
Dear E. Jean,
Here’s the whole story: I was out the other night at a club, and my girlfriends and I were having a hilarious time, and well, the truth is I’m not used to drinking and maybe I had a few too many. I went home and one of the guys I’ve been talking to online, Mike, a guy I kinda like — good looking and smart, well I sent him an email that was a little more suggestive than the emails I normally send. Now Mike’s sending me emails and they’re very — I’m trying to find the right word — they’re almost LEWD. Very Barry White. In the “I want to lay you down,” type thing. I love Barry White, but I haven’t even MET Mike yet.
I don’t really know how to back this up to a level I’m comfortable with. I don’t want to sound like a big prude . . . but I don’t want to be treated like an inebriated slut either! Help! —Miss Margarita
To see E. Jean's answer read more
Margarita, My Dear Strumpet,
Trying to “back this up” is like trying to wear your brassier backwards. You can’t trade tit for tat. Send him a note.
Dear Mike,
Look my man, I had three margaritas the other night.
The silly email I sent you was waaaaay out of line.
I want to put things right. Let’s meet for coffee.
Boom! You disentangle the email quagmire. You pull things out of the Lady Chatterley mode. And you stop the hands of the clock when you stroll into Starbucks. In three seconds — the instant your eyes meet his — you’ll know if you really like him or not. Why squander another minute?
P.S. Since Barry White — the Man With the Velvet Voice — is now in heaven teaching the angels how to get funky, let’s all hope this guy turns out to be Your First, Your Last, and Your Everything.
To see more advice from E. Jean visit Elle Magazine and AskEJean.com.









Marc Jacobs
you started it, so tell him the truth and say "i was not in my right mind, and its going to a place that i am not comfy with so lets back it up"
its not rocket science.
1I completely agree with CaterpillarGirl. Just say what happened, apologize, and say you're uncomfortable with the current status.
I don't get why so many people have a problem with stuff like this.
2Hmmm maybe a little of the "real" you came out after those drinks but I think E.Jean's advice is on point.
3e. Jean
is the best...
thats a tad e.e. commings... no?
4Gotta love E.Jean!
5Lady Chatterley — hilarious! How I love a literary quip.
6You totally deserve it. Drunk dialing/emailing is not acceptable at any age. Sheesh!
7It's a rare event, but I agree with E. Jean. Just tell him the truth.
8Tell him the rtuth. If he is a good guy then he will understand and if he isn't then you won't be wasting anymore of your time.
9I agree, just tell him you were a bit inebriated and would like to slow things back down. If all else fails, you haven't met him yet, so you can just move on if he keeps skeazing up his e-mails.
10E. Jean is on point here - totally agree! Fess up to having a few. That's all there is to it!
11And love the Barry White quotes - somehow I"m in the mood now...
e. jean said it all.
12Just tell him you were "drunk the other night, and I don't usually talk that way. So please refrain from using that type of language with me in the future, as I find it repulsive, and I very embarassed that what I said led to this."
13Drunk-typing! Now that's a new trend or something...I mean, it's funny how people can actually turn on the computer, go online, go to the e-mail inbox open it, press 'reply to' then write a really sexy message, then press 'send.'
It's a more complicated version than drunk-dialing, I suppose
In my experience, when an online 'friend' starts to be skeazy a la Barry White, it's obvious that he wants some sex
And yes, I've dated men from online dating, and I've experienced the same thing (not drunk typing, but sending a guy a pretty sexy
message) and usually he just assumes that it's a green signal and he'll now definitely want to meet you (so he can get laid asap). So your telling him, it's a 'drunk' thing, can lead to his
disappointment and if he doesn't really like you seriously, he may move on to his next chat mate. But the good thing is, you'll know sooner than later (thank goodness you guys haven't met yet
too!).
So tell the truth, apologize and ask him to slow down.
Good luck to you.
14This is too funny. I love E Jean!
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