DOH! The World According to Student Bloopers



These are real student bloopers culled from student essays, high school contest essays and college application essays. The future of America, people! God help us all.

  • "The past does not interest me because we know everything about it."
  • "If someone is a vegetable, it is fruitless to try to keep him alive on a machine."
  • "In war, man kills so that he can improve his culture."
  • "One who is the victim of a motorcycle accident would have a lot less trouble in terms of not wearing his helmet if he would only use his head while driving."
  • "Frostbite was common, as were men with amputatable limbs."
  • "Market fluctuations are continually rising."
  • "Thanks to Woodstock, people everywhere realized that there may be more to life than a man, a woman, two children, and a garage with a dog."
  • "In the Renaissance an unwary rodent became a grand feast."
  • "I can not imagine a more beautiful picture than my mother bearing a child--me."
  • "In the 1920s, no one intelligent believed in God."
  • "The world is a changing society. Politically, there is South Africa and Eastern Europe. Socially, there is the abortion and death penalty. Physically, there are AIDS and greenhouse."
  • "I have always wished I could have been the pilgrim on the Mayflower to catch that first glimpse of the beautiful New York skyline."
  • "If I could time travel, I would go back to Christ's time and upon hearing him speak would think 'I can't believe it--his words are almost exactly as they appear in the Bible!"
  • From a Shakespeare final: "Romeo cannot really be blamed for Ophelia's death."
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