Bad Wedding Traditions

What Wedding Traditions Would You Ditch?

April 26, 2010

Weddings come with so many traditions that it often takes an extra effort to give your big day a unique spin. One good way to make it your own? Ditch all the customs that get on your nerves.

I'm sure single ladies would gladly pass on the relationship-status-blaring bouquet toss. And as a bride, you might not want to flash your leg to all your friends and family as your new husband takes off your garter. Perhaps you could pass on gender-specific attendants and have your best guy friend stand as your "bridesman." Or maybe you'd rather give yourself away, thank you very much.

What traditions would you throw out?

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Source: Getty

60 Comments

abump76 2 years 49 weeks

My hubby and I ditched a lot of the traditions when we got married. We wanted to elope originally but eventually decided against it and decided to keep things as simple as possible. We didn't have any bridesmaids or groomsmen, no flower girl or ring bearer, in fact we didn't have any kids at the wedding. We got married on a yacht so I didn't want to worry about anything happening to kids on the boat. Luckily we were in our twenties when we got married so our friends didn't really have any kids yet so it wasn't a big deal. I wanted to ditch the garter toss since the guys don't even want to participate but somehow we still ended up doing it along with the bouquet toss, I drew the line at the chicken dance though. Looking back it was fun having everyone there but a part of me still wishes we would have had the intimate beach ceremony that we had originally envisioned.

outstripped 2 years 51 weeks

Wow, thanks for the sweeping stereotype, A Guy. My fiancee and I are getting married in September and I will be the one paying off his debt.Our wedding is going to be traditional Catholic but without any of the bullshit excesses. Small and intimate, traditional Catholic hymns, No garter, bouquet toss, cake cutting, dumb introductions, flower girl, or ring bearer. My brothers are on my side of the bridal party and his sister will be on his side.

outstripped 2 years 51 weeks

Wow, thanks for the sweeping stereotype, A Guy. My fiancee and I are getting married in September and I will be the one paying off his debt. Our wedding is going to be traditional Catholic but without any of the bullshit excesses. Small and intimate, traditional Catholic hymns, No garter, bouquet toss, cake cutting, dumb introductions, flower girl, or ring bearer. My brothers are on my side of the bridal party and his sister will be on his side.

3 years 2 days

If I have to do it, we'll elope and have a civil ceremony; after all, it's really about the marriage, not the wedding. I really don't care what anyone else thinks about it, and I'm still waiting (age 51 this year) to meet the woman who agrees with me. I guess that shows how shallow and vain most women really are, huh?

3 years 2 days

The tradition of having the woman gain legal ownership to half my portfolio in spite of the fact that she has wasted all her money on coffee, bottled water, painted nails, hair coloring, and who knows what else! Seriously, I've met women who are in their 40's and have earned $85,000 a year - yet they have absolutely nothing to show for it, except the list of previously mentioned items. At least when guys spend money, you can see where it goes - a big flatscreen TV, nice car, stereo system, home. The forementioned girl - she lives in an apartment and has $30,000 debt. WTF? In the last 10 years, her takehome pay was $500,000. Where'd it all go? And if I marry her, she gets half my portfolio? That's one "tradition" that should be thrown out immediately!

silicapathways 3 years 3 weeks

We eliminated almost all of them. No save the dates, no bridal showers, no tossing the boquet, no garter dance! We did have bachelor/bachelorette parties and we cut the cake together.

lauren 3 years 4 weeks

We ditched all of the pre-parties including engagement, bachelor, shower, etc. We didn't want our guests to have to attend a bunch of parties before the actual day! For our wedding party, we kept it really simple and only had our brothers on each site. I loved saying my brother was my maid of honor or technically matron of honor! It was fun!

lauren 3 years 4 weeks

3 years 4 weeks

We ditched the parents' names on the invites, made sure there was no 'obey' snuck into those vows, nobody asked "who brings this woman/these people to be married". My dad did walk me down the aisle but only because he would have had his feelings hurt if I'd told him he couldn't. (That and it was bloody nerve-wracking to walk by myself). It's good to have someone you love walk with you. Dad, mom, whomever. We axed all the traditional music. (We had a piper). We axed the church (had a lovely outdoor ceremony at a Muskoka waterfront). We had all the "speeches" during dinner so there was no big lump of crap to sit through later.... Remember that it is your day and do what you like with it. But also remember that there are others emotionally invested too: groom, parents, grandparents, etc. If there's a tradition that means something to them and it doesn't hurt your sensibilities worse than it being 'silly', just do it. The smell of burning bridges extinguished by tears really sucks at weddings.

boredgourdless 3 years 4 weeks

I ditched the veil, the bridal shower, children participating in the wedding, the head table (both hubby and I were not big fans of forcing people to watch us eat), and the traditional wedding cake. We had a small, cute polka-dotted cake for cutting (minus the cheesy dolls on top) and a dessert buffet with cookies and cupcakes and fresh fruit for the guests. More variety that way!

countchocula 3 years 4 weeks

Oh gosh, where to begin? I'm a devoted church-goer but I feel closer to God in nature so I would want an outdoor wedding; it's too stuffy in a church. I'd do away with the stupid veil, bouquet toss, garter grabbing, glass tapping, messy bridge-groom cake feeding, something-old-something-new-something-borrowing-something-blue superstition... and despite everyone in my family having a large guest list, I'd keep it small and intimate. It's such a special day for the bride and groom and if there are fewer hands to shake and pictures to take, they can enjoy it more. Oh, and who says the gown has to be white?

jocupcake 3 years 4 weeks

I dislike so many wedding traditions. I just think they're embarrassing! Definitely no garter-grabbing and no spending a gazillion dollars on everything. I have a very bad relationship with my parents and I actually don't even want to invite them,let alone do any of the traditional wedding things that involve them (like giving the bride away, first dances)... maybe this means I should just elope. Although I do kind of want to have a big party with my friends.

Sundaydrive 3 years 4 weeks

I'd want to do all the silly traditions! Hopefully I only get married once, so why not have fun with it?

runningesq 3 years 4 weeks

I got married five years ago and we did the bouquet toss, first dance, silly dances.I think it's hilarious that people get all high and mighty about what they aren't going to do -- because they are so above silly traditions. Funny how being un-trendy is the new trendy.It's you and your husband's wedding, and do what you want to do, but don't shun something just because you think it's cool to do so.

runningesq 3 years 4 weeks

I got married five years ago and we did the bouquet toss, first dance, silly dances. I think it's hilarious that people get all high and mighty about what they aren't going to do -- because they are so above silly traditions. Funny how being un-trendy is the new trendy. It's you and your husband's wedding, and do what you want to do, but don't shun something just because you think it's cool to do so.

Lyv 3 years 4 weeks

Definitely no bouquet tossing or any kind of "who's getting married next" games (It's not a race!!). Tossing your garter sounds trashy but at least it's kind of funny. I'm not marrying a christian so we can skip the church.... Probably not having my father give me away, or only one maid of honor, ABSOLUTELY NO RICE SHOWERS, and my dress isn't gonna be all white. It might be black with white details...

hypnoticmix 3 years 4 weeks

I'm sure the brides family would love to forget about them paying for everything. In most cases I think they already do but the pressure still looms.

WhatTheFrockBlog 3 years 4 weeks

We're not having a maid of honor or best man - just three bridesmaids and groomsmen. We're not doing a first dance, any parent dances, or being announced as we enter the reception. We're not doing a garter/bouquet toss. We're not cutting the cake (we're having cupcakes) or feeding it to each other. We're not having a receiving line. We're doing our first look before the ceremony and getting our photos done then so that we can join our guests for cocktail hour.

WhatTheFrockBlog 3 years 4 weeks

We're not having a maid of honor or best man - just three bridesmaids and groomsmen.We're not doing a first dance, any parent dances, or being announced as we enter the reception.We're not doing a garter/bouquet toss.We're not cutting the cake (we're having cupcakes) or feeding it to each other.We're not having a receiving line.We're doing our first look before the ceremony and getting our photos done then so that we can join our guests for cocktail hour.

Sweedalicious 3 years 4 weeks

I'd ditch the garter toss, the receiving line, and the "tap on the glass for a kiss". I have anxiety issues, so being forced to greet EVERYONE isn't my thing, and I want to be able to actually EAT. Not be kissing the whole time!

ella1978 3 years 4 weeks

Right now I sort of wish I had ditched the bridesmaids.. they have been pretty much absent for the whole thing. My MOH is my sister. She came to my shower and bought her dress and shoes. That's all. Another bridesmaid hasn't been here since I asked her to be a BM and I've probably only talked to her a dozen times in the past year... everyone I picked is pretty uninvolved. Not what I thought I was going to have "experience"wise.

lilkimbo 3 years 4 weeks

Tls, it totally makes sense if you don't like kids and/or if there are no kids with whom you're close. I guess I just take issue with the idea that you are humiliating a child by asking them to be a part of your wedding.

tlsgirl 3 years 4 weeks

I don't know about most people, lilkimbo, but I find kids really annoying so that's why I'm not having a flower girl/ring bearer. Besides, they'd be bored since I wouldn't have children at my wedding at all. I do, however, love the idea about the dog ring bearer :)

b1uebunn 3 years 4 weeks

I didn't wear a veil, both of my parents walked me down the aisle (and didn't "give me away"), I didn't do a garter toss (gross!) no receiving line (that's just a style thing), and only 2 toasts.