Boyfriend Is A Meanie

Dear Sugar
Ever since I moved in with my boyfriend he's always leaving with his friends and not coming home for hours. Even when he's here with me he ignores me by having his friends over or getting on the computer. He just told me today, "Stop nagging me. This is why guys break-up with girls."

I was so upset. All I said was that he never spends time with me anymore and all I do is sit in the house all day. I don't go anywhere or have any friends and I clean and cook for him! He's been like this for about six months, and we have been together for four years. We just recently got back together because he cheated on me a month ago, with two of my old best friends!

As I write to you, he's just left again. He is constantly accusing me of cheating and he'd rather watch dirty movies then have intercourse with me! I do everything in the world for him and I've never cheated on him. Why is he this way? Devastated Devon

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Dear Devastated Devon
Why are you still with this jackass? Move out and move on with your own life. You aren't married, so why are you putting your needs before his? He's taking care of himself; he sees his friends and he stimulates his mind by playing around on the computer.

I hate to say it, but he sounds a little bit bored with you and I think it's because what you conceive as love by nurturing him, he sees as lame. You are just sitting home all day long, cooking, cleaning and waiting for him without getting out and making some friends of your own? Why are you doing that? If you aren't happy, then coming home to you isn't going to be much fun.

You can't place the blame on him for why you are unhappy when you aren't doing things for yourself. You know, I bet the first friend that you make will tell you the same thing. By you not taking a stand you are allowing this behavior. Once you feel better about yourself, I'll bet that it takes you no time at all to get outta there.

Since he's got you back, he feels secure about your relationship, so he's stopped working at it. He also sounds really immature. It's not uncommon for people who throw jealous rages to be cheating themselves. This guy doesn't deserve you. I hope that you see that sooner than later. Take back control of your own life. There are plenty (and much better) fish in the sea.