Can I Invite Girls to my Bachelorette Party that are not invited to the Wedding?

Updated 05/15/07 2:00 PM · Posted 05/15/07 6:00 AM by DearSugar · 23 comments

Dear Sugar,
I am sending out invitations to my bachelorette party and it just occurred to me that I am inviting girls that are not invited to my wedding. Is that considered poor etiquette? -- Clueless Cameron

To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear Clueless Cameron--

I am glad you wrote to me before you sent off those invites! The bachelorette party, just like any engagement party or wedding shower leading up to the big day, is meant for guests whom you intend to invite to your wedding. Since the bachelorette party is typically the last event before your wedding, I do think it would be considered poor etiquette to invite people who are not welcome at your wedding.

At the bachelorette party, there will be a lot of conversation about the wedding that is bound to make uninvited guests feel uncomfortable and left out. It is perfectly acceptable to invite girls who are not in your wedding party, and while this decision is completely discretionary, I would lean against opening the invitation to those not going to your wedding. While you might feel the more the merrier, you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings! Congratulations and have fun!

Source

Can I Invite Girls to my Bachelorette Party that are not invited to the Wedding? originally posted on Wedding Talk

23 Comments - Post a Comment

ash_marisa - 5 years ago Report Comment

Unless you are doing a small family-only wedding, then it sounds like a bad idea.

cubadog - 5 years ago Report Comment

I agree. Not a very nice thing to do.

bluejeanie - 5 years ago Report Comment

why would you do that? don't.

nicachica - 5 years ago Report Comment

i hope you didn't send the invites out already! good save on the second-guessing.

nicachica - 5 years ago Report Comment

btw, i LOVE these new comment boxes. i feel like i'm in a comic book or something... Bluejeanie, it works even better with your avatar! :)

nicachica - 5 years ago Report Comment

btw, i LOVE these new comment boxes. i feel like i'm in a comic book or something...Bluejeanie, it works even better with your avatar! :)

MrsJigglesworth - 5 years ago Report Comment

Don't do it!!! I think this is definitely poor etiquette. Only invite those that are invited to your wedding. Have fun!

andaman - 5 years ago Report Comment

I would say it is quite inconsidered of you to invite them. If you have time, stop the invites.

pinupsweetheart - 5 years ago Report Comment

I agree. It is bad. Don't do it. It looks very tacky.

popgoestheworld - 5 years ago Report Comment

There is a girl friend I have in the city who I'm only so so friends with, not because I don't think she's great, but because we just have never spent a lot of time together. I never in a million years expected to be invited to the wedding. But I swear I was hoping to be invited to the bachelorette party! And since my close friend organized the party for her, I ended up being invited, though I couldn't go. But if I could have, I definitely would have! And I wouldn't have been bitter AT ALL. If it's done right, it might be okay to hang with these so less close friends might be thrilled to have a fun night out with you.

popgoestheworld - 5 years ago Report Comment

There is a girl friend I have in the city who I'm only so so friends with, not because I don't think she's great, but because we just have never spent a lot of time together. I never in a million years expected to be invited to the wedding. But I swear I was hoping to be invited to the bachelorette party! And since my close friend organized the party for her, I ended up being invited, though I couldn't go. But if I could have, I definitely would have! And I wouldn't have been bitter AT ALL.If it's done right, it might be okay to hang with these so less close friends might be thrilled to have a fun night out with you.

katie225 - 5 years ago Report Comment

traditional etiquette states that you shouldn't invite people to wedding functions (i.e., reception dinner, bridal shower, etc.) who aren't invited to the wedding. the end. do it if you want to, but be prepared for the embarrassment.

Lagasse2005 - 5 years ago Report Comment

Most people have someone else plan the party, maybe they can be your "scapegoat" they wouldn't know any better right?

Marci - 5 years ago Report Comment

I'd be insulted if I was asked to the Bachelorette Party and not the wedding. I say no.

pink_magnetism - 5 years ago Report Comment

I was invited to a Bachelorette party for a girl whose wedding I wasn't invited to, and I was fine with it. I guess it depends if you think they would find it offensive or not.

junebrug - 5 years ago Report Comment

I agree with the others. It looks like you're trying to get gifts out of people you didn't consider fit to invite to your big day. I understand that may be far from the truth, but that's how it LOOKS.

bookgirl - 5 years ago Report Comment

At my best friend's bachelorette party there was girl that came that wasn't invited to the wedding. One of the other bridesmaids, that wasn't as close with the rest of us, asked the bride if she could invite her friend that we all had met before so she could be more comfortable. We all had a good time.

Candybee - 5 years ago Report Comment

Ugh! I feel bad. I have invited (already) 4 girls that were not invited to the wedding. I am having a destination wedding and so only super close friends were invited. However, I did invite some girls from work to the "bachelorette party" because, to be honest a few of them asked me about it. If I was having one, etc. Is this bad? Can't I just use the "Destination Wedding" excuse?

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GetRealGirl - 3 years ago Report Comment

Wow, I couldn't disagree more w/ the majority opinion here! I don't know a single person who would be more offended being invited to just a bachelorette party than nothing at all. First, we're talking bachelorette party, not bridal shower - no gifts are required at bachelorette parties - so no one thinks you're inviting them for more gifts. You all sound like if you invite someone to your bachelorette party who is not invited to your wedding that person will suddenly realize she's not invited to the wedding. Please. People understand the restraints weddings create - expensive affairs where family must be invited first. People want to celebrate with you and be included in some way. Inviting someone to your bachelorette party who you just couldn't fit on the wedding invite list reinforces that you still consider her a great friend. Point is - a bachelorette party invite to someone not invited to the wedding isn't going to add offense. They were either already offended or not. If that person is important enough to you that you want her to be there to celebrate w/ you - invite her!

Anonymous - 2 years ago Report Comment

A good friend is having a wedding and reception, but I am only invited to the reception and not the wedding. I am also invited to the bridal shower ($50-$75 on the gift) and the bachelorette ($300). I am so torn because I feel like I am being asked to spend the money I would spend on a REALLY close friend but she doesn't consider me a close enough friend to invite to the wedding. Thoughts?