Well after 4 months I got pregnant. I was elated! I didn't know how much I DID want this and was so thankful he made me realize how badly I want to be a mother. Then disaster struck and I was diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy and lost the baby at 10 weeks. This has broken my heart in a way I never thought it could. So I was getting a form of chemotherapy treatment to rid my body of the pregnancy which made me extremely ill and an emotional wreck. But he was there reassuring that as soon as we get the go ahead we can try again, that we'll have a family and we can do this together.
Those were the thoughts and words that I hung onto to get me through the grueling process. And now FINALLY after being pricked and poked and doctor appointments, we get the "go ahead!" I was ecstatic and talked with him how excited I was to start trying again and how happy I was and how much I really want this. Then all of a sudden he tells me "I don't want it". . . "I don't want a baby."
I don't know what to do! I want this so bad and he's the one who made me realize this and now after all I went through, I feel he wants to take it away from me. I've always wanted to have children and be a mother but I never knew how bad I truly wanted it until I had it. Why would he say he wanted something and tell me we would try again and have me go through that if he "doesn't want it?" I understand people change their minds and have a change of heart sometimes, but why fill my head and put hope in my heart when you had no intention? I don't know what to do.