Dear Poll: Did You Grow Up in an Affectionate Household?

September 1, 2008

My family has always been affectionate both physically and verbally, so it wasn’t until high school that I realized not every family was like mine. Other families — although equally as loving — didn’t necessarily go around saying “I love you” every time someone left the house. Neither is better, but I do think the level of affection in the household you grew up in will have an effect on the adult home you make for yourself. So did you grow up in a family that was quick to show affection?

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59 Comments

3 years 10 weeks

My family wern't really affectionate at all, we've never said "i love you" to each other and i've never seen my parents hug and kiss ever. When i was really little we would hug each other good night but thats it. Now we hug if one of us going away for a while or when they return but its always kinda awkward. Although because of this i am very affectionate as i think i was starved of it as a kid. I abcolutely love being affectionate in relationships and towards my friends. The only thing i find hard is saying "i love you" i'v never benn in a serious enough relationship to say that, but my best friend says i love you all the time to me but i can't bring myself to say it back, However because of this

3 years 37 weeks

none

calli gurl 4 years 21 weeks

we arent all that close. yeah, mom and i talk and share. but she loves my brother more and she favours him a lot. it sucks. dad rarely talks and i see him like once a day or once in two days. all of it bothered me before. but i try not to let stuff get me now.

ilanac13 4 years 37 weeks

my family definitely was not the hugs and kisses type of house - but that's partly because my mom was a single parent raising 4 kids and working a million jobs that she didn't have time to do all that. we definitely knew that we were loved and cared for but we were the touch-feely type. i think that's partly why i am the same way now - i don't like to be touched and i don't like the hugs and all that...even from my fiance. i know that it bothers him, but it's hard for me.

ilanac13 4 years 37 weeks

my family definitely was not the hugs and kisses type of house - but that's partly because my mom was a single parent raising 4 kids and working a million jobs that she didn't have time to do all that. we definitely knew that we were loved and cared for but we were the touch-feely type.i think that's partly why i am the same way now - i don't like to be touched and i don't like the hugs and all that...even from my fiance. i know that it bothers him, but it's hard for me.

Cider Morten 4 years 37 weeks

We might not tell each other how we feel all the time, but in my family there's never any doubt about how we feel about each other, it's all love. Thankfully :)

txcowgrl077 4 years 37 weeks

My family rarely showed affection. It was clear that the affection was only shown in public to prove a point. It's made me look at life differently - it has helped with the guard that I front and the reasons I don't let people close. It's a shame.

txcowgrl077 4 years 37 weeks

Seka21 4 years 37 weeks

Wow what a mixed response.. it really just shows how many people have the same lives and how many people understand each other But i did get sad reading some comments

Seka21 4 years 37 weeks

Wow what a mixed response.. it really just shows how many people have the same lives and how many people understand each otherBut i did get sad reading some comments

RockAndRepublic 4 years 37 weeks

Nope! None of that in this household. At my age however, i no longer mind it. I've no issue being affectionate with people that i care for.

allourregrets 4 years 37 weeks

My mom has always been pretty affectionate towards my sisters and I. Im almost 25 years old and I still kiss her on the lips when we go our seperate ways.

kiwitwist 4 years 37 weeks

My mom was and my dad was not..

sparklestar 4 years 37 weeks

No. My father has never told me he loves me, though my mother does /now/.I grew up in a cold and abusive household. Explains a lot really.

sparklestar 4 years 37 weeks

No. My father has never told me he loves me, though my mother does /now/. I grew up in a cold and abusive household. Explains a lot really.

LoveSarah 4 years 37 weeks

My SO's family gives hugs and kisses on the cheek and all that stuff, and even though I have been around it for 4 years now, sometimes I still can't get used to it. My family never hugged each other, would never ever even think about a kiss on the cheek, and we never even ate dinner together! BUT, I want my kids to know they are loved, so I will make sure we have a very affectionate household.

LoveSarah 4 years 37 weeks

My SO's family gives hugs and kisses on the cheek and all that stuff, and even though I have been around it for 4 years now, sometimes I still can't get used to it. My family never hugged each other, would never ever even think about a kiss on the cheek, and we never even ate dinner together!BUT, I want my kids to know they are loved, so I will make sure we have a very affectionate household.

Lovely_1 4 years 37 weeks

I definatly grew up in an affectionate family! We hug and kiss and always say 'i love you' to each other! My boyfriend's fam is waaaaay different but he's super affectionate towards me :)

lattegoodness 4 years 37 weeks

sw33tlovin, I totally know how you feel. I wish I didn't. I have an awesome, awesome boyfriend now, and though I want to have kids with him, my upbringing with no physical or verbal affection leaves me scared that I'll repeat that with my kids. That and the fear that I'll end up beind disappointed and disillusioned by them like my parents are with me. :(

sonya ina 4 years 37 weeks

My Mom was always very affectionate toward my sister and I, my Dad not so much, and I never saw my parents being affectionate toward one another. I always wished that they would be though! Hmph.

chocolatine 4 years 37 weeks

My family is super-affectionate, but we also bicker sometimes, and when we do my mom is not above calling me names such as "cow" or "b*tch". I know it's not malicious so it doesn't bother me, but people who don't understand our family dynamic are usually appalled when they see us fight. I guess the best way to explain it is that we don't hold back - neither with positive nor with negative emotions.

sw33tlovin 4 years 37 weeks

no, my family is and was not physically or verbally affectionate. never having that affirmation or self assurance that i was loved still cuts deep even now. it's one of the reasons i don't want children. and this is so after school special, but it's the truth.

sw33tlovin 4 years 37 weeks

leeluvfashion 4 years 37 weeks

Yes and No. My mother would tell me many times during a day how much she loved me and gave me a hug all the time. My father used to give hugs however as I got older he sort-of stopped and it became a random thing; I don't think he ajusted to having his daughter grow up. However I know he loves me, he just doesn't say it/show it all the time. So my parents were affectionate towards me; however not to one another, no real love there they just dealt with one another.

lexichloe 4 years 37 weeks

I come from one of those "creepy" families, who say "I love you" when we depart whether physically or over the phone. I guess we're all semi-superstitious, and always need consoling to counteract that.

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