Dear Poll: Have You Ever Dated a Commitment Phobe?

April 22, 2008

In order to find the right guy, you often have to weed out a few bad seeds. And to make matters worse, sometimes you think you’ve found an absolutely great guy, but as time goes on, you realize that he’s completely afraid of commitment. Dating a commitment phobe can be very confusing — he’s great and he really loves you, but he doesn’t want the same future you do. Unless you’re willing to wait around forever, you might just be setting yourself up for heartache. So ladies, let's see how many of us have had to go through this before. Have you ever dated a commitment phobe?

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49 Comments

3 years 42 weeks

Yeah, for 8 months. Every time things got really really good for a while, he'd suddenly go all moody and stop calling/texting. I love him so I kept giving him chances, but eventually he broke up with me because he didnt love me. I told him he never gave it a chance - he's never been in love, or even held hands with a girl in public before me, and he's 25 - but he said even if I was right, he couldn't see it. blah.

bellegrl 4 years 12 weeks

I think I might be involved with a long distance commitment phobe. We've seen each other a few times and have talked on the phone almost every day. We've known each other almost 3 months now and have changed our statuses on an internet social site to complicated and he's told me that he's never changed his status before. However, he keeps telling me he wants to do things to make me smile and make me happy, which he does by sending me YouTube clips that are really cute and romantic. But now that we've changed our statuses, there's been 2 times that he's been funny, it seems like he wants to fight, but then backs down. My best friend thinks that he's a commitment phobe, while my other friends think he's not. We haven't met either one of our friends, besides my best friend and her husband. Should I dump him or wait a few more weeks?

bellegrl 4 years 12 weeks

keiraz 4 years 51 weeks

looooolcan't believe the percentage of YES!!TYPICAL guys huh ;-)

keiraz 4 years 51 weeks

loooool can't believe the percentage of YES!! TYPICAL guys huh ;-)

GlowingMoon 5 years 3 weeks

I'm with Jude C. Every boyfriend I had proposed to me. I was not ready to be engaged. I was young -- I'm talking about high school, college, etc.Ironically, later in life, the man I truly wanted to marry dragged his feet about proposing. He said he wanted us to marry, and that I was The One for him, but he just didn't pop the question. Eventually, he did, and we're happily married now.

GlowingMoon 5 years 3 weeks

I'm with Jude C. Every boyfriend I had proposed to me. I was not ready to be engaged. I was young -- I'm talking about high school, college, etc. Ironically, later in life, the man I truly wanted to marry dragged his feet about proposing. He said he wanted us to marry, and that I was The One for him, but he just didn't pop the question. Eventually, he did, and we're happily married now.

TFS 5 years 3 weeks

LOL NOT SUPRISED THAT YES HAS THE MOST ANSWERS HERE.

emalove 5 years 3 weeks

Yup and I got out of it ASAP.

autumnxrain 5 years 4 weeks

*points at me*It used to freak me out to even officially date someone. I wouldn't mind hanging out or something, but once the whole 'boyfriend and girlfriend' titles came up, I got super scared.

autumnxrain 5 years 4 weeks

*points at me* It used to freak me out to even officially date someone. I wouldn't mind hanging out or something, but once the whole 'boyfriend and girlfriend' titles came up, I got super scared.

JaimeLeah526 5 years 4 weeks

I actually haven't.

JaimeLeah526 5 years 4 weeks

I actually haven't.

rpenner 5 years 4 weeks

I've always been the commitment phobe. I had to get over it if I didn't want to lose the guy I'm with now. It's been hard but I did it and he's totally worth it. Every once in awhile the old me trys to creep in but I am now able to shut her out.

TidalWave 5 years 4 weeks

Where is the option, "I am one." I have ended all of my relationships because I am terrified of commitment but somehow get attracted to guys who have no fear of it whatsoever.

TidalWave 5 years 4 weeks

Where is the option, "I am one."I have ended all of my relationships because I am terrified of commitment but somehow get attracted to guys who have no fear of it whatsoever.

popgoestheworld 5 years 4 weeks

I've always been the commitment phobe... I'm sure dating me sucks.

Lele777 5 years 4 weeks

You should be asking this question to my husband. He thought I would be a run away bride.

LadyP 5 years 4 weeks

The guy I dated before I met my husband. I am so glad I don't have to deal with that anymore!

Silverlining10 5 years 4 weeks

My current boyfriend was a commitment phobe at first. When we started dating, he hadn't dated anyone else and we were first years in college. He didn't plan past today. It made/makes sense, but now, things are completely different. He says seeing me around his family during the holidays made him realize he would like to continue this tradition for "years to come". It was sweet.

Stacey Cakes 5 years 4 weeks

Yup and so have all of my ex-boyfriends...

RockAndRepublic 5 years 4 weeks

Im too old to make excuses so i wont, im not going to waste my time with someone who doesn't even want to be with me. Self-esteem in tact.

heineken67 5 years 4 weeks

Briefly. He didn't want to commit to even being a couple.

lindholmka 5 years 4 weeks

Seeing one now, his excuse that we haven't made anything official is that we live 30 minutes away from each other...but I know the real reason! LAAMMMEE!!

mnp 5 years 4 weeks

I just dumped one. Ugh. I realized that I'm only 23 but I wanted a commitment sooner or later. He sucked at thinking and planning past today.

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