Dear Poll: Would You Date a Man With a Kid?

October 4, 2007

I went on a date once with a man who told me — on the way to dinner, mind you — that he had a 10-year-old son with an ex-girlfriend. I am not one to judge, but at that time in my life, I wasn't too keen on the idea of dating a man with a child. As I have said many times before, I am very traditional when it comes to marriage and family, so ideally, I want to start a family with a man who doesn't already have a family of his own. Granted, if I happen to fall in love with someone who already has kids, so be it, but let me throw it out to all of you — would you date someone with kids?

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62 Comments

Packerfan4 5 years 16 weeks

Stuck in the middle. I have a sister who is raising a beautiful daughter all on her own. The father isn't and chose not to be in the picture from the very begining (blessing in disquise). Not that my niece is 5 my sister has finally had some time to date and she has met a great guy who doen't have a family and he gets along with my niece perfectly. However I am dating a guy who has a son with one of those crazy exgirlfriends. There is baggage and tension whenever he has his son. I try not to focus on their problems and look more at that little boy and whats for him. No I will never be his "mom" but when he is older he'll remember who was really there. I don't have kids of my own yet but I plan on it. If it's with this guy then great...a premade family is still a family no matter how you look at it. Someone said that you can't love someone elses as much as your own...I say ask any parent that has ever adopted and they might have something to say about that.

Jeng112 5 years 32 weeks

Only if the relationship is long over, he's civil but not too friendly with the ex, and he plays an active role in the childs life. These are all signs of maturity, and since I myself am divorced, I can testify that sometimes you make a bad life choice with the wrong person.

chatondeneige 5 years 32 weeks

I'm so young right now that I wouldn't be willing to date someone with children of his own - not because I want to start fresh or don't want to deal with exes (someone tell me how to avoid that!,) but I just don't feel like they'd be on the same emotional level as I am. I'm still at the point where I'm irresponsible and flaky, I don't want to impose that on a guy with real-world responsibilities! Maybe in a few years when I grow up a little bit. :)

-Maryan- 5 years 32 weeks

No, I want to have my own family.

CandyCane 5 years 33 weeks

Actually I do and it doesn't really bother me, me and his ex-wife get along just fine.

ShoeWhoreDre 5 years 33 weeks

Been there, done that and never ever again! Too much baby mama drama!

juliemyjewel 5 years 33 weeks

Tokenguy, I wouldn't date a man with kids. I also wouldn't blame a man for not dating a woman with kids..not at all.

FB1977 5 years 33 weeks

Oh I wanted to add also that I'm 30 now, but I doubt I would have been so keen on it in my early twenties.

FB1977 5 years 33 weeks

It's funny, I used to be like a lot of you saying no way, never...and my mom would always say oh you can't help who you fall in love with honey, and boy was she ever right (as always). I always said never would I, and then I met my current boyfriend, who's been married before & has 2 kids. I'm not going to say it's easy, but I love him & his kids so I don't mind at all.

Lovely_1 5 years 33 weeks

Nope, espiecailly at my age I wouldn't! I'm only 20, I dont' want to ahe to be responsible for someone elses child. That's why I take the precautions I do now.

LadyLibertine 5 years 33 weeks

I think it would be on a case by case situation. How close are he to his kids, what is the situation with the ex wife or ex partner. Is there any possible more that could happen, either for the kids or for just love. How long into the relationship am I, where do I see and or want this to go to. In the end just like all relationships have bumps and things to deal with or things that make it unique and or special. Kids may add to the relationship or break it up. That can happen when you are entering a pre made family or making one of your own.

Jinx 5 years 33 weeks

Its like this post didn't even consider the fact that there would be women with children on here answering this. :mob:

Jinx 5 years 33 weeks

I can understand how some people aren't at that same stage in their lives and want to "start fresh" on their own family. But, um, alot of women, who are dating, have children also, like myself, so I would date a man with a child, because if a man dates me, he'll be dating a woman with a child.

LaLaLaurie06 5 years 33 weeks

I don't know that the reason would be that I wouldn't want to deal with an ex-wife or whatever. But if I marry this guy, I want to have a few years to ourselves before kids start popping up. I'm not looking for a ready-made family.

jessicaeden 5 years 33 weeks

I'd prefer not to, but its not a deal-breaker for me.

xo_verity 5 years 33 weeks

NO! - But not because I want a family of my own. I am never having kids and I'm not the best when it comes to handling kids so I just couldnt date a man with them.

Agent214x 5 years 33 weeks

Of course I would if I was really interested in this guy. The guy I am interested in has 3 children. Doesn't bother me. :]

ninjastarlett 5 years 33 weeks

I'm sorry you're disappointed, tokenguy, but to be fair, the question simply asks the communities for their personal preferences on a hypothetical situation... I'm still pretty young and I still have a lot of (possibly foolish) hopes about what marriage and children will be like for me... so dating someone with children is pretty out of the question as far as that goes.

tokenguy 5 years 33 weeks

I can't believe the reactions here. If the genders were reversed in the question, I think we'd be seeing very different answers here. Frankly, I'm disappointed.

lickety split 5 years 33 weeks

no! i'm married with 3 kids myself, but when i was single i would never have dated a man with children. that was actually one of my requirements; no dependents. and should anything happen to my dh i can't imagine i'd be hot property on the dating scene with 3 little ones, lol.

leeluvfashion 5 years 33 weeks

I'm open to it; I would never say no to a relationship just because he has a kid/kids. Although I think I would have to be at an age where I feel comfortable w/ having kids in my life. I love kids so it would depend on the timing/situation.

designergirl 5 years 33 weeks

I just don't think I could handle all that drama with the kids. I'm not a very nurturing person, so kids would freak me out too much. I think I could only be a good mom to my own. I'm the kind of person who cringes when a child is near them at a restaurant. To each their own.

vmruby 5 years 33 weeks

Yes..... i've only dated one guy who had a child and i married him.From the very start it's worked out well for us and I've never regretted it for a single moment.I have one of the sweetest stepsons any stepmother could ever hope for.I absolutely adore him.

chicaparati17 5 years 33 weeks

Nope, no babymama drama for me. AND if you guys decide to have children one day then the "excitement" wont be the same for him because he's already had his first child..not with you!

sass317 5 years 33 weeks

I have dated a guy with a kid, in fact I was at the hospital when his son was born. The baby wasnt the problem, the bf was- he was irresponsible and an addict and a liar. I accepted the ex and the child, in fact when I called her to tell her that I had kicked him out, she said she understood and that she would miss me bc she knew he would never date anyone else who was as accepting and willing to help as I was. Luckily I dont have to worry about being in that situation again, I married a great guy who has the same kind of views I do (being VERY careful with the birth control until married and wanting to have a baby).

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