DEAR E. JEAN--
When I saw the Dear Sugar quiz called “SEMEN: What Do You Know,” it got me wondering. I’m very vain about my figure. I’m in great shape, ride my bike 120 miles a week, watch what I eat, and count every calorie. So, here’s my question: How many calories are in semen? My fiancé and I enjoy oral sex about three times a week. Is it fattening? ----Colorado Girl
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MISS COLORADO, MY KUMQUAT:
When sperm leaves the human male, it travels at a Lance Armstrong-grade bike speed of 27 miles-an-hour. It weighs in at about a teaspoon, contains three times the vitamins of a Jolly Rancher and fairly explodes with protein (about the same as an egg white.) As for calories? 5-7. Fewer than a cherry Life Saver. Bon Appetit!