Boyfriend Has Weird Fetish

Group Therapy: I Need to Spice Up My Sex Life ASAP

September 7, 2011

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I am getting married next month to this wonderful man who makes me oh so happy. However, our sex life is very dull. Here is my dilemma . . .

We are in our mid to late 20s and we have sex maybe once or twice a week.
At times, I feel like he has a very low sex drive and in the past when I have tried to surprise him by wearing something a little risque, it does nothing for him.
I have found out that he has some type of pantyhose fetish and I have looked on his computer and found that he looks on these sex site dedicated to pantyhose. Ive asked him to explain this fetish to me so I would better understand and meet his needs, but when I do, he gets embarrassed and shuts down.

Can anyone give me any advice?? As far as the low sex drive and pantyhose fetish thing?? I hear that the two things couple fight about the most are finances and sex. Considering we are getting married next month, I really don't want to start off on the bad foot. Not to mention, I would like to have sex on my honeymoon. Thanks in advanced.

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11 Comments

Venus1 1 year 34 weeks

I agree. Take the lead and add a little spice to the bedroom too. It's important to liven things up. If you are finding things rather dull now you will be looking elsewhere soon after marriage.

whats her name 1 year 35 weeks

Wear some hose and rock his world.

Helen Danger 1 year 35 weeks

Take him shopping at a department store, hit the legwear department, and get his opinion on whether Christian Dior or Leggs would look better on you. He'll follow you to the ends of the Earth.

danakscully64 1 year 35 weeks

1-2 times a week isn't bad at all....

jazzytummy 1 year 36 weeks

It's possible that he is the one who wants to wear them. Just be ready for that. I also agree with Karlotta re: not getting married until you flush this out. Thinking that sex will improve after marriage if it is unsatisfying now is unrealistic.

postmodernsleaze 1 year 36 weeks

I agree with KeLynns. Don't probe him about pantyhose... just show up in them!

KeLynns 1 year 36 weeks

Why does he have to explain the pantyhose thing to you? Why can't you just go ahead and wear them sometimes? Honestly, from the sentence "Ive asked him to explain this fetish to me so I would better understand and meet his needs" it sounds to me like the conversation was either very clinical/unsexy, or judgey. I mean, what do you want him to say about it? He thinks they're hot, bottom line. Get some crotchless pantyhose and surprise him someday.

laluna27 1 year 36 weeks

Honestly I would just show up in it! He might get a thrill out of the fact that you are willing to put yourself so far out of the box and are accepting of his fetish. If he is on the prude side, then I would work up to it. Wear panty hose similar to his fetish in day to day life. Let him see you in those - it might turn his crank.

karlotta 1 year 36 weeks

Keep probing him nicely about the pantyhose. If you're being very accepting and open, maybe he'll finally let his guard down and share his fantasy. But don't push him too hard either, or scare him half to death by showing up in full-body pantyhose gear. Obviously he's been rejected or mocked or humiliated by his kink before and he probably needs smooth and gentle acceptance before he really feels comfortable. I wouldn't get married until he was true about this, though.

pax4pax 1 year 36 weeks

Sounds like he just has a low sex drive. It is said there's a bell curve of desire with 25% being high and 25% of men being low. Sounds like that's the match you made.Since sex was common before you committed, there's no reason to think marrying will make it any different.Try talking and get to the root of the causes. He is the best route to knowing what makes him tick.

pax4pax 1 year 36 weeks

Sounds like he just has a low sex drive. It is said there's a bell curve of desire with 25% being high and 25% of men being low. Sounds like that's the match you made. Since sex was common before you committed, there's no reason to think marrying will make it any different. Try talking and get to the root of the causes. He is the best route to knowing what makes him tick.

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11 Comments

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