Boyfriend Hangs Out With His Friends More Than Me

Group Therapy: I Feel Second Place to My Boyfriend's Friends

November 9, 2011

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I'm kind of sick of my boyfriend revolving his life around his friends; we've been together for a year and a half. And it's just starting to get annoying. He does things with his friends which we could do together. I know that his friends are important to him, and I totally don't mind him being with his friends. But when he's doing loads of things with them that we could be doing . . . I almost feel a bit like second place. Which I don't really want to be if we're in this together, seriously.

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6 Comments

lindssaurussss 1 year 27 weeks

Ive been there. had a bf for 3yrs doing the long distance thing started college out of state after 1yr dating. could of seen friends any time during the week but when i would come down to see him his friends were always there, it was like whats the point of comming down. i felt like i wasnt a priority. and i was right when we broke up, he asked why and i said it. he called me a tag-a-long. if you feel like a tag-a-long i would just break it off no ultimadiums. if he wanted to be with you he would. now i have a bf that wants to spend time and has a his guy friends day once/twice a week.

juicebox07 1 year 27 weeks

I understand your feelings. I was with my boyfriend for 5 years. The last 2 years of our relationship, he spent a majority of his time with friends. I'm surprised I put up with it that long, but I gradually resented him more and more for it. Finally, I said that I was sick of him spending almost every day with friends and only finding time for me one day of the week. Then he ended up breaking up with me. Basically, choosing his friends. I had no problem with him spending time with friends as long as equal time was spent with me, but that wasn't the case. He refused to take my feelings into account, so I'm glad he broke up with me because I had enough of him putting me last place and I was planning on ending it soon anyway. Basically, I wanted to share my story because guys won't change. If you're unhappy with the amount of time he's spending with you vs. his friends, you will end up resenting him. Although, I have no idea if your situation is as severe as mine was, since little detail was given.

henna red 1 year 27 weeks

What they said.

onlysourcherry 1 year 27 weeks

Agree with the above. Unless he's taking his friends out to dinner at the Palm and on hot air balloon rides, cut the guy some slack.

Sweet Melissa 111 1 year 27 weeks

I agree with Raynne. I'm having a hard time sympathizing without more specific examples. It's normal and healthy to socialize outside of the relationship. Maybe you should work on cultivating hobbies and friendships of your own so that you can enjoy your time away from your boyfriend more.

Raynne413 1 year 27 weeks

What kinds of things, though? I mean, my boyfriend goes to movies with his friends that I want to see, but that's because a lot of the movies WE go to, his friends aren't interested in. So he'll do some things with me, and some things with them. I mean, if you go by that, the poor guy would never be with his friends because, for the most part, ANYTHING he does with them, he COULD do with you. Is it something he does ALL the time, or just occasionally?

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