Dear E. Jean,

Here’s the whole story: I was out the other night at a club, and my girlfriends and I were having a hilarious time, and well, the truth is I’m not used to drinking and maybe I had a few too many. I went home and one of the guys I’ve been talking to online, Mike, a guy I kinda like — good looking and smart, well I sent him an email that was a little more suggestive than the emails I normally send. Now Mike’s sending me emails and they’re very — I’m trying to find the right word — they’re almost LEWD. Very Barry White. In the “I want to lay you down,” type thing. I love Barry White, but I haven’t even MET Mike yet.

I don’t really know how to back this up to a level I’m comfortable with. I don’t want to sound like a big prude . . . but I don’t want to be treated like an inebriated slut either! Help! —Miss Margarita

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Margarita, My Dear Strumpet,

Trying to “back this up” is like trying to wear your brassier backwards. You can’t trade tit for tat. Send him a note.

Dear Mike,
Look my man, I had three margaritas the other night.
The silly email I sent you was waaaaay out of line.
I want to put things right. Let’s meet for coffee.

Boom! You disentangle the email quagmire. You pull things out of the Lady Chatterley mode. And you stop the hands of the clock when you stroll into Starbucks. In three seconds — the instant your eyes meet his — you’ll know if you really like him or not. Why squander another minute?

P.S. Since Barry White — the Man With the Velvet Voice — is now in heaven teaching the angels how to get funky, let’s all hope this guy turns out to be Your First, Your Last, and Your Everything.

To see more advice from E. Jean visit Elle Magazine and AskEJean.com.