DEAR E. JEAN AND DEAR SUGAR:
I have a sticky — sticky — situation. I love my fiancé. He’s a down-to-earth, funny, intelligent guy, a Baptist from Kentucky; I’m a no-nonsense, fun-loving Catholic girl from Boston (he’s agreed we will raise our children Catholic). We’re both geeks, love the Red Sox, like staying up late, and sleeping with the windows open. We are extremely compatible. Our wedding is in June.
But! We have a bone of contention: I’m voting for Hillary. He’s voting for Rudy. After several heated discussions, we agreed to disagree about it. Everything has been lovely till last weekend.
I was out with my friend (ironically, we were attending a campaign meeting for Hillary in preparation for going to New Hampshire next month) and my fiancé plastered our car with Rudy Giuliani stickers. I mean he put them everywhere — all over the trunk, both backseat windows, and one on each of the front doors.
I’m so angry! I can’t be seen in a car with Giuliani ads! I’m not saying Giuliani’s a bad man, I just can’t see him as president. Hillary Clinton will be smarter, more thoughtful president. What do I do? The damn stickers are impossible to get off! Help! Even Brillo didn’t work! — Hillary’s Hand Maiden
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MISS HANDMAIDEN, HUNNY:
- Buy full-sheet sticker papers (25 sheets, $20 at DecalPaper.com or Stickerdelights.com).
- Do not cut them into bumper sticker-size slogans.
- Instead, design each full sheet to carry the 7 Reasons to Vote for Hillary in HUGE FONT.
- Print 20 giant stickers.
- Carefully place one Hillary sticker below each Giuliani sticker on your car.
- Drive to The Boston Globe.
- Call the Political Desk and ask a reporter to come down to the front door.
- Hand the reporter a cup of hot coffee, show her the car, and tell her your story.
- Get big press for your candidate and let your fiancé know that neither you nor Hillary will take any guff from the fellows.