Dear Poll: Should the Bride Pay for it?

I think if the bride wants a specific hairstyle and makeup look, she should pay. The bridesmaids already paid for their dresses and shoes. When my friend got married last year, I was a bridesmaid and she said she wanted all of us to have fancy updos, but I had no extra money to pay for it. I wound up having another friend do my hair and it didn't look nearly as good as the other maids who had the money to go to a stylist. It just made me feel bad. I'm getting married in two years and I'm paying for all my girls hair and makeup.

Absolutely. I can do my own hair for free, but if they want something particular, they will have to fork it out.

The bride should most definitely foot the bill if she is requesting specific hair-dos or make-up. Personally I think it is silly to ask all of the 'maids to look a certain way, but that is just me. :) I think the dresses are enough.

When/If I get married I want everyone to look so I would expect to pay for everything associated with my wedding including dresses, shoes, hair, and make-up. I find it extremely rude to ask your wedding party to pay for dresses etc. If the bride can't afford to pay for it than she should limit how many people are in the wedding party.

cubadog, i'm almost with you. i think that it's okay to expect the bridesmaids to pay for their dresses and shoes, within reason. if you, the bride, wants a dress and shoe combo that crosses the $150-$200 range, you need to chip in. asking people to foot the bill for your expensive taste is just too much. so if you ask people to purchase a dress that's $150+, let them know you'll be kicking in for the shoes. if your dress is $130 and your shoes are $80-$90, give them a gift certificate for $40-$50 for the shoes. everything else - matchy purses, jewelry, wraps, hair styles, or makeup - are all on the bride.

honestly, i'm totally willing to pay for the dress if it's something i really like. my friend is paying for all the bridesmaids' dresses but she scrimped on the tailor. the dresses are hideous!! she ended up saving money but i would have totally paid for something nicer (within an ok price range). so now that the dresses are paid for, i'm willing to pay for hair and makeup.

I agree with onesong. My sister just got married, a destination wedding at that, and while we all paid for our dresses (which she kept reasonable knowing everyone was also footing airfare) Then she let us pick which ever shoes we wanted in gols, so a few of us got to reuse old bridesmaids shoes from another wedding. She also footed the hair and make-up for everyone and even then some girls did their own. Her bridesmaid's gift bag were filled with our jewelry, so there was no worrying about that either. She also had a welcome dinner the night everyone arrived, so no one had to worry about feeding themselves in a strange place. It was great.

I think it depends on the cost of everything (dress, etc.) and if everyone is prepared for it. One of my bfs had a hair stylist and makeup artist for her wedding, but the cost was pretty reasonable (I want to say maybe $60-70 total) and we knew about it months before the wedding. We also wore really simple black dress, so they wear completely wearable again, and they only cost about $100. We wore whatever black shoes we wanted, so no one ended up buying new shoes, we wore ones we already had. The bride paid for us all to go and get mani/pedis the day before the wedding. We actually didn't the same hair or makeup styles though, everyone's look was suited to them. The makeup artist was really worth it though, we all looked absolutely amazing and the pictures are gorgeous-they ended up in a bridal magazine!

If the bride demands that you get your hair done, she should pay. I don't think it's wrong for the service to be recommended or suggested and have the maids pay. I know I'd be willing to pay for it if everyone else was doing it just so I didn't look odd.

I paid for my bridesmaids to have their hair done however they wanted, but not because I "demanded" for everyone to look the same, I just wanted everyone to be together and involved in the whole 'getting ready' part of the day...plus, my sisters own the salon so I got a *great* price :)

humm, i had mine done as a "gift" by the bride to be when i stood up for her a few years ago. the bride looked very warm and vibrant and i looked like a corpse. i played along because it was her wedding but i felt fug the whole time. i'd rather do my own makeup. shouldn't i look like me?

I was the maid of honor in my best friend's wedding last year. We all paid for our dresses-we got to pick out which one we wanted from a choice of about 12, she also let us just wear silver shoes, and we could wear whatever silver jewelry we wanted. We all went to get our hair and makeup done together, but one girl did her hair herself and only myself and the bride got our makeup done. We paid for all of these things ourselves, but we also knew that in accepting the honor and responsiblity of being a bridesmaid we were going to have those expenses. The bride did really do a lot to make us comfortable and happy.

A friend of mine got married last weekend and had, months ahead of time, requested that we all get our hair done the same way, which required me to grow my hair out. I got sick of growing it and hacked it off, and she got extremely angry. I think that if a bride expects ANY more from you than buying a dress, she needs to pay for it all. and DON'T request that your bridesmaids grow their hair out. that's cruel. :-P

After having been in a wedding where I forked out a TON of money for an ugly dress and the most uncomfortable shoes I have ever had the misfortune to put on my feet (I was literally limping before the ceremony even started) ugly nails and stupid hair- I was NOT going to do that to my girls when I got married. I went with my MOH to pick the dresses and we picked something that had her twirling around the store singing (seriously) about how much she loved it(and it cost about half what I paid for the ugly dress from the other wedding I was in). It was so flattering on all the girls and they all thanked me for picking such a great dress that they could cut to tea length afterwards and make a fantastic "little black dress". I told them they could wear whatever shoes they wanted to make sure they were comfortable and my friend did the makeup and my hairstylist did all the girls hair as a wedding gift to me. I bought their earrings and we made an appt at a nail salon for anyone who wanted to get their nails done, but that was something they paid for themselves, which was why it was totally optional- everyone was happy.

Sass, that's awesome that you picked dresses that the girls could easily alter to add into their wardrobe! That's a really fun idea!

Any bride to be who demands certain things should pay for them. Dresses can be very expensive for something you will not wear again and to expect your closest friends to fork over $1000+ to be by your side on your wedding day is ridiculous.

i think if the bride wants everyone done in a spercific look then i reckon she should pay because thats her discion but if shes not botherd but u are then u should pay up, that would b so rude saying i want to look good so can u payfor it because its your wedding day.

krEnEkl, she required that you grow your hair out!!! tha's a bit much. what did she want, a drill team? that's absurd. i think being a bridesmaid means you love and care about the bride and she feels the same for you. a dress or a style/look is one thig, but a makeover to be allowed to be in the wedding is insulting. why would the bride care how you wore your hair? as if anyone at the wedding would be so overwhelmed by one of the attendents hair that it distracted from their enjoying the ceremony.

For my upcoming destination wedding, I bought the dresses ($390 each) and am paying for their hair, makeup, mani/pedi ($180 each). However they are not getting a present from me!

I agree, if the bride wants me to do a bunch of fancy stuff ... she'll have to fork over the money to do so.

Yes, I think she should. And if I were the bride I know I'd want everyone to look a certain way and I'd definitely pay for it. It's only fair.

i think when i get married i am going to have my bridesmaids wear black dresses so they will get some use out of them later. plus i think black is really elegant.

We did black for the girls and they loved their dresses. The guys were in black tuxes with ivory shirts and black patterned vests and ties. The groom was in ivory shirt and champagne patterned vest and tie and my dress was a champagne ivory- it looked amazing.

I paid for their hair make-up and jewelry, I wanted them to have a certain uniformity but I didn't ask for them all to wear their hair the exact same way

If you want your girls to all look a certain way, you should pay for it.

If they really need to look all tne same then it's for the bride... i'm going to need a lot fo money later :p

Yes, if the bride wants every bridesmaid to look exactly the same (which I think is slightly ridiculous), it should come out of her pocket. I agree with sass317.. everyone should feel their most comfortable and beautiful!