Boyfriend Has Pictures of Ex on Facebook

Sunday Confessional: Pictures of His Ex Make Me Jealous

July 4, 2010

This week's confession comes from our anonymous Confession Booth group in the TrèsSugar Community. Weigh in with your advice below.

I hate that my boyfriend has pics of his ex on Facebook. Can I ask him to take them down?

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23 Comments

honeylocs 2 years 39 weeks

I think you should tell him that it makes you feel insecure and ask him what the pictures mean to him. He may have them there because that has been part of his life journey. He may not be thinking about the pics as much as you are, or perhaps, in the way that you are. He may see them as just the past. If he's reluctant to take them down, perhaps you could ask him to put them in a more private area where you wouldn't have to see them constantly, if seeing them really causes you pain.

GregS 2 years 40 weeks

This question is asked totally out of context. How many OTHER pics are on his facebook page? Just her? 10 or 15 or 200 other "friends"? If it's the latter case, grow up! If it's just her, maybe you have something - other than the insecurities you're already showing. This is why I hate facebook. Too many insecure people running around trying to find subplots where there aren't any.

Lucy Hush 2 years 40 weeks

Totally get it. You shouldn't have to tell him what to do with the pictures - He should have enough sense to remvoe them or remove the tags at least. I would imagine that if he truly values your relationship, those images wouldn't be an issue in the first place. This issue probably goes beyond the images. Maybe you are more into this relationship then he is? Instead of approaching him about the pictures, maybe you should approach him on how serious he is.

ilovebb 2 years 41 weeks

I agree with the most of them, it's pretty wrong if your bf pictures of him &his ex. Especially if its just them together. My boyfriend, he still has pictures of him &his ex in his graduation frame &many other things to remind him of her; which really pisses me off. whenever it comes up i confront him about it &he tells me not to worry &that i'm the one he chose ¬ her. (especially because we are having a child together) (: don't worry about it girl! i'm just like you, but if you love him, you'll trust his judgment. just confront him about it. tell him how you feel.

Skeptic52 2 years 42 weeks

A lot of people equate that sort of stuff to being insecure. I'm very secure in who I am. I'm secure enough to know that I can find a nice guy who won't carry around that kind of baggage. I don't have to settle for anything I don't feel comfortable with. And, that paid off, because I found someone who shared my beliefs and we're happily married.

Skeptic52 2 years 42 weeks

If you're serious and he likes you, he'll take them down. Just don't be mean about it, so he won't get defensive. My husband didn't actually KNOW there were pictures of him and his ex on facebook when we first started dating. He never used it. But SHE had tagged HIM in a bunch of them. When I mentioned it, he went "OMG...there really are pic on there. I'm taking these down." He couldn't stand her, and he was never really serious about her. But, she used facebook as a way to stalk people, as we found out later...the police even had to get involved. He and even his mother had to change phone numbers. MY parents even had to file complaints, because she used facebook to figure out where I grew up. Some people will say it's fine to hold on to the past, but there's a lot more danger to facebook than most people realize. So, it's totally natural to not like that. It's a little like if someone took pictures and put them on their desk at work, but never took them down. They're still there, and a lot of times it's much healthier to forget things and MOVE ON. Everyone's had that girlfriend who was soooo obsessed with her awful boyfriend that she'd never throw anything away of his. She'd wear his shirt to bed, or keep his pics around, or keep his teddy bear. And, she'd always go back to him or sabotage other relationships because she couldn't move on. You have to CHOOSE to move on, and a lot of times that means getting rid of crap that constantly reminds you. Yes, people have pasts, but no they don't HAVE to hold on to them. If you're not comfortable, that's totally natural. That's doesn't just mean you're insecure. And, if he can't understand that, then you deserve someone who can. I've been to couples counseling sessions right after I got married to ensure I'd have a strong marriage, even professionals recommend getting rid of social sites or at the very least cleaning them up. There are actually states now that have "social networking sites" as an official, standard reason to file in divorce court. They're more dangerous than people realize. More and more professionals are advising against them for couples. You're going to start to see some new social "norms" because of social sites.

twilightzone 2 years 42 weeks

Are you waked? The less energy that you put into your random fantasies about why she is on his Facebook, the less meaning the picture will have. They are friends, they dated for a reason cause they liked one another, so now he's supposed to wax her out of his social life? Come on now, your bigger & better than that. Face it head on, let your confidence shine thru and you will viewed in the light that you deserve.

danakscully64 2 years 45 weeks

It doesn't hurt to ask why they're still up. If he knows they make you uncomfortable, he might take them down without you even asking :)

2 years 45 weeks

My, now husband (a wonderful man) had pics of his ex on his computer- all kinds of pics (raunch and otherwise). After we firmly got together, meaning at a year, I noticed they were still there. I asked him why he held on to them. Boy, was my insecurity showing. Anyway, turns out, he hadn't thought of them. He apologised for how they made me feel and quickly removed them. One, be honest with why you're asking for them to be removed and express that to him. Don't cat around about it and be nice about it. if he's with you for real, she may not have been on his mind enough for him to even care. Ironically, I found pictures of old boyfriends among my belongings and on my computer. I hadn't thought of them in years and there they were staring at me! Didn't I feel like an.... Next, yes, it is your place to ask him to respect how you feel. Just as it is his place to be respected. On both side, just be nice to each other and consider each other at all times.

Pistil 2 years 45 weeks

Ew, Weffie! I wouldn't want to raise a big stink about it, but I'd also hope my boyfriend would have enough sense to consider what other people might think of those pictures.

DiamondSkies 2 years 45 weeks

I don't think you should come out and specifically ask him to remove them, but you could tell him how it makes you feel and knowing it makes you uncomfortable he should remove them out of respect for you.

weffie 2 years 45 weeks

My bf still has a pics of him with his ex on his facebook and in more than a few of them they are licking each other's tongues in full view (apparently they never kissed with their lips actually touching lol)... klassy! I hate those pics, obviously, but I've never thought it was my place to ask that they be removed... Plus, I wouldn't want them replaced with pics of me looking as gross and trashy as she does, so if he rly needs to have a gross trashy girl's tongue on his facebook, she's it. I just don't look at them any more.

MeiGaku 2 years 46 weeks

i think there are a few things you should do. first, think about why you are so uncomfortable about her pictures. i get it. i've been there with my exes. my current bf is extremely understanding and supportive--and reassuring, so hopefully your bf is like that too. you two need to talk about your insecurities. and secondly, he may have the pictures of his ex because he doesn't even realize they're there. i have over 1,500 photos on my facebook so when my current bf saw a four-year-old photo of my ex and me, i realized i still had it. if it really does bother you so much, let him know, and if he's not a jerk, he'll understand and take them down. =)

KateAthens 2 years 46 weeks

What the reason of a guy having pictures of his ex in facebook unless he still thinking about her or want to be back with her? You should tell him that you're his girlfrend and he should have pictures with you in facebook not with old flames.

2 years 46 weeks

Don't worry honey you look fine.

TheEnchantedOne 2 years 46 weeks

Def. If he's got like pictures of only the two of them together or even solo pictures of her, that's freakin' wrong. But if they're group shots, you know, with his other friends or family, that's understandable. Just don't be demanding or rude when you ask for him to take them down. Be subtle (and sweet). Use your womanly flair to make things happen :p

Rjs baby girl 2 years 46 weeks

If there are pictures of them acting like a couple, I'd say you have the right to ask that he takes them down. But if it's pics of them with other people I'd say don't worry about that. When I broke up with my ex that's what I did, I took down the pics of him and me only but I left the ones with our groups of friends. I think it shows respect for the new boyfriend.

stephley 2 years 46 weeks

Time might be better spent asking why you're so insecure.

madnessangel 2 years 46 weeks

yep..coz youre the present and shes the past...whats the sense of keeping their picture together???not unless hes not over her yet. my guy, i saw their pic with his ex and it makes me feel bad andhe's still hiding some...i just dont know where

Studio16 2 years 46 weeks

No. His facebook, his perogative.

Pistil 2 years 46 weeks

No, don't micromanage his facebook account, unless they're risque pictures or something.

Gdeeaz 2 years 46 weeks

It depends on what is going on in the pictures. If the pictures are of them kissing, hugging, etc then I think it's ok to ask him to take them down, but if they are normal pictures of them just hanging out I wouldn't bring it up.

tlsgirl 2 years 46 weeks

No. I mean, technically you could, but you really shouldn't.

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23 Comments

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