Dear Poll: Do You Like a Little Jealousy?

February 18, 2008

At dinner the other night, a single male friend asked me if I thought girls liked their men to be a little jealous, and I didn't know what to tell him. Obviously no one wants a boyfriend who's controlling and paranoid, but there are girls who complain that their boyfriends aren't jealous enough. We don't want to be taken for granted, but it seems like a little jealousy can easily turn into too much jealousy. Obviously I'm completely torn on this one, so I need your opinion. Is a little jealousy a good thing?

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40 Comments

Blackwood 4 years 46 weeks

no way!if somebody needs a partner to act jealous in order to feel that she/he matters, then something is really wrong with the relationship to begin with.

Blackwood 4 years 46 weeks

no way! if somebody needs a partner to act jealous in order to feel that she/he matters, then something is really wrong with the relationship to begin with.

sparklestar 5 years 12 weeks

I love a bit of jealously.My boyfriend is totally paranoid that I'm going to leave him and it's kind of cute. =P

sparklestar 5 years 12 weeks

I love a bit of jealously. My boyfriend is totally paranoid that I'm going to leave him and it's kind of cute. =P

clooneywoman 5 years 12 weeks

alittle jealous has to be done.

melizzle 5 years 12 weeks

I can understand how it can be "cute" or make you feel special, but jealous is almost always bad news. It signals a lack of trust.

Laughing4life 5 years 12 weeks

My bf doesn't get jealous over ANYTHING!He says if he has reason to - he will, but apparently he doesn't!Wish I could view things that easily haha I get jealous more often than he does, but when he said that it made me realize I want to adopt that reasoning as well :)

Laughing4life 5 years 12 weeks

My bf doesn't get jealous over ANYTHING! He says if he has reason to - he will, but apparently he doesn't! Wish I could view things that easily haha I get jealous more often than he does, but when he said that it made me realize I want to adopt that reasoning as well :)

Le Luxe 5 years 12 weeks

Most of my exes were crazy jealous and it used to make me so mad/turned off. Its good to show it a little bit, to show you care, but anything more than that is just plain annoying.

megln1022 5 years 12 weeks

a little jealousy is ok- as long as it always stays on the little side! then its flattering. for instance i went skiing this weekend and while i was up there i was texting the guy i'm dating (non-exclusively) and he's like 'just be good' and i was like what is that supposed to mean? and he's like 'don't be having too much fun with cute ski instructors' and i was like ahhhh ok lol i thought it was kinda cute- he wished he was up there with me but he couldn't be, he wasn't really overly worried about me "being bad" but he wanted to make sure i knew that he would care if i did find someone! on the flip side- i had a bf who was overly jealous of my best guy friend- to the point he told me how "in love" i was with him and how i had to choose him or the friend. that is when i was um you are ridiculous and you either deal with my completely platonic relationship with my guy friend of 7 years or i can't deal with you.

megln1022 5 years 12 weeks

bellydancinmary 5 years 12 weeks

I was in a horrible relationship when I was younger, so I don't tolerate jealousy of any kind.

shugahxnxspice 5 years 12 weeks

i don't like being jealous anymore than he does, but we're both guilty of it. i think a little jealousy makes us appreciate each other more...so long as it's not ever the top.

animatedpunk 5 years 12 weeks

it has to be a controlled jealousy. if that makes any sense.

rickimc 5 years 12 weeks

Just a little, and nothing threatening.

KACIEJPC 5 years 12 weeks

i like it, just as long as he isnt getting too weird about it.

allourregrets 5 years 12 weeks

When we are out and some guy comes up and hits on me...yeah, I want my man to say something about it! I'll admit that it even kinda turns me on when he does.If he just stood there and did nothing I would be a little concerned. But its no good if he gets jealous of just any guy that comes in contact with you (ie; coworkers, family friends, neighbors..etc). There is a line there, I dont think its that thin though...because it goes both ways. There are times when I will be talking about one of my guy friends at work, and I can just see this little glint of jealousy, but he knows that there is no reason to be jealous, and I know that sometimes when he talks about girls he works with I get a little jealous too, so Im not going to get mad at him for it. Its a give and take, a little jealousy is good, but you have to understand eachother.

allourregrets 5 years 12 weeks

pink-elephant 5 years 12 weeks

I'm kind of stuck in between. While I don't want my man to be over- possessive, I also don't want to be completely ignored either. Of course, normally I tend to be the more jealous one in relationships, although not all the time, I hate that feeling!

jennifer76 5 years 12 weeks

I voted no but not because I think "jealousy of any kind usually means trouble". So, count me as a "No - jealousy of any kind is unattractive, immature and annoying." 8)

jennifer76 5 years 12 weeks

I can't stand jealousy at all. It is SO unattractive in a person. I'm not your territory, don't mark me. :irk: And if you don't trust me, hit the road. My husband is the most secure man alive and it's one of the things I love most about him.

lickety split 5 years 12 weeks

my mom was jealous and i was embarassed by it. if you are jealous or not it doesn't change what is or isn't happening in your relationship, so what is the point? jealosy doesn't mean the person loves you MORE it just means they don't trust that they are enough for you. being insecure isn't at all attractive imho.

lcterp 5 years 12 weeks

I've been in a relationship where the guy was overly jealous to the point of ridiculousness and then one who was jealous more so because he was insecure and thought I would leave, both of those situations the jealousy or whatever you wanna call it led to our demise. My boyfriend now really never ever gets jealous so once in awhile I would like it if he did but it doesn't bother me too much.

indielove 5 years 12 weeks

I love a man who is confident enough in himself that he doesn't have to be jealous. I've been in a relationship where the guy was VERY territorial and would get upset if I even mentioned another guy's name, albeit a friend or someone I hardly knew. Jealous is a really bad thing in a relationship, I couldn't handle his insecurity and that was one of the biggest problems we had.I think in certain situations, it might be necessary to let someone who's getting too close to your SO that they need to back off but it doesn't need to be extreme. Subtlety is the key. Don't need your guy/gal flying off the handle for some silly reason. If my guy was, for example, flirting with another girl...so much so that it made me uncomfortable, I'd really have to step back and think about whether he's a good mate. I don't think there's anything wrong with talking with other people and having friends of the opposite sex, as long as there's nothing going on behind the scenes. I know I'm not going to fight over a guy so if I start to feel jealous, I wouldn't go make a fool of myself and kick some girl's ass. When I've got him one-on-one, I'd bring it up and ask him if he really wants to be with me or not because I know I wouldn't never disrespect my guy like that. I think it's all about how much respect you have for yourself and the person you're with.Sorry for the long post!

indielove 5 years 12 weeks

I love a man who is confident enough in himself that he doesn't have to be jealous. I've been in a relationship where the guy was VERY territorial and would get upset if I even mentioned another guy's name, albeit a friend or someone I hardly knew. Jealous is a really bad thing in a relationship, I couldn't handle his insecurity and that was one of the biggest problems we had. I think in certain situations, it might be necessary to let someone who's getting too close to your SO that they need to back off but it doesn't need to be extreme. Subtlety is the key. Don't need your guy/gal flying off the handle for some silly reason. If my guy was, for example, flirting with another girl...so much so that it made me uncomfortable, I'd really have to step back and think about whether he's a good mate. I don't think there's anything wrong with talking with other people and having friends of the opposite sex, as long as there's nothing going on behind the scenes. I know I'm not going to fight over a guy so if I start to feel jealous, I wouldn't go make a fool of myself and kick some girl's ass. When I've got him one-on-one, I'd bring it up and ask him if he really wants to be with me or not because I know I wouldn't never disrespect my guy like that. I think it's all about how much respect you have for yourself and the person you're with. Sorry for the long post!

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