your own?

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72 Comments

Kimberly3080575 39 weeks 3 days

I'm not going to read the comments, because I'm sure half of them would only make me angry. But to put my two cents in, I was in this situation in November, after finding out I got pregnant from a one-night stand that happened in September. I was still acquaintances with the guy, which is why I told him. If I had never seen him again, I doubt I would have gone to great lengths to seek him out and tell him. It did not "ruin his life". In fact, he did not let it ruin his life, since he denied paternity anyhow. I thought he should know since both of us were involved in this, and both of us deserved to know. He wanted me to have an abortion, and I refused. I ended up giving birth to a beautiful baby girl two months ago, and I have not talked the the father in a while, but at least he does know about the situation. (And I never asked him for child support or anything like that either).

1 year 52 weeks

Just want to say im all for letting the the guy know and dealing with the descion together like adults for a mistake you both made, but saying things like think of the child support is the most horrible thing iv read!! its a person life your talking about not your bank account, and if your saying things like that perhaps you should not even consider bringing a child into the world!

2 years 44 weeks

As simple as "I wouldn't be careless in the first place" or "I'd just get the morning after pill" might seem, I'm a statistical living nightmare to show sometimes, no matter how much the odds are stacked against you, sometimes things just unavoidably happen. I had my first son, with my ex-partner, in September 2009. We separated in January 2010, and for the first time since I had my son last year, I had sex with a man I've known as a friend nearly all my life. We had been to a party, were drunk, it was a one-time thing with no relationship prospects, we used protection but the condom broke. Following the condom breaking we went to the pharmacy the next morning and got the Morning After Pill. With a 95% effectiveness, you'd think we were clear sailing. We are now anything but. I've just had my pregnancy confirmed, I'm 5 1/2 weeks gone, despite trying to prevent such a thing from happening. I've told the father as it is his right to know. We won't be pursuing a relationship, however I intend to keep the child, and it will receive as much love as my other child does from me. Some of you might think this is selfish and wrong, but I know that I personally would not be able to physically attend an abortion clinic. It's not even a moral thing to me, I believe everyone has a choice, but I am choosing not to...

2 years 48 weeks

I would make my decision on my own and only tell him after I was further into the pregnancy so abortion wouldn't even be an option.

Anneleah 2 years 51 weeks

I'd tell him, but will not ask for anything, its upto him. He has the right to know. Its your fault being irresponsible of the actions that you've done, definitely he's not expecting that coz it's a <a href="http://mysexystories.com/blog/2010/05/03/the-art-of-the-1-night-stand/"> 1 night stand</a>. Just tell him and dont ruin his life..

Anneleah 2 years 51 weeks

I'd tell him, but will not ask for anything, its upto him. He has the right to know. Its your fault being irresponsible of the actions that you've done, definitely he's not expecting that coz it's a 1 night stand. Just tell him and dont ruin his life..

3 years 3 weeks

I would tell him - but saying its because you dont want to go through it alone is ridiculous. Just because you tell him it doesnt mean he will have any part in the situation and may make you feel even worse about your choices. Speaking from experience, a guy who you dont know probably doesnt want to be tied to you for the rest of your life with a child - so unless you're really strong and ready to go through with it despite his protests, I would really think about why you're telling him and if you really need his support (other than financially).

3 years 23 weeks

Well, I am going thru this as we speak. I am 10 weeks and 5 days pregnant by a guy who I have known for 6 years but our relationship has just been random hook ups over the years, although I am very good friends with his sister. It was a drunken nite that I wish I could take back but since I knew we didnt use anything, I made sure way ahead of time to let him know I was not on the pill. He decided to go in me anyway and now hear we are almost 3 months later. I decided to take responsibility for my mistake. I had 2 different appointments for an abortion but could not bring myself to do it. It is not this child's fault. I am almost 27 years old, work at a bank and have my own place and I know that I am very capable of taking care of this child. I told the father and after 6 weeks of not speaking to me, he has finally decided to be a part of it all. It is a scary situation but I am giving this child a chance at life and that's all that matters. You never know what you will do till you are faced with it. And to all of those who say they would never have a one nite stand or be put in this kinda situation...never say never. I'm not proud of my actions but I am not alone and I am proud of the decision I've made.

3 years 41 weeks

I'm in this situation now. I live with one of my good guy friends, and we drank way too much one night and ended up sleeping together. I want an abortion. Do I tell him, since he is a good friend??

3 years 48 weeks

1: If you decide to keep the baby, it should be your SOLE responsibility as it's your SOLE decision to keep it. 1a: If the child ever decide to seek the father later in life, give it all the information they may need. 1b: ALL medical information should be supplied by the father. 2: If you decide to have an abortion both parties involved should be present for all obligations in the process. ------------------------------------- The plan was for cheap sex, not a family. Get it straight. Don't make this into something it's not.

3 years 49 weeks

I am 22 weeks pregnant with a little girl conceived from a one night stand. I can honestly say that I have never been happier. I was so freaked out about it at first because I thought there was no way I could do this on my own but with God's help I have made it though. I told the father when I was about 3 months and he was very upset about my decision but I have not asked for child support and don't plan to. I feel that it is my responsibility and I am mature enough to see it the baby as that, a responsibility, not a mistake. I think it is very important for people to realize that if you have a one night stand you run the risk of getting pregnant, even with birth control (trust me) and you need to be ready to accept your responsibility instead of running to the abortion clinic.

4 years 2 weeks

It has happened to me twice so far. When I was 14 and at 15. (Now I am 16). One night stand is for fun, not making kids. I just went to a gynecologist and had an abortion, without telling anyone about it.

shean 4 years 7 weeks

agree with you totally, Lovaajn! Asking for a child support from one nite stand? nonesense...nobody wants this to happen..if it's the girl's decision to keep the child, it's her respondsibility to take care of the child too. This happend to me 5 months ago..I didn't call him or even let anyone know about this. When I found out I was just 5-week pregnent, so I went to the doctor's and took the abortion pill. I have to admit that it's kind of sad to deal with all these by myslef, but it's the right decision. It's the one nite stand we're talking about here, not some kind of rape case!

Lovaajn 5 years 27 weeks

Oh, I'd have an abortion. But...if I didn't have an abortion (I would) I'd tell the dad. And not for the money, I'd tell the dad for the CHILD'S sake. Jesus people...really, for the money? That is the kind of thing that give women a bad name. That's why men think women are all about the money. Shit.

KristinDaBomb 5 years 27 weeks

I honestly don't know.

KristinDaBomb 5 years 27 weeks

I honestly don't know.

darlene 5 years 27 weeks

I'd tell him

darlene 5 years 27 weeks

I'd tell him

demeter 5 years 27 weeks

I honestly do not know.

demeter 5 years 27 weeks

I honestly do not know.

snitzelv 5 years 27 weeks

i would tell him because every body has the right to know!!!!!!!! the decision is completely up to u though if u dont know this person than u have to make the right choice for urself!!!!

Historygal3 5 years 27 weeks

I would only tell him if I'm planning on keeping the baby.

InfernalMari 5 years 27 weeks

Well, I'd take the morning after pill so fast...also, I don't believe in one night stands as I have no way of knowing if they're clean or not. And I always carry a condom. So wow, does this not apply to me. Anywho, in the highly unlikely situation, it's none of his damn business what I do with my body.

lovelylei 5 years 27 weeks

its hard to say because I don't see myself ever having a one night stand in the first place. if I ever did, it depends on everything else as to if I tell him or not. I'd definitely get rid of it though.

Babychloe 5 years 27 weeks

I wouldn't tell him unless I decided to keep the baby. At that point I think he has a right to know.

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